This girl I like is thinking about sleeping with another guy...

[quaid821]

Hi everybody--

 

I need some advice.

 

I'm 24...in college now after a few years in the Army. I work at a restaurant and a really cute 19 year old girl started working there about 6 months ago. We flirted from the start, but it started to get more serious about 2 months ago after we had a really deep several hour conversation on a slow night at work.

 

Anyway, we've been hanging out more and more, we've had sex a few times, and for the last few weeks she's been spending 3-4 nights a week at my apartment.

 

I know she likes me a lot because she always wants to be here...and when she's here she is always trying to get me to sit or lay or get close to her in any way...if it were up to her we would just lay on the couch all day kissing every once and a while and staring at each other. (funny, thats exactly what I remember wanting to do with my girlfriend when I was her age)

 

I haven't had a girlfriend since high school, so it has taken me a little while to realize that I have developed pretty strong feelings for her. Recently I've been debating asking her to be my girlfriend...although somewhat nervously.

 

So here's my dilemma:

She was here last night and left her phone here. I wanted to text her sister to let her know it was safe...but she had her sis listed with a nickname so it wasn't easy to figure out who it was...and in the process I saw some texts I sortof wish I hadn't.

 

Last week she exchanged texts with a girlfriend and told her that she thought she was going to have sex with another guy (he's almost 30) from work any day now and that it was going to be amazing.

 

Now...I'm not the type of guy to go snooping...but once I saw the first message like that I read back into the texts with that one girlfriend because who could stop themselves.

 

It's not as if we had any commitment...and she hasn't done it yet apparently. She's coming back over tonight...and I am thinking about telling her how I feel and asking her to be exclusive with me. I don't really want to tell her I saw those texts...but I'm afraid she will sense that I'm sortof upset about something.

 

In a way my reaction to seeing this has made me realize how strongly I feel for her. I'm jealous, but definately not angry. I of course don't want her to do that because I think I'm falling for her.

 

What should I do?

[quaid821]

I just saw the subforum of cheating/jealousy...sorry if I should've put this in there but I was to focused on my problem...

[hoping2heal]

Hi everybody--

 

I need some advice.

 

I'm 24...in college now after a few years in the Army. I work at a restaurant and a really cute 19 year old girl started working there about 6 months ago. We flirted from the start, but it started to get more serious about 2 months ago after we had a really deep several hour conversation on a slow night at work.

 

Anyway, we've been hanging out more and more, we've had sex a few times, and for the last few weeks she's been spending 3-4 nights a week at my apartment.

 

I know she likes me a lot because she always wants to be here...and when she's here she is always trying to get me to sit or lay or get close to her in any way...if it were up to her we would just lay on the couch all day kissing every once and a while and staring at each other. (funny, thats exactly what I remember wanting to do with my girlfriend when I was her age)

 

I haven't had a girlfriend since high school, so it has taken me a little while to realize that I have developed pretty strong feelings for her. Recently I've been debating asking her to be my girlfriend...although somewhat nervously.

 

So here's my dilemma:

She was here last night and left her phone here. I wanted to text her sister to let her know it was safe...but she had her sis listed with a nickname so it wasn't easy to figure out who it was...and in the process I saw some texts I sortof wish I hadn't.

 

Last week she exchanged texts with a girlfriend and told her that she thought she was going to have sex with another guy (he's almost 30) from work any day now and that it was going to be amazing.

 

Now...I'm not the type of guy to go snooping...but once I saw the first message like that I read back into the texts with that one girlfriend because who could stop themselves.

 

It's not as if we had any commitment...and she hasn't done it yet apparently. She's coming back over tonight...and I am thinking about telling her how I feel and asking her to be exclusive with me. I don't really want to tell her I saw those texts...but I'm afraid she will sense that I'm sortof upset about something.

 

In a way my reaction to seeing this has made me realize how strongly I feel for her. I'm jealous, but definately not angry. I of course don't want her to do that because I think I'm falling for her.

 

What should I do?

 

Hurry up and run like hell while you still have a chance. Just kidding..kind of.

 

Here's the thing about young girls these days. Not all, but most are flighty, selfish, very immature. It is not uncommon for them to have these "amazing connections" with one guy and go on and repeat it with someone else. It's all about the moment, what is fun at the moment. This girl does not really seem to be much of an exception to that.

 

Now, granted not every man who wants a girlfriend is looking for marriage/seriousness either. So, I guess it depends on what you want out of the relationship. If you just want someone to call your main squeeze but have no plans to get serious..as it could be several years before she grows up and matures, then might as well ask her.

 

I find it strange that she uses "code names" for people. Kind of makes me think she has a habit of being dishonest/sneaky..could be wrong but I'd be a little weary of that one.

[quaid821]

true...and I'm not the type of unrealistic romantic to expect to spend the rest of my life with this girl. but she is not a stereotypically flirty/ditzy 19yo...she is considerably more mature and that's what I like about her. We get along well and our personalities compliment each other well and I'm not trying to make the situation more than it is.

 

As for the codenames...it appears that her sister and all her girlfriends are in there as their nicknames...but none of the guys, not even the one in question, are disguised

[welikeincrowds]

Dude, didn't that hurt your feelings?

 

Your instinct is to try and tie her down I see. Jealousy is the fear of loss to a rival. One way to combat jealousy is to no longer fear the loss; the other is to try and combat the rival.

 

Of course, combating the rival never works, because it's not the rival, it's the girl who was looking other places.

 

I dunno, man. I don't see why you shouldn't just walk away from this. It's a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.