bitteorca Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 (edited) Hi, brief background: been dating this girl for like a month. She says she really likes me, she says she misses me, she says she is excited to see me, etc etc. I like her too, but want to take things slow, slowish anyway, not snail's pace. Also, I could most probably be in a relationship with her now, she has hinted at it, even asked me to ask her when she was a bit drunk. and even when sober said she would think it was nice. So pretty sure if I wanted to jump right in I could. Anywayyyy....I'm not sure whether I trust her. She has said that I can and should trust her, and that she wants to prove to me that I can. We're at the stage where we have both said that we wouldn't want to get with other people, and she has said that she likes me a lot and wouldn't want to ruin that. However, facebook ruining everything again, I notice that a guy who blatantly likes her (she has admitted before that she knows he likes her as well) has said that to her on her wall that he hasn't been inboxed today, and then later I see that he said he's used to her inboxing her. She just said that we'll more than likely catch up soon to him. What am I supposed to think?! I want to trust this girl. But am I over-reacting?! I mean, I know she isn't meeting up with him or anything like, and at the end of the day, I do believe she's only seeing and sleeping with me, I'd tell you if I had a gut feeling she wasn't. I mean I can't be 100% I suppose, but you can't be 100% about anything! I'm just pretty sure. BUT, it does bother me that she would be inboxing guys that she knows like her. Am I being jealous? Is she a girl who just likes to flirt with guys? Likes getting the attention from guys? I think this is the case. This isn't a post about her sleeping with other guys or anything. But I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it. But I'm not sure whether I'm just being overly jealous? Like I said, she's the one going out with me, wanting a relationship with me, sleeping with me, sending me cute messages, etc. And I could be in a relationship with her. Its just hard because I want to trust her for me to consider a relationship with her, but at the same time, she can do what she wants because I'm not in a relationship with her when I probably could be....it's a really difficult situation... help! Edited February 7, 2011 by bitteorca Link to post Share on other sites
Author bitteorca Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 bump? opinions would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Sorry, not a Facebook addict, what does inboxing mean? Link to post Share on other sites
lexaton Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 I don't think you are being overdramatic at all. I would think it was weird too. I think she likes the attention and might like him a little even if she doesn't admit to it. How old are you guys? Also I think a month is too soon to make things official. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bitteorca Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 Sorry, not a Facebook addict, what does inboxing mean? Inboxing is basically like emailing. No-one can see it, its just like a personal message. Not publicly viewable like a wall-post I don't think you are being overdramatic at all. I would think it was weird too. I think she likes the attention and might like him a little even if she doesn't admit to it. How old are you guys? Also I think a month is too soon to make things official. Really? I posted this on another thread and they said it was nothing, and that she just likes the attention. Maybe she does like him a tad, but obviously not as much as me, as I'm the one she's spending time with, sleeping with, and she wants a relationship with me, etc. I don't know, I suppose it makes me a bit jealous anyway....even after me saying that I'm obviously in a better position. How strange Yeah I think its too soon to make it official as well. She knows this, and said although it would be nice to be in a relationship, she understands why I want to make sure on things and so forth Link to post Share on other sites
BullsFan Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 You can't expect exclusivity when you haven't made things official... You seem to want the benefits of being exclusive without making the commitment... Right now she probably feels you're just dating and each of you are exploring your options...I don't think her talking to other guys raises a red flag... Link to post Share on other sites
Author bitteorca Posted February 7, 2011 Author Share Posted February 7, 2011 You can't expect exclusivity when you haven't made things official... You seem to want the benefits of being exclusive without making the commitment... Right now she probably feels you're just dating and each of you are exploring your options...I don't think her talking to other guys raises a red flag... I think you've summed things up pretty well here. I'm expecting exclusivity with her, whilst at the same time not committing to exclusivity with her myself, even though she has made it obvious she would probably like that. I first thought of it as a catch-22 situation...I want to trust her, but can't really say anything if she does anything because I'm not in a relationship with her...but that's why it is a catch-22 situation, because me expecting exclusivity with her without making it official doesn't make sense. And I'm not avoiding exclusivity with her due to me wanting to play the field/explore other options. I think its because I want to trust her before I get to that stage, and just make sure of things in general. But I suppose I can't have the best of both worlds. I've also thought that with this particular girl, a lot of it might be naivety. Like she just messages people back all friendly without realising what they're actually after. But then again, it might not be like that at all. She might know exactly what they are after, and like the attention. Who knows But yeah, thanks for the advice! Link to post Share on other sites
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