WambleMistyc Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 I think i'm very jealous, and i don't know how to stop, or control myself. Me and mi b/f have been dating for 8 months, and i always over-react when he sees another girl in the mall or wherever we are, even when he talks to me about his girl-friends I get very mad and upset. Sometimes, I think i'm not so good por him, actually i have a very low selfesteem, i've thought of going to a psichologic or something, i need help. Like 4 months ago, i used to get so jealous when he talked to my own sister, also i got the "sick feeling" when he talked to my best friend and i'm always getting mad. He says "hun, i love YOU...it hurts when you don't trust me" i'm scared if he gets sick of me cuz i don't want to lose him, i definetly love this guy , sometimes he says i'm a "jealous-psicho" and i hate when he says stuff like that to me (he's like making fun of me" I want to change, for me and for my relationship. I really don't know how...help me please!...Thanks...! Link to post Share on other sites
iceprincess Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 Hi, there sweetie. I underdstand how you're feeling...and what you're going through now. The first thing you need to do is start with yourself. You've pinpointed the problem to yourself; some girls DO get really jealous about other girls, even when they don't want to feel like that because they know their boyfriend is faithful. It would help if you get some counseling...or just talk to a friend that you trust. I used to be like that and my relationship didn't go so well. You need to start loving yourself for who you are. Don't compare yourself with other people and tell yourself that you're not good enough. Every single person is unique in their own ways. Look at all your good qualities and tell yourself that you are special because of them. It's all in the mind. Don't fight with yourself...just let things be. I hope I've helped you somewhat. Good luck. iceprincess Link to post Share on other sites
Author WambleMistyc Posted October 7, 2003 Author Share Posted October 7, 2003 Thanks a lot Princess, what you wrote is helping me a lot in my relationship. Tonight me and my b/f went to KFC and there was a girl there, very cute and all, he kept staring at her for a pretty long time, but i controlled myself and didn't say anything. All of a sudden he stopped staring at her, and he looked so confused! i know he thought "why didn't she get jealous?" "why didn't she say anything?" and you know what i realized?...That prolly he does that on porpose so that he can "have fun" seeing me getting mad!... Anyways, i just acted like nothing had happened, and it made me feel very good, comfortable and relaxed!...i hope i keep controlling myself in the future...! Link to post Share on other sites
iceprincess Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Great self-control there, wamblemystic! That's the way to do it; hmm...it really irks me to know that he stares at girls on purpose just to get you riled up. Now that's some important information you left out. If your man keeps doing that, then really think about what you're getting out of this relationship. He SHOULDN'T be treating you like that. Staring at other girls to make you angry is very immature and childish. Why are you with him?! If I had a man who did that, and he KNEW that it pissed me off, I would drop him like a stone. What YOU should do...to experiment....is start checking out really hot guys when he's with you and make him notice that you're doing it. When he gets all jealous and mad at you, tell him that that's exactly how YOU feel when he's doing it to you. A lot of people talk a lot about love and how they can't live without the other person, but why be with someone who treats you like crap and smears it in your face? Sweetie, I hope things work out well for you. Keep your head high because you are a beautiful person. Link to post Share on other sites
Heretosavetheday Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Hi, for the girl that had a problem with her boyfriend being jealous. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 4 years now and let me say that the jealousy factor goes both ways. Whenever my girlfriend see's me even glance at another girl she tells me about it. And I do the same to her. You see, in any close relationship like that, its never really okay to "look" at other people. You should be satisfied with what you have. Which alot of other guys probably disagree but thats why i've been dating my girlfriend for 4 years with no on/off periods. So all in all, its okay to be mad at him. I mean, if my girl didnt keep me in check i'd probably be looking at girls left and right. So whether your boyfriend admits it or not, he needs you to keep him in check. Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 Hey u can change, u just gotta trust him!! i used to get jealous just like you- like when my bf looked at other chicks id get SO MAD!! i felt that he wasnt happy with me cos if so he wouldnt look at other chicks....i then noticed that when i looked at other guys he didnt seem to notice or care and its that attitude that attracted me more to him, and i knew that by being jealous iw ould just push him farther and farther away, plus he had never cheated or anything for me to get all paranoid! finally after ALOT of hard work, even after a break up and hard arguments caused by stupid jealousy, i decided that jealousy wasnt worth it, and that it would only cause our relationship to fail....so i finally got it through my head that he wants to be with me cos if he didnt he wouldnt be with me now.... i trust him now...i really do! i even love him more and cherish the times together, and now we dont fight anymore, and im actually getting along with him as a girlfriend but also i feel alot like a good friend of his.....its really made a difference, also imsaving myself from feeling aggravated and stuff... plus havent u ever looked at another guy cos he was cute but that was it- even though u looked thats as far as u would take it cos u know u love ure bf and hes th eone who rocks ure world.. thats how i feel- i maybe see lots of cute guys but honestly i dont compare any to my bf- for me my bf is the ultimate best and hes the only one i want to go lay next to and kiss and hold!!! next time u feel a rage of jealousy try to focus on something else, like whos Boyfriend is he??? is he that girls? ure friend? ure sis? or is he yours??? If hes with u then he is with u for his own will, dont let jealousy ruin things for u, just trust him, he must love u if hes stil with u even though ure behavior is a lil scary! goodlucK! Link to post Share on other sites
calithin83 Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 but dont think the looking doesnt bother me, its bad if he looks and stares right in front of u,that is rude behavior! and i never check out guys, i see cute guys but thats it- i dont stare or turn around to see them, i just dont really care and thats cos i love my bf- i guess we girls just hope our bfs love us the same way and that they dont check out other girls..cos that is mest up ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
thewhooosh Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 i kinda know what you are going thorught myself, but a little different. my name is colton and my girl is mandi and we have only been goin out for about 2 months but its like we have been going out for like 2 years. i love this girl so much and id do anything for her, shes pushes me to do better and i try my hardest every day to see her. you see we are both in high school and niether of us can drive yet and we also live in differnt towns so its hard. i worry that because of the small distance that i missing out on out relationship.i can realkly only see her on weekends but just latley shes been different like thats shes been a little meaner but shes just ****ing around and iv been different i know it like i feel im more comfortable with her so i tend to say to much or ast to wierd and i think it drives her away.i love her so much and id do anything for her and i just want a long term relationship im not one to just like flig of the month but shes done thiungs like that but anywwats we havent known each other that long and shes has tons of friends and sometimes she acts like shes dating with them like shes grabbing there ass and flirting and stuff.i dont want her to change what shes oes for me and i dont want to ruin what i got because im scared that if i do something that shell leave me. if you have any advice tell me please Link to post Share on other sites
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