The self-proclaimed,self-employed workaholic

[irc333]

The "Cat and the Cradle" song today I heard on the radio reminded me of this......though it doesn't involve a father and son, but it involves, similarly, dating and relationships.

 

With people becoming "self-proclaimed" work-a-holics, they seem to put emphasis on this in regular conversation or a profile.

 

Like me, I work to live, not live to work....but I'm wondering why is it so important for those to do the latter?

 

There's also a saying out there, that on your gravestone that you do NOT want to be known as the "person was a hard worker", it was put in better words, so you get the picture.

 

 

I get a kick out of single people is it me...or do people enjoy coming off with having a seriously busy lifestyle that a future mate "must understand"?

 

I saw this profile of this woman in my local area, apparently her salary is 80K to 100K a year (saw it posted)....pretty much unheard of in an area where the common jobs are Walmart employees or restaurant servers or secretaries.

 

But, it can also be an area that's world reknowned for it's ONE thing, horse farms, horse training, horse raising, etc. She probably deals with wealthly clients and other hobknobs, yet in a city known for it's lower-middle class on downward, and her being upper-middle (is 80-100K considered upper-middle or upper?)....she might be geographically constrained and hindered. The wealthy men in my area are pretty much already taken, and are part of the elite ancesestry that grew up around here. They might as well be arranged marriages, even. Prom King and Queen had wealthy parents that donated to the the Highschool football boosters and donated to the school. The Prom King's parents knows the Prom Queens parents, and they're in this inner-sanctum of mucky-mucks that stuck together from generation to generation.

 

Where outsiders aren't allowed. To some, it could be a marriage of financial convenience.

 

Of course, you'll get an occasional outsider relocate to said area, and if they're single, well, they should've stayed in their town or they might be screwed if they're looking for the same thing.

 

Apparently, her job as a self-employed person is turning down horses, taking care of them until evening, and preparing for horse shows.

 

She's single, but of course, if anyone is a horse connoisseur, chances are she could be right?

 

Or is she deliberately making herself work hard than she really needs too? Her screen name has the word "prada" in it, but however, doesn't want to be considered arm candy to her future man, but someone with both beauty AND brains....and of course.....the ever common, "Must not have a problem with an independent woman". And proclaims more than once how much she "loves her job".

 

I've seen her pic, she's quite a lovely looking woman, one picture of her in the typical horse cap, in jockeying pose , galloping on a horse, with her hot butt sticking out in a the most exposed position. (Yowsa!)

 

Typically a woman like this would be out of place in the country, a single, gorgeous woman among a lot of toothless rednecks, elderly, or sea of people her age already spoken for. A big city girl, in hickville USA. Makes me wonder how long she's been single, because most people in hickville USA don't have much brains, much less appreciate them. lol

 

Do you think, in all this, that she's implying her mate will always come 2nd to her horses?

 

Though, in general, I've seen a lot of "career" women state how busy they are in their profiles, sometimes a little too much to be off-putting? But yet wants a serious relationship? What gives.....

 

This post could spin off into a nother post about how older, single people are just becoming more selfish, that they want a relationship, but yet cannot sacrifice certain things that require time with your mate.

 

To have your cake and eat it too, it's just won't happen.

 

Of course, this is just an example of one person that I had seen recently, there had been a trickle of ladies that were date-able that popped up online only to express, (I just moved here, where in the world are all the single guys" or "I just moved here, and had discovered it's hard meeting new people" - meaning single people.)

 

But going back to the topic at hand, about availabilty, while being so busy, why place an ad if you're so busy, why only date people when it's convenient to YOU? ("You" in general)

 

Ever have known people like this to have troubles with dating due to their careers. And the silly thing in all of it is, it's they're doing it by CHOICE, not because they're boss made them work till 8 pm either. That's the scarey thing.

 

Anyone care to enlighten if they know people like this? Do they somehow feel superior to those who have, say, a government job wherey ou only work from 8-5 (NOT work through your lunch break, being able to ENJOY your lunch), leave at 5, go home and chill the heck out?

 

Of course, that is a life mediocrity, is it not? But it could be a life of contentment as well? Would a person like the one I mentioned not be able to deal with someone with govt hours (weekends and holidays off), vs her...a person who probably works until past the sunset into the night? A person who probably loves even working weekends)

 

However, she says she loves her job, but me, I think in ANY job I was in, I'd abhore working weekends, regardless. I love my time off, and I can't figure out why anyone else wouldn't enjoy weekends off as well.

 

So, you're take on these kinds of personality, would they be comptaible with anyone?

 

If they found their "equal" in career and work, they wouldn't have time for each other, so it would be moot, right?

[Sarah1977]

Well, I'm a workaholic by choice. And I absolutely LOVE my job. It's my life's passion. It's what I felt I was put on this planet to do. I feel what I'm building with my business will be my legacy when I die. It's very, very, very important to me.

