dating, to friends, back to dating?

[karam083]

hey all, i'm new here. I'm looking for some advice!

 

So, the story goes I met this girl through friends of friends. It started off as a harmless email expecting nothing to happen, to me asking her to hang out, which she accepts.

 

Now the first few dates go really well, I've played all my cards right, setting up to see her once a week, being mysterious, confident making eye contact, and funny. It all worked and eventually on the 3rd date, which she invites me to come to her house for a get together with her good friends, we make out in her room.

 

All is well, until she hits me with the "I've been meaning to tell you, I love haning out with you, but I just came out of a relationship and I don't think I'm ready yet, lets be friends for now". We were cuddling in her basement, and I had my arm around her when she said this. Funny thing is the moment she said it she instantly started touching me more and getting even more closer. We only hugged that night when I left her house.

 

We still hang out to this day once a week, and its getting more and more amazing every time i'm with her. We still cuddle, and touch, and generally act like a couple. But the thing is I haven't kissed her in a month, and its killing me. All she seems to want now are hugs. I'm trying my best to not pressure her and give her time to heal from her breakup, but its hard.

 

Everytime I see her I tell myself, just go in and kiss her like before, but it never feels like the right time anymore. I'm starting to question if she wants me to kiss her anymore, or if she wants to take it slow now and be friends. I'm starting to wonder if she's thinking "why doesn't he kiss me anymore?".

 

Should I just man up and kiss her, or give her that space and wait till she's ready? When will I know if she's ready? I mean she calls me up just as much as I call her, so I know she's still interested.

 

I've just never dealt with situation before, I'm hoping things will pick up again and we can start dating and continue where our feelings left off.

 

Thank you for any input! much appriciated!

[january2010]

Ask her directly whether or not her feelings have changed since you last spoke.

 

If she's still not ready to take things further, you need to decide whether or not you're happy to wait and take your cues from her. Otherwise, you'll become more emotionally invested while she's just using you with no intention of dating you at all.

 

That doesn't necessarily make her a bad person but her confusion and cake-eating puts you in limboland.

Edited January 4, 2011 by january2010

[karam083]

I've only known this girl for a bit past 2 months now, I would feel weird bringing up feelings and talking things over. I would rather just let things happen. The downside to that would be that I would be stuck in 'limboland" as you said. Its like a taste of heaven, with side effects of hell.

 

We've been hanging out as friends for a while now and its been really great. I'm just worried that the feelings we had will fade out over time and we'll just be stuck as "friends" which is why I really want to kiss her again. I'm just gonna go in for it!