jimbo Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Any tips on how to gauge the true interest a woman's interest in you? Here's the deal. So, we had our third date yesterday, which I think it went very well. In fact, we setup our fourth and fifth date last night. We're doing lunch on Monday (MLK day) and next Saturday doing dinner and seeing a movie. So she invited me up to watch some TV. Ironically, her TV is in her room, and the only place to sit, was her bed. So we laid down, and well, we started kissing intensely, and then she stopped saying it's only the third date and I want to take it slow. I said no problem, we're just kissing, nothing else. She said, well, it can lead to something else. I said I have control, and I am just kissing, not looking or trying anything else. Which was the truth. I was pushing for anything past kissing. I happened to enjoy kissing her a lot. So, I question her interest in me. Am I wrong to do so? Plus, another thing that is a bit bothering is, I always have to contact her. She only calls or texts me in response to mine. I just feel this insatiable attraction towards her. Not really sure why. Yes, I can control myself, I just question her interest. Link to post Share on other sites
mo mo Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 She's trying to keep the spark alive and it seems she's doing a damn good job at it. You have at least 2 more dates with her man, relax and enjoy yourself. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 If you already have the next two dates lined up, then her interest level is definitely pretty high. Try to relax and just enjoy yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
OceanGirl Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Any tips on how to gauge the true interest a woman's interest in you? Here's the deal. So, we had our third date yesterday, which I think it went very well. In fact, we setup our fourth and fifth date last night. We're doing lunch on Monday (MLK day) and next Saturday doing dinner and seeing a movie. So she invited me up to watch some TV. Ironically, her TV is in her room, and the only place to sit, was her bed. So we laid down, and well, we started kissing intensely, and then she stopped saying it's only the third date and I want to take it slow. I said no problem, we're just kissing, nothing else. She said, well, it can lead to something else. I said I have control, and I am just kissing, not looking or trying anything else. Which was the truth. I was pushing for anything past kissing. I happened to enjoy kissing her a lot. So, I question her interest in me. Am I wrong to do so? Plus, another thing that is a bit bothering is, I always have to contact her. She only calls or texts me in response to mine. I just feel this insatiable attraction towards her. Not really sure why. Yes, I can control myself, I just question her interest. You are questioning her interest because she doesn't want to have sex with you on the third date? Link to post Share on other sites
shayan Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 seriously don't jump to conclusions you probably won't know how she feels about you when and if you guys get closer. Just enjoy it and see where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Any tips on how to gauge the true interest a woman's interest in you? Here's the deal. So, we had our third date yesterday, which I think it went very well. In fact, we setup our fourth and fifth date last night. We're doing lunch on Monday (MLK day) and next Saturday doing dinner and seeing a movie. So she invited me up to watch some TV. Ironically, her TV is in her room, and the only place to sit, was her bed. So we laid down, and well, we started kissing intensely, and then she stopped saying it's only the third date and I want to take it slow. I said no problem, we're just kissing, nothing else. She said, well, it can lead to something else. I said I have control, and I am just kissing, not looking or trying anything else. Which was the truth. I was pushing for anything past kissing. I happened to enjoy kissing her a lot. So, I question her interest in me. Am I wrong to do so? Plus, another thing that is a bit bothering is, I always have to contact her. She only calls or texts me in response to mine. I just feel this insatiable attraction towards her. Not really sure why. Yes, I can control myself, I just question her interest. If she invited you at her place it is a high interest sign. Probably there was some sexual tension, the purpose was not just watching TV . IMO she badly wanted to have sex but then she wanted to look like a "good-girl" not giving it too fast. That said, I think there is not any romantic attachment yet (for her) - She doesn't initiate contact, so either she is insecure or she has lower interest than you have but than again some women are a little insecure at the beginning and prefer that men initiate contact. You can tell her interest-level by the way she answers : it she is enthusiastic/exited about your call/text than it simply means that she is interested but too shy to initiate contact. She maybe attracted sexually at you but you have to make her romantically attracted first if you want a lasting R. Just take it easy and slow, be confident and funny and especially don't behave needy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimbo Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) She texted me last night out of the blue saying she's looking forward to seeing me Monday and really enjoyed our date on Saturday. steven20, when I picked her up, she leaned in for the open door kiss. Several times in the car, she leaned over and gave me a kiss. She initiated the kissing and touching on her bed. We made eye contact and then she leaned in to kiss me tongue and all. Then, after a few minutes, said it's only the third date, and I want to take things slow. She she has low interest, then I wonder what her high interest will be like. Usually, if there was low interest, she would not had let me on her bed, she would not had stuck her tongue down my throat, and we would not be touching each other all over each others body. Granted, most was above the waste, but all over the place. If there was low interest, why setup a date on Saturday for Monday and next Saturday? She would had made up an excuse. Interestingly, she asked how many sexual partners I've had. Since we're both in our 30's, with her having five years on me, I just said I have sufficient experience. I dropped it there, but she kept on asking. I thought that was interesting. Also, we need to add the fact that we've not seen each other for three weeks due to a family illness. I am certainly not running after her. I just call or text every two days or so, once. She then calls me back, cause it seems, she is not a big texter. OceanGirl, no, just hard to read her. Wasn't expecting or planning on it. Didn't even bring a condom. Just enjoy kissing and touching her. It's been a few months. Only wish she contacted me more. Granted, she did say, she, in the past, has always had the man make the contacts and plan the dates. So, I guess she's more of a follower than a leader in terms of a relationship; except in terms of intimacy. Edited January 17, 2011 by jimbo Link to post Share on other sites
waynebrady Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Most women never initiate contact or physical affection, ever. Not even in long term relationships or marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Most women never initiate contact or physical affection, ever. Not even in long term relationships or marriages. Reading your posts is like watching someone throw a stinkbomb into the room and then running off to leave everyone else to deal with it. Joking aside, do you have any studies you can link to that support what you've written or is it based on anecdata? Link to post Share on other sites
