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dating a guy with kids


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So, I've been friend with a guy for about a year and a half. It's never been a secret that we're attracted to each other both on a physical and intellectual level. We've never pursued anything in the past because neither of us were ever single at the same time. I'm 24 and he's 27. He has two boys who are 5 and 3 which has never been a secret. He's very protective over who he lets meet his kids. Which is totally understandable. I spent the weekend with him and his boys as a friend and we hit it off almost immediately. (the kids and i) We both still have feelings for each other but i'm concerned about dating because of his sons. I understand that they will always come first and that there will always be baggage there and obstacles to how much time we can spend together. I'm just concerned about starting a relationship with him because of his boys. Any advice?

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I understand that they will always come first and that there will always be baggage there and obstacles to how much time we can spend together.

 

just answered ur own question.

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Other options? Baggage? Children are NOT baggage.. Unless he has sole custody and no one to baby sit, you are s.o.l. If he has shared custody with the babies' maternal parent, then you are set. Children are not baggage, I repeat.. but of course they come as #1.. You'll understand when you have kids of your own..

 

If you are understandable and like kids, it will work out.. Keep in mind at your age, if you are looking for an LTR with him and you WANT your own kids, if that is something he wants or not. In my case, with two children, I do not want any more kids; only b/c I it s.ucks not being with your kids all the time; and if I were to get married again and have a new set of kids and we end up divorced then it's 1-2 more kids with visitations, c/s payment to the parasitic moms, etc..

 

Getting along with his kids is major brownie points btw :bunny:

 

Give it a shot, good luck.,

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I dont understand people who are upset that single parents put their children first. I mean seriously?!?

 

Im not interested in people with children for various reasons, but them putting their children first is not it.

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They don't have to put their "children first" in a way that means they won't be able to have a relationship with another adult.

 

I have a daughter, and while I am married to her father, our relationship as husband and wife is still just as important as our role as parents, and our separate relationships with our daughter. We were partners before she came along, and while much has changed since then, we still go out on dates and spend time together as a couple.

 

You will be able to do that with this guy. If he hasn't got sole custody, it means you won't have to spend 24-7 with the kids. You will have lots of time to yourselves.

 

A balanced parent (ie one that is fulfilled in other areas of their life) is a happy parent. Happy parents = happy kids.

 

My ex (before H) had a son, and I ended up being very close to the son. It wasn't a huge deal, it was part of our R. The R ended for many reasons, but him being a father wasn't the main one. (He was an a$$!)

 

As another poster mentioned, I think something you really need to ask yourself is do you want your own children?

If you do, then you will need to know at some point whether this guy is prepared to have any more.

 

There are lots of posters on here who live with their partners who have children from other relationships, and many of those posters also have children from other Rs or with that partner.

 

It can work.

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