Needy... Needy

[jcrdnf]

I have been dating a guy for 3 months now. Everything is good except I got laid off and I am so needy toward him. Its like I am super bored an all my attention is going on him or us. I dont want to push him away. Give me some ideas on what to do to keep busy. Im not a athletic person (kinda overweight) so sports is out. Im not ms martha swetart so Im not going to bake cakes or anything. Family is not that big. Im just plain bored and lonely when hes not around. How do I keep my stuff together?

[vaxathrax]

Just because you are overweight means sports is out? Isn't that why 75% of the people in this country are active? Do you think most people actually enjoy running?

 

Books, rock climbing and long meandering walks with no destination are how I burn my time. If you are hurting for a job and are good at something you can always try to exploit that somehow (if you are good at arts/crafts/knitting sell your stuff on etsy or ebay).

 

If you aren't good at anything you could always figure out what you want to be good at and do that. It's the season to resolve to do things you won't actually do. I don't make resolutions because I'm already perfect, but maybe the piano is for you?

 

What do you like besides your boyfriend? Once you figure that out, do that.

[DuskCrush]

Why don't you download some games from BigFish.com

I'm not working for bigfish---LOL

But my mom was down about something and I got her to start playing these hidden object games and now she plays them a few hours a day and doesn't even care about the something.

Good for distracting the mind.

[Karma20]

Or how about when you get the urge to contact him just cause your bored post here instead. You will push him away if you keep acting needy.

[Yer_Blues]

When I'm bored or have a lot of free time, I like to learn about concepts, try out new ideas, and expose myself to new information. Easy way to do this is to find a topic that interests you that you don't know as much about as you would like, and just research it.

 

Even something as easy to use as Wikipedia provides a whole lot of connected information that lets you hop from one related concept to the next. If you make this a habit, you'll be surprised at the amount of little information that you pick up along the way.

 

You can mix it up a bit. I like to do some history, some philosophy, a lot of emerging science (I'm obsessed with cognitive psychology), politics, etc. Really anything that interests you. If you are more of a music person and can listen to music as a primary activity, finding a new artist or genre is equally effective.

 

Another thing I like to do is do a full self-analysis in writing. It's an opportunity to analyze what you like about yourself, what you really want to change, what you can't change and need to accept, etc. It provides good insight into yourself and helps you realize that you could be spending your time improving yourself.

 

You mention being overweight, and that ruling out sports. I was a heffer (well over 300), and I always had this idea that even though I loved sports and watching sports, I just wasn't meant or able to participate. It's false. I figured out in self-analysis that I didn't like being obese, and that it was more in my control than I realized. If you can create goals from your self-analysis, it's easier than trying to achieve goals that are formed by outside/external pressure. You have a unique opportunity to spend this free time on you, for you. Now is a great time to get into a workout routine even if you feel a little uncomfortable about it, because every fat person and their uncle is going to be trying to change themselves for "New Year's Resolutions".

 

Oh, and avoid the boredom/stress eating at this time of year. It's so incredibly easy to consume a boatload of calories when you have nothing to do and are trying to pass time inside your own home. I'm home from college on break and it has taken a real concentrated effort beyond what it normally does to avoid binge eating.

Edited December 29, 2010 by Yer_Blues

[hART]

Good introverted hobbies are reading, art, crafts, exercise (there are many overweight people who enjoy this, you'd be surprised, you have to find the right place), or taking up an instrument... Your personality type will help you find activities and interests that people similar to you enjoy. First take a couple tests, then explore a forum with hobbies or interests as a title. Here is the link: http://similarminds.com/personality_tests.html

[AverageJoe]

You spend the day figuring out how to dress in his favorite lingerie, as sexy as you can possibly get.

 

When he gets home from work you give him an hour of downtime. Until then do not open your mouth until you are on your knees. Then when it is all said and done, you thank him profusely for knocking out the rent. Follow up with giving him a cold beer, turn on ESPN and ask him what he might like for dinner.

 

Repeat as necessary.

[Yer_Blues]

You spend the day figuring out how to dress in his favorite lingerie, as sexy as you can possibly get.

 

When he gets home from work you give him an hour of downtime. Until then do not open your mouth until you are on your knees. Then when it is all said and done, you thank him profusely for knocking out the rent. Follow up with giving him a cold beer, turn on ESPN and ask him what he might like for dinner.

 

Repeat as necessary.

I suppose she should not have opinions and masturbate to the idea of a new vacuum cleaner as well?

[AverageJoe]

She can do whatever she likes.

[PhillyDude]

I have been dating a guy for 3 months now. Everything is good except I got laid off and I am so needy toward him. Its like I am super bored an all my attention is going on him or us. I dont want to push him away. Give me some ideas on what to do to keep busy. Im not a athletic person (kinda overweight) so sports is out. Im not ms martha swetart so Im not going to bake cakes or anything. Family is not that big. Im just plain bored and lonely when hes not around. How do I keep my stuff together?