mo mo Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Well I didn't know all this other information that she has been initiating the kisses. My apologies though. I take back what I said about her low interest level. If she's doing all these things & stacking up dates then I would say at the minimum she has moderate interest level. Her interest level is at 80%-85%. When it rises into the 90s she won't be able to control herself. She'll be jumping all over you & not talking about taking it slow. But 80%-85% interest level is not bad at all. Anything above 50% is passing & you are still in. I just think the higher a woman's interest level is the more fun & fulfilling the relationship will be. So I think you would have more fun if you can raise her interest into the 90s. I think you can do it if you play your cards right. Just hang back, take it slow, continue to let her initiate the kissing, make her laugh on the dates, show manners & class by opening her door if you haven't already, don't bring up heavy subjects, etc. Give it time. I think you are doing the right things already. It just takes time for her interest level to rise into the 90s. That could take another 3-4 dates if you keep up the good work. How do you measure interest levels? Do you have a gauge like the ones used to read air pressure in tires? Do you have a special ruler? Link to post Share on other sites
waynebrady Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Reading your posts is like watching someone throw a stinkbomb into the room and then running off to leave everyone else to deal with it. Joking aside, do you have any studies you can link to that support what you've written or is it based on anecdata? I don't need any studies. It's common sense. If I said that grass is green and the sky is blue would you ask me if I had any studies to support that too? Give me a break. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I don't need any studies. It's common sense. If I said that grass is green and the sky is blue would you ask me if I had any studies to support that too? Give me a break. Two questions: what drugs are you on to make you believe what you wrote above is common sense? Can I have some? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 'I find you very attractive and I also would like to take this slow. For now, rather than going back to your room and being on your bed, I'd prefer to keep our dates in public. How do you feel about that?'. OP, since you really enjoy kissing, you can do a lifetime of it without being on a woman's bed. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I don't need any studies. It's common sense. If I said that grass is green and the sky is blue would you ask me if I had any studies to support that too? Give me a break. I disagree about it being common sense. I can see the grass is green and I can see the sky is blue but I cannot see that "most women never initiate contact or physical affection, ever. Not even in long term relationships or marriages." Thus, studies would help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimbo Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Well, she's told me today that she's told her parents about me. In addition, we're hanging out with her friends next weekend and then going to the movies. She asked me if I minded, said, nah, it doesn't bother me. I know, if I said yes, it did, so early on, there would be an issue in her head; plus it could leave a bad taste in her friends' mouth's. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 'That's great. I'd love to meet your parents. Let's set that up' 'TBH, I'd prefer to take you out to a movie alone' Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimbo Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 'That's great. I'd love to meet your parents. Let's set that up' 'TBH, I'd prefer to take you out to a movie alone' Movie after drinks with her friends. They are celebrating something. I know, if I said no, I would loose that battle. It was a double edged sword. Link to post Share on other sites
mo mo Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I still want to know how to measure a woman's interest level. Maybe you have her blow into a balloon and measure the density of CO2? Or maybe you take blood and urine samples. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Movie after drinks with her friends. They are celebrating something. I know, if I said no, I would loose that battle. It was a double edged sword. OP, dating and relationships aren't 'battles', they're life actions which match up with your wants and desires. You're asking how to gauge a woman's true interest in you. I'm offering you the benefit of a lifetime of mistakes and lessons learned. Hope it works out Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimbo Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 How would it look if I said no? She would tell them either, a, she'll go alone cause I didn't want to go. or b, not go and tell them Jim didn't want to go. So, I will have her gf's pissed at me and she will either ditch me or be pissed at me too. So, with that logic, I have no choice but to go. I guess, it is actually a complement in terms of being good enough to be introduced to her friends. No? Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 If I said that grass is green and the sky is blue would you ask me if I had any studies to support that too? I don't think the sky is ever blue in your world, wayne. Yes, Jimbo, she's interested. If you're interested in getting to know her better, there's nothing wrong with meeting her friends for one outing. Link to post Share on other sites
Questionis Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 I think she likes you and wants to jump you but just want to make sure you are interested in her and its not a sex thing only for you. Give her a chance I bet she will jump you by date 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jimbo Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 Just wished she would communicate more and that I did not have to call or text her first for her to call me back. That is a peeve on my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Questionis Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 That's a worry maybe you can give her some time to relax and know she can trust you. Then bring it up, that you find it very important that she makes more of an effort in communication.If you feel weird you could ask about what her phone tariff is, how many messages /calls she can make, then suggest she gets more? Link to post Share on other sites
ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Well, she's told me today that she's told her parents about me. In addition, we're hanging out with her friends next weekend and then going to the movies. She asked me if I minded, said, nah, it doesn't bother me. I know, if I said yes, it did, so early on, there would be an issue in her head; plus it could leave a bad taste in her friends' mouth's. dude, she wants you. badly. I don't care what she says... next time you're in the bed room. rev her up and tap that silly -- then tap it again for good measure. she so wants you to. cheers, mate. nicely done. Link to post Share on other sites
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