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Asking for References


Gypsy_Soul

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So I've decided to start asking for personal relationship references from my potential long-term mates that want to date me. I figure that since the search for the compatible partner is just like a job search and/or buying a car, might as well start asking for references too.

 

I will start experimenting with this, not sure if anyone has heard of such a thing being done before but I will keep everyone posted on my responses and how everything turns out.:cool:

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When can I expect my first raise?

 

What type of retirement package do you provide?

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You sound like tiger20/Chris250.....:D

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When can I expect my first raise?

 

What type of retirement package do you provide?

 

Is there also a 401k and profit sharing plan?

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You sound like tiger20/Chris250.....:D

 

I'll have to look them up and see what they say:)

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NOT that it's anyone's business, but I'll satisfy my dear dedicated follower's curiosity anyway since I'm such a nice lady, my Valentine's gifts were awesome. They varied from materialistic to day trips one being Disney land and I has to take rain checks on my other offers:)

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NOT that it's anyone's business, but I'll satisfy my dear dedicated follower's curiosity anyway since I'm such a nice lady, my Valentine's gifts were awesome. They varied from materialistic to day trips one being Disney land and I has to take rain checks on my other offers:)

 

And what did you do for these guys back?

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NOT that it's anyone's business, but I'll satisfy my dear dedicated follower's curiosity anyway since I'm such a nice lady, my Valentine's gifts were awesome. They varied from materialistic to day trips one being Disney land and I has to take rain checks on my other offers:)

 

Oh boy.

 

The above is quite easy for a female to achieve, versus because she is "special".

 

Now, will you be providing personal references as well?

 

If so, be sure to include the above. :laugh::p

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NoMagicBullet

Who are these references going to be? Exes? Friends? Family? As if any of these parties will be unbiased. If these are potential long-term mates, then hopefully you've already met the friends & family. As for the exes, you never know when someone will have an ax to grind.

 

Hmmm. I think I need to come up with a General Relationship Examination (GRE), copyright it, then charge fees for administering it to potential daters and additional fees to report their scores to the ones they're wooing.

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NOT that it's anyone's business, but I'll satisfy my dear dedicated follower's curiosity anyway since I'm such a nice lady, my Valentine's gifts were awesome. They varied from materialistic to day trips one being Disney land and I has to take rain checks on my other offers:)

 

Well, in all seriousness, THIS is a big reason why there are a lot of angry guys out there. Guys bought into GorgeousGirl's frame and, after spending a lot of time and money on a woman who (they eventually came to realize) never was that interested in him, they vowed that something like this would never happen again.

 

Now I don't think GG held a gun to these guys' heads. But I do wonder what impression she gave these guys of how she felt about them before Valentine's Day. I wouldn't be surprised if she led them on.

 

Now GG's strategy might indeed work for her. She has been blessed with more than her share of physical beauty, and a lot of men loosen their boundaries around women who have that going for them. She can probably get away with a lot of bad behavior and drive these kinds of tough deals, that most of the rest of you women on here cannot. (Buying gifts for a woman who isn't your girlfriend, or who isn't even close to being your girlfriend, is being a sucker. Most women just cannot expect that from the guys they are seeing. And a good guy with a backbone wouldn't buy into that period.)

 

I do hope GG has a conscience though, and thinks about what happens to the other guys, after she is done with them. They are going to be dating other women, maybe someone like you, and if they are angry about being 'played' by GG, the next girl is going to have to deal with it.

 

Just sayin'.

Edited by Imajerk17
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Untouchable_Fire
So I've decided to start asking for personal relationship references from my potential long-term mates that want to date me. I figure that since the search for the compatible partner is just like a job search and/or buying a car, might as well start asking for references too.

I will start experimenting with this, not sure if anyone has heard of such a thing being done before but I will keep everyone posted on my responses and how everything turns out.:cool:

 

I don't think it will work well for you. See with a loan or a job... I already know that I want it, so I'm willing to jump through some hoops.