 

 

This may sound like crazy to deal with your boredom but how bout looking for a job?

[Yer_Blues]

This may sound like crazy to deal with your boredom but how bout looking for a job?

Anybody who has ever been unemployed or job hunting knows that there is a lot of downtime beyond any reasonable amount of searching you could do.

[PhillyDude]

Anybody who has ever been unemployed or job hunting knows that there is a lot of downtime beyond any reasonable amount of searching you could do.

 

 

Not berween 9am and 6pm

[ecm]

You spend the day figuring out how to dress in his favorite lingerie, as sexy as you can possibly get.

 

When he gets home from work you give him an hour of downtime. Until then do not open your mouth until you are on your knees. Then when it is all said and done, you thank him profusely for knocking out the rent. Follow up with giving him a cold beer, turn on ESPN and ask him what he might like for dinner.

 

Repeat as necessary.

 

On the one hand, I wanna smack you. On the other hand, that just made me lol.

[AverageJoe]

On the one hand, I wanna smack you. On the other hand, that just made me lol.

 

It works better if you read it in the voice of Morgan Freeman.

[jcrdnf]

Good introverted hobbies are reading, art, crafts, exercise (there are many overweight people who enjoy this, you'd be surprised, you have to find the right place), or taking up an instrument... Your personality type will help you find activities and interests that people similar to you enjoy. First take a couple tests, then explore a forum with hobbies or interests as a title. Here is the link: http://similarminds.com/personality_tests.html

 

 

Thanks for the website. I will look into it asap

[jcrdnf]

When I'm bored or have a lot of free time, I like to learn about concepts, try out new ideas, and expose myself to new information. Easy way to do this is to find a topic that interests you that you don't know as much about as you would like, and just research it.

 

Even something as easy to use as Wikipedia provides a whole lot of connected information that lets you hop from one related concept to the next. If you make this a habit, you'll be surprised at the amount of little information that you pick up along the way.

 

You can mix it up a bit. I like to do some history, some philosophy, a lot of emerging science (I'm obsessed with cognitive psychology), politics, etc. Really anything that interests you. If you are more of a music person and can listen to music as a primary activity, finding a new artist or genre is equally effective.

 

Another thing I like to do is do a full self-analysis in writing. It's an opportunity to analyze what you like about yourself, what you really want to change, what you can't change and need to accept, etc. It provides good insight into yourself and helps you realize that you could be spending your time improving yourself.

 

You mention being overweight, and that ruling out sports. I was a heffer (well over 300), and I always had this idea that even though I loved sports and watching sports, I just wasn't meant or able to participate. It's false. I figured out in self-analysis that I didn't like being obese, and that it was more in my control than I realized. If you can create goals from your self-analysis, it's easier than trying to achieve goals that are formed by outside/external pressure. You have a unique opportunity to spend this free time on you, for you. Now is a great time to get into a workout routine even if you feel a little uncomfortable about it, because every fat person and their uncle is going to be trying to change themselves for "New Year's Resolutions".

 

Oh, and avoid the boredom/stress eating at this time of year. It's so incredibly easy to consume a boatload of calories when you have nothing to do and are trying to pass time inside your own home. I'm home from college on break and it has taken a real concentrated effort beyond what it normally does to avoid binge eating.

 

 

You are right. Now is the free time that gives me an opportunity to work on me. I have signed up for a gym membership and hope to stay consistant with it. I do feel like if I got my self together and more self respect I would not need him to constantly give me reassurance that I am wanted. So thanks for the reminder that now is the time for me and not him.

[Star Gazer]

Just because you are overweight means sports is out? Isn't that why 75% of the people in this country are active? Do you think most people actually enjoy running?

 

75%? :laugh: If 75% of the country was active, do you think we'd have an obesity epidemic!?

 

Only 5% of Americans get any amount of vigorous exercise on any given day.

[Star Gazer]

You are right. Now is the free time that gives me an opportunity to work on me. I have signed up for a gym membership and hope to stay consistant with it. I do feel like if I got my self together and more self respect I would not need him to constantly give me reassurance that I am wanted. So thanks for the reminder that now is the time for me and not him.

 

This is so fabulous that you see this now! Yay for you!!

[Els]

Oh good Lord. I was unemployed for 6 months due to visa issues. Honestly, it was AWESOME.

 

I visited places, went on hikes, played (several) computer games, read books, wrote stories, tried new cooking recipes, read trivia/encyclopedias, did window shopping, learnt programming, reconnected with old friends... It felt like I didn't have enough time for everything anyway.

 

I don't get how people can be bored without a job. If it weren't for the need to earn moolah, I probably would be happy not working all my life.

[Feelin Frisky]

You don't have to jump into sports. But why not start putting some exercise in your routine. All it takes is walking. Within a month or two you could be doing 5 or 6 miles a day, say, four times a week. It takes an hour an a half to go that distance. In addition to improving your figure and posture you will be oxygenating your brain which helps lift many people out of depression and other funks. Find a safe place or track--maybe use an I-pod and walk.