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he wants to do him favors


terese

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hi my name is tonya and i am 31 and my boyfriend of 5 months is 27 but not that matters, does it? well he has this busy job and wants for me to help him all the time when i am done with my own job. i have my own life and my own job and yet when i have time he thinks i should be running errands for him and helping him all the time if i tell him no then he gets mad and says i never want to help him. i use to like to help him but then one time isaid no and he got mad at me, so now when i say no, he always gets mad at me, then i say yes so he wont be mad at me and then i am mad at him for feeling that ihave to say yes. either way i don't win and i feel i lose all the time. i don't want to help him with anything anymore and when he asks of me a fovor i get mad inside and maybe i will say yso we wont fight about it but say it mean so he knows that i am not happy doing it, then he knows i am anyway sohe tells me to never mind that he will do it all himself. i do not know what to do here, i do not want to keep helping him and doing his favor with being mad aboiut it and i do not want him mad at me for not wanting to help him. is there something wrong with me that i do not want to help him or am i ok?

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VASH THE STAMPEDE

No theres nothing wrong with being mad at doing someone else's job.

There comes a time where enough is enough.

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that is an interesting heading, lol, had me curious so i had to peak.

i have been reading a book about "regression" and i have found this scenario in this book, well similar to it anyway.

 

the book states that alot of what we don't want to do is conditioning from our past.

 

my boyfriend takes his gramma out weekly and one day was feeling angry that his brother never takes her.

 

he confronted his brother and sister in law and of course his mom stepped in and made him to be the bad guy because the brother has two kids and on and on she went.

 

she made the comment that "i" don't take her out either. yes even though she is not blood related to me, still after five years, i could feel some responsibility to take her out, right?

 

well they have never asked me to directly, and the thought of helping her makes me balk, because the thought of helping anyone makes me balk, thus the regression.

 

i've been trying to learn alot about myself and my actions or in-actions as this case would be.

 

something to think about anyway, could regression be a part of what you experience when you don't want to help him, or has he just used up all his help needs, you know like over stayed his welcome so to speak?

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