Charliesangel21 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Here is my dilema: I started dating new guy about a month ago who I met while on vacation with some friends - he lives about an hour away from me. When back from vacation, he reached out to me to get together for dinner - which we did & had a great time. Hung out again a couple of days later, all the while I let him take the lead - he initiated the calls, dates, etc. He went out of the country for 2 weeks for work and before he left we made a plan to get together and meet up in another city for an overnight - my plan was/is get my own hotel room because we still are gettng to know each other. Up to this point, all that we've done is kissed. The first week he was out of the country I got calls or texts everyday. The 2nd week, he texted a few times, no calls. He arrived back in town Friday and tried to call me from airport - I didn't answer because I am feeliing a little miffed & disconnected because I hadn't heard from him all week (except texts). He texted me the next day to ask what time I would be arriving for our out of town date (which is tonight). Please tell me if I'm being overly sensitive, dramatic, etc., but I am having a hard time with the fact that he didn't call for a week, still hasn't spoken to me since he's been back & just assumes our date is still on. Should I go or cancel? Help is greatly appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Please tell me if I'm being overly sensitive, dramatic, etc., but I am having a hard time with the fact that he didn't call for a week, still hasn't spoken to me since he's been back & just assumes our date is still on. Should I go or cancel? Help is greatly appreciated! I'm not sure. My instinct advises me to tell you to break off the date - the poor guy doesn't deserve the stress you give him. On the other hand, if you manage to get a grip on yourself, you might still try it with him, maybe he is the tolerant type. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Charliesangel21 Posted October 31, 2010 Author Share Posted October 31, 2010 "Get a grip on yourself" "Maybe he is the tolerant type"...thank you kindly for the reply but I think I'll rely on advice from someone who is perhaps less irritable than yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 I agree with Utterer. The poor guy has done nothing wrong. You are irritated with him for not calling you enough but what effort have you made? You won't even return his calls. Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 "Get a grip on yourself" "Maybe he is the tolerant type"...thank you kindly for the reply but I think I'll rely on advice from someone who is perhaps less irritable than yourself. That's your prerogative. My first reply was harsh because your behavior is totally inappropriate. Still...look. He does not have ANY obligation to you. He texted you multiple times and called you multiple times in the last two weeks, and you didn't take his call on purpose, are even thinking of breaking off the date. This is borderline psycho behavior. You are overly possessive and controlling. It's not a good thing. Yes, he 'just assumes the date is still on'. And why wouldn't he? He didn't do anything wrong, he did many things right and you are making a problem out of nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 Agree with everyone else. The guy has done nothing wrong. If you canceled the date you would be doing the guy a big favor, unless you can do as utterer said and get a grip on yourself beforehand. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 31, 2010 Share Posted October 31, 2010 OP, what I'm sensing is that you are not really 'into' this man. Therefore, it is likely better for both of you if you cancel your meetup and move on. For people who barely know each other, and, as you put it so clearly, have only kissed, IMO you are expecting an inappropriate amount of attention and care. If you were married or BF/GF, then sure, it's normal to talk all the time (both parties initiating) but then you also would likely be more 'comfortable' with your relationship dynamic and silences wouldn't be huge red flags. In my personal experience, every woman with whom I have had experiences like described in the OP, where they 'cancel' on me without apparent reason, in hindsight, were broken in some way. I just didn't see the signs. Healthy women, if not sufficiently interested, don't make the plans because, at this early stage, they would IMO be inappropriate, or cancel only because of extraordinary reasons or circumstances. I can respect that. I will test this hypothesis again in three weeks. Life is an adventure. Hope it works out Link to post Share on other sites
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