 

I think people who 'work to live' have a hard time understanding people like me. I'd do what I do for free. Why would I need 'time off' from something I love?

 

With that said, if I want time off to date, I can take it. I just have to schedule it in advance. Yes, it is a requirement for anyone I'm with to understand that's it's impossible for me to be 'last minute' or 'spontaneous' about dating. If this is not the sort of relationship they want, I completely understand. But it's all I'm willing to give.

 

If this means I end up alone, I'm honestly truly OK with that. My work brings me so many feelings of joy and accomplishment that I'd still consider my life one well lived.

[carhill]

Analysis paralysis

 

IMO, unless you're a psychologist, psychiatrist or majoring in the field, it's a gross waste of your time and energy to analyze such dynamics. The results are, at best, nebulous and will help very little in finding yourself a compatible mate. Alternatively, spend more time getting to know yourself, accepting yourself and seeing others as potentially complimentary to the positive aspects of who you are.

 

In this example, you apparently work to live and a workaholic lives to work. Incompatible. EOS. Next

[denise_xo]

Like me, I work to live, not live to work....but I'm wondering why is it so important for those to do the latter?

 

Anyone care to enlighten if they know people like this? Do they somehow feel superior to those who have, say, a government job wherey ou only work from 8-5 (NOT work through your lunch break, being able to ENJOY your lunch), leave at 5, go home and chill the heck out?

 

I am a 'workaholic' and spend several late evenings and weekends doing work (I am typing this from my office).

 

I feel no superiority at all towards people who have a 9-5 job. In many ways, they have a healthier balance to their lives. I do what I do because I love my work, I get emotionally involved in it, and I've had many phases in my life where I've had to put extra effort in to reach particular goals that I have set for myself. For the past year and a half, I've also had to hold down multiple jobs for financial reasons.

 

Since I'm not on an online dating site, I can't really speak to that part of your post.

 

People live their lives in different ways. The most important thing for a relationship is to look for compatibility.

[Woggle]

A person like that and I would not fit well together. I need my time to enjoy the fruits of my labor and the funny thing is that I tend to get more done than people who live for this job. I come in refreshed and ready to go while they are always stressed out and tired.

[irc333]

Analysis paralysis

 

IMO, unless you're a psychologist, psychiatrist or majoring in the field, it's a gross waste of your time and energy to analyze such dynamics. The results are, at best, nebulous and will help very little in finding yourself a compatible mate. Alternatively, spend more time getting to know yourself, accepting yourself and seeing others as potentially complimentary to the positive aspects of who you are.

 

In this example, you apparently work to live and a workaholic lives to work. Incompatible. EOS. Next

 

 

Actually, I'm trying to match your posts....lol....be flattered...(sincerely, I do like your responses, lol)

 

"the results, are at best, nebulous"....who talks like that? LOL

 

Quoting "Real Genius" when his cohort says, "You shall rue the day!" and his cohort says, "Rue?? Who talks like that??"

 

Just teasin'.

 

Raise of hands here, who chooses to work a typical 9-5 Govt job and LOVES that job just for THAT reason. I know I would.

 

 

People live their lives in different ways. The most important thing for a relationship is to look for compatibility.

 

Thing is though, would she be compitble with someone who MIRRORED her attitude towards their own job? Probably, but the paradox is this.....they would never have time for each other. *Twightlight Zone Music*

[threebyfate]

irc, do you know Bells? He apparently had a problem with horsey set women too.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2098004&highlight=horse#post2098004

 

Maybe this thread might remind you.

[Star Gazer]

Raise of hands here, who chooses to work a typical 9-5 Govt job and LOVES that job just for THAT reason. I know I would.

 

My hand is half raised.

 

I left private practice in part to leave the mandatory 70+ hour workweeks behind, actually get to take the vacations I've earned, and discontinue sacrificing things that were so important to me - working out time with friends being one of them. But I'm ITCHING to get back to work tomorrow, because I LOOOOVVVVEEEEE the work I do for the government, and if I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd still show up every day. And I still work longer than 9-to-5, because that's what I feel is necessary to get the job done and do it well. I don't take off when the proverbial bell rings.

 

In short, I still have the work ethic of someone in private practice, but I enjoy that it's not a requirement that I work as much as I did before.

 

As such, I'd never be compatible with those who work a typical 9-5 government job for that reason and that reason alone.

[Star Gazer]

irc, do you know Bells? He apparently had a problem with horsey set women too.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2098004&highlight=horse#post2098004

 

Maybe this thread might remind you.

 

You might not realize it, but they're the same person.

[threebyfate]

You might not realize it, but they're the same person.

Are they? That's astonishing!

[irc333]

You might not realize it, but they're the same person.

 

For the record, I forgot my login info, and established a new screen name. lol

 

If I can recall, there are similarities, however, that one woman was saying that the last guy dated, didn't care for helping her with her own horses so early in the morning AND expected her to give up her horses altogether.

 

She was thinking I would do the same to her. Which was not true. And she never claimed to be busy with work...and it she was a nurse I think, the horse thing was just a hobby.

 

This post is in the vein of just being too busy of a profession (be it the example) or being a lawyer, doctor, or other type of work that requires you to be busy (or not require, but yet you choose to be busy)

 

Now that I think about it, I knew of a woman that chose to go into work the DAY after Thanksgiving to "catch up on work", she was only one that was in the office. Man, get a life. lol

 

How about catching up on yardwork or going on a bike ride or hike or something, sheesh.

[irc333]

As such, I'd never be compatible with those who work a typical 9-5 government job for that reason and that reason alone.

 

Then who would you be compatible with?

[Star Gazer]

For the record, I forgot my login info, and established a new screen name. lol

 

You're also b52s.

[Star Gazer]

Then who would you be compatible with?

 

This thread isn't about me. But in short: Someone with a strong work ethic.

[irc333]

You're also b52s.

 

No, they're a band actually, right on one count, but not on the other.

[Star Gazer]

No, they're a band actually, right on one count, but not on the other.

 

Your user names are Bells, b52s, and irc333.

[irc333]

This thread isn't about me. But in short: Someone with a strong work ethic.

 

Not really, it's more about how can someone who claims to have no time to date anyone due to limited time, but yet places a personal ad.

 

It's about this kind of person even being a good candidate for a long-term relationship....or compatibilty, if it's even possible with the other person.

 

Your user names are Bells, b52s, and irc333.

 

Sorry, but you're wrong, I was never b52s

[Star Gazer]

Sorry, but you're wrong, I was never b52s

 

Then why did Bells respond and say he was??

[irc333]

Your user names are Bells, b52s, and irc333.

 

 

Anyhow, this is not about usernames, so let's stay on topic.

[threebyfate]

For the record, I forgot my login info, and established a new screen name. lol

 

If I can recall, there are similarities, however, that one woman was saying that the last guy dated, didn't care for helping her with her own horses so early in the morning AND expected her to give up her horses altogether.

 

She was thinking I would do the same to her. Which was not true. And she never claimed to be busy with work...and it she was a nurse I think, the horse thing was just a hobby.

 

This post is in the vein of just being too busy of a profession (be it the example) or being a lawyer, doctor, or other type of work that requires you to be busy (or not require, but yet you choose to be busy)

 

Now that I think about it, I knew of a woman that chose to go into work the DAY after Thanksgiving to "catch up on work", she was only one that was in the office. Man, get a life. lol

 

How about catching up on yardwork or going on a bike ride or hike or something, sheesh.

Don't know how many millions of times it has to be said on LS that people MAKE time for those they want to date or have a relationship with.

 

You can go 'round and 'round and 'round trying to put others in a bad light who have rejected you but it all amounts to the same thing. They make time for what or who they prioritize.

[Star Gazer]

Don't know how many millions of times it has to be said on LS that people MAKE time for those they want to date or have a relationship with.

 

You can go 'round and 'round and 'round trying to put others in a bad light who have rejected you but it all amounts to the same thing. They make time for what or who they prioritize.

 

EXACTLY RIGHT. And if they're not making time for you, they just don't like you.

[threebyfate]

EXACTLY RIGHT. And if they're not making time for you, they just don't like you.

Truly. The thread I linked was dated March 2009 which was over a year and half ago. It's time to stop obsessing about someone who you've never dated, Bells. Move on. She wasn't interested.

[irc333]

EXACTLY RIGHT. And if they're not making time for you, they just don't like you.

 

So if a woman says IN her profile (which is read by ALL men), "I am a busy woman, so you better understand my career is important to me, so I might not have time to date you."

 

That means she doesn't like any men? LOL Funny.

 

It's a rhetorical question, see, she's saying it to ALL men that read it, not just the ones she's NOT interested in.

[Star Gazer]

So if a woman says IN her profile (which is read by ALL men), "I am a busy woman, so you better understand my career is important to me, so I might not have time to date you."

 

That means she doesn't like any men? LOL Funny.

 

No, it means she's going to be selective and will not waste her time with a guy she doesn't know if she's into. She doesn't have the time to do so, as a woman who works at Walmart does.

 

And please stop quoting someone's profile for analysis here. It's bad enough when you used to link to it, but quoting it is just as bad because it can be easily found.

[pandagirl]

Yes, someone will make time for you if want to.

 

But, also, as Carhill said, it's all about compatibility.

 

For some people, career/work is more important than anything else. That doesn't mean these types won't be in relationships and get married and have families, but they're also the people who aren't home a lot, miss their kids birthdays, and often put their partner and family on the back burner.

 

My ex had these tendencies. I remember once we got into a little argument about scheduling time together, because he was so busy with work, and he said to me, "I need someone who understands how I am."

 

Personally, having been through the career grind already in my 20s, I don't ever want to go back to weekends at the desk and late hours in the office.