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genuine or a PLAYERRR? :( PPP


Caren

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Okay so this guy ive been seeing for about 2 months now...

He's 20. Goodlooking, broad and tall.

We got reallyyy close in about a month and now we're at a point where we're deciding where this is going...since i wanna take my time. But he said how he's ready to be in a relationship with me. He tries to take care of when im sick and gets angry when I eat something that im not supposed to eat while im sick. He lets me check his facebook, msn and his phone. Likeee..i read all the msgs and whatever i have to do. He says how he can picture this relationship working really well and he really wants me to be by his side foreverr. But at the same time, we're moving too fast when it comes to physical stuff..

I would say that we're already on the 2nd base..and I am not too happy about this. Because I dont know if he really is genuine or just faking it. And then he introduces me to his friends and tells his friends that he's seeing a girl. He's really friendly with my friends too.

And he has a bunch of friends who are girls, but I have seen their conversations and they talk as "close buddies" and all of those girls have bfs.

Another thing I have noticed about him is that he doesnt try compliment me all the time but when he does..I know he really really means it.

And we talk all the time on the phone, text or msn and likeee i know what he's doing and who he's with all the time. We try to meet every single day, but cause of school thats sometimes not possible.

 

So the only reason maybe i feel that he's might be bullcrapping all of this is cause he's moving too fast physically..and btw he claims that he's a virgin. I am a virgin too.

And he has been with 3 girls before me, and his longest relationship was for 4 months and it was somehow long distance.

 

SOOO i really want you guys to help me out on this one. I am confused and i dont know whats exactly going through his mind. :( Do you guys think he's genuine or a player?

 

PS: Seeing a girl means he refers to me as the girl he's seeing :)

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Hmmm.

I'm a little on the fence about this one.

 

 

Let's start with you first.

Don't take this the wrong way, please, but you're coming across as being a little needy. You check his FB & phone, etc?

"I know where he is all the time, and who he is with.."

Do you actually ask to check these things?

 

 

Now, him.

This is where I'm struggling. He sounds a bit too good to be true, I must admit. But you know, there ARE genuine people out there. He could be one of them. And if he is, you don't want to lose him by being paranoid and skeptical about everything he says and does.

 

My advice?

Just play it cool. See where it ends up. Don't go searching for "red flags" or problems that aren't there, but just be wary.

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What's considered second base again? :laugh:

 

I'm a little weirded out by your possessiveness. Do you have to check all his social profiles and do you honestly, spy on his every move?

 

Even if you're not trying to, I can't help but imagine that you're suffocating this guy with your actions.

 

I do understand that you do not want to be " played" but this is absolutely not the way to go about it.

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Hmmm.

I'm a little on the fence about this one.

 

 

Let's start with you first.

Don't take this the wrong way, please, but you're coming across as being a little needy. You check his FB & phone, etc?

"I know where he is all the time, and who he is with.."

Do you actually ask to check these things?

 

 

Now, him.

This is where I'm struggling. He sounds a bit too good to be true, I must admit. But you know, there ARE genuine people out there. He could be one of them. And if he is, you don't want to lose him by being paranoid and skeptical about everything he says and does.

 

My advice?

Just play it cool. See where it ends up. Don't go searching for "red flags" or problems that aren't there, but just be wary.

 

 

Umm okay i am not being needy cuz i never asked him to show me his fb or msn or even his phone. He just checks it all infront of me and there are times when Im just playing games on his phone and he receives a msg. He just asks me to read it out without really caring who its from. So the point I was trying to make there was that..he comes of as a guy who doesnt have anything to hide. But then again, is that clear enough to show that a guy is actually genuine?

 

And I just wanted to know why he's moving too fast with physical stuff? That's what I was tryna get at..that him moving too fast physically makes me wanna think that he's a player :(

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What's considered second base again? :laugh:

 

I'm a little weirded out by your possessiveness. Do you have to check all his social profiles and do you honestly, spy on his every move?

 

Even if you're not trying to, I can't help but imagine that you're suffocating this guy with your actions.

 

I do understand that you do not want to be " played" but this is absolutely not the way to go about it.

 

 

I am not being possessive at all. Its not like i asked him not to hang out with girls and whatnot. I mean as long as he doesnt cross his limits.

 

and umm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex

there you go! if you were serious about not knowing what second base actually is..

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You are dating a good looking, tall, hunky guy, and has been with you for 2 months, you meet nearly every day and has not had sex with you yet, and you are worried he's a player?? :confused:

My feeling is he is not a player, and I'd be a little surprised he's still a virgin at 20, but its entirely possible.

I also agree with xpapercutx + Allisha as regards going easy on the snooping given that he has not given you a good reason yet not to trust him.

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For 99% of guys, 2+ months to get to second base is extremely sloooooooooooow. In my opinion, he's not moving too fast, rather he is being extremely patient. He's not a player, I don't think you have anything to worry about at all.

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For 99% of guys, 2+ months to get to second base is extremely sloooooooooooow. In my opinion, he's not moving too fast, rather he is being extremely patient. He's not a player, I don't think you have anything to worry about at all.

 

Agreed... two months is a pretty long time though I imagine you're pretty young and being careