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Being blown off??


swan_song

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I met a guy at a party earlier this month. I felt we hit it off and we spent the night chatting - very casually flirty vibe - and it was just a very comfortable and fun. Nothing happened, but the next day we hung out with some of his friends and a mutual friend of ours. Again, an easy, fun day, and we find that we have a good amount in common, so he suggests that we get together to do certain things together in the near future.

 

Our first attempt to get together that coming week didn't work out so well. We are both lawyers and it can be almost impossible to make plans during the weekdays. The next Friday he texts me, invites me out for a drink with his friends, I meet up with him, the evening unfolds, we end up sleeping together... not exactly part of the plan (or MY plan, anyway, as I have never slept with someone I'm not dating)... but not a big deal. I leave the next morning as I have brunch plans with friends. We tentatively plan to get together later on in the weekend, but thanks to work, end up not being able to do so.

 

Wednesday or Thursday the next week, I leave him a voicemail to say hi. He calls back on Friday, we catch up a bit on our weeks, but I'm tied up at work and unable to go out. As I knew he was heading out of town Saturday and Sunday, I suggested something the next week, to which he said "definitely, let's get together the next week."

 

Fast-forward to the following week! I am crunched at work all week, so I send him a text late Thursday. He replies to say he'd "hopefully" like to get together Saturday for a drink, but on Saturday, texts to say he can't, but that we should try to go to a museum the next week (which we'd talked about earlier).

 

As you can guess, this next attempt didn't pan out so well either. I leave him a voicemail on Thursday night. He calls back Friday mid-afternoon, we chat and catch up on our weeks, but then says he isn't sure if he can make it to the museum this weekend because of his work schedule. But suggests, if not this weekend, then "next week". Argh!

 

At this point... I don't get the direct sense he's blowing me off, but I could be wrong. Needless to say, it's a little frustrating. I know his schedule is similar to mine, which means neither of us get out during the week and it can be difficult to have a clear idea of weekend schedule. I've dated lawyers before and have found that it can be difficult to coordinate two sets of fairly unpredictable schedules. It doesn't bother me that he doesn't call during the week, if only because I'm generally stressed out, a bit cranky, and not sure if I'd have anything to talk about with him besides work.

 

What are your thoughts? I was thinking of maybe just asking him out to coffee and catching up a bit in person. We haven't really talked about what happened, when we hooked up, but I would like to do so. If he's not interested, I would definitely prefer to know sooner than later. I can't tell if he's definitely NOT interested at this point, since he does call me back promptly and continues to suggest that we get together, even though we haven't been able to execute any of our plans.

Edited by swan_song
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Tim The Enchanter

I appreciate that some people can be really busy - I know I can - but I still think if there is a strong interest there, the person will make time. I mean, it only has to be a few seconds to send a text. How often do we make time for things like coffee, smoking etc? I believe even lawyers get some free time.

 

Same goes for actually meeting. If I really like someone, I would do my utmost to try and fit them into my schedule.

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I appreciate that some people can be really busy - I know I can - but I still think if there is a strong interest there, the person will make time. I mean, it only has to be a few seconds to send a text. How often do we make time for things like coffee, smoking etc? I believe even lawyers get some free time.

 

Same goes for actually meeting. If I really like someone, I would do my utmost to try and fit them into my schedule.

 

True, but occasionally I've gone weeks without seeing ANY friends, simply because of an unrelenting 7 day work schedule that leaves me too tired to even want to see anyone. And this IS even when I'm trying my best to "fit in" a friend or two. If I'm contemplating a date and overworked that week, it's VERY stressful for me because I worry that I will leave a terrible impression. It definitely sucks, but it's how it is.

 

Why bother calling me back then? or suggesting something the next week? It would be so much easier not to reply than to be responsive "to be nice", but not actually meet up with me.

Edited by swan_song
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he is a flake. You initiated twice, he has blown you out twice. Maybe he is hoping you will lose interest, maybe he is unreliable. Either way, he has had his chance. Don't contact him again.

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