 

With you... few men are going to be willing to jump through hoops just to find out if he wants to date you. The men who are willing to jump through those hoops will most likely be desperate and of a lower standard.

 

So... I'd say go ahead and do this, as long as you are willing to drop your standards really low.

 

Oh... and I agree with SB about the straight jacket. :D

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So I've decided to start asking for personal relationship references from my potential long-term mates that want to date me.

 

 

I chuckled, thinking that you're trying to entertain, but now I'm not sure. Are you serious? Maybe I've just been trolled. :)

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You should ask them to do a quest before they have the right to start dating you, princess.

 

 

 

Well, in all seriousness, THIS is a big reason why there are a lot of angry guys out there. Guys bought into GorgeousGirl's frame and, after spending a lot of time and money on a woman who (they eventually came to realize) never was that interested in him, they vowed that something like this would never happen again.

100% this. I wouldn't be surprised if GG would have trouble getting positive references from people who after much blood sweat and tears had gotten the privilege to date her, since many would feel used.

 

And another point, do you really think there are quality guys with options that wouldn't run for the hills if you told them this? This is a good way to weed out everyone but the desperate guys interested in you.

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Intricategirl

If you can pick up on social clues, he'll do this already. If he's a player, he won't introduce you to his friends, and if he does, they'll treat you like they'll never see you again because they can't keep all the names straight. If you meet his family and they tell you, "I'm gonna give you some crap, and you feel free to give it right back. 'Cause I like you, and there's been some of them I haven't liked" it means you're one of the family and they're comfortable being themselves around you. Co-workers at the office party- are they hanging with him or avoiding him?

 

People tell you everything you need to know about themselves. You just have to listen. Only those who can't pick up on the social clues need actual references in the classic sense.

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I totally agree with this, I also think that asking for references will save more time instead of wasting it with the likely wrong person/player. Picking up in all those social cues takes more time. Think of the time one can save by checking out their character and their relationship habits through a thorough investigation.

 

If you can pick up on social clues, he'll do this already. If he's a player, he won't introduce you to his friends, and if he does, they'll treat you like they'll never see you again because they can't keep all the names straight. If you meet his family and they tell you, "I'm gonna give you some crap, and you feel free to give it right back. 'Cause I like you, and there's been some of them I haven't liked" it means you're one of the family and they're comfortable being themselves around you. Co-workers at the office party- are they hanging with him or avoiding him?

 

People tell you everything you need to know about themselves. You just have to listen. Only those who can't pick up on the social clues need actual references in the classic sense.

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So I take this as being the in thing to do now. So because one doesn't agree with anothers philosophy especially in lifestyle and dating practices, they must be stupid and a troll? It's one thing to disagree but really, if you believe I'm such as you say, than do the intelligent thing and don't respond. How simple is that? I'm so smart.

Troll.

 

Nobody is this stupid.

 

My idea certainly beats going on just a feeling that someone is a player without any decent proof. I'm sure you can relate.

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welikeincrowds

I actually thought about this possibility once, and that's when I realized that I'm not even on speaking terms with a single one of my exes. God dammit!

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I was thinking about that too. What if they're not on speaking terms? There's certainly a reason and two sides to the story.

 

Not only exes could be used, but anyone that can vouch and speak for you as a good person or mate. If he's religious, the references could be from his church, or if he volunteers, people who know him on a community level, etc.

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welikeincrowds
I was thinking about that too. What if they're not on speaking terms? There's certainly a reason and two sides to the story.

 

Not only exes could be used, but anyone that can vouch and speak for you as a good person or mate. If he's religious, the references could be from his church, or if he volunteers, people who know him on a community level, etc.

 

Wait, you're serious?

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:laugh: yes! I haven't tried it yet, it's something I'm thinking of doing an experiment.
Wait, you're serious?
Edited by GorgeousGirl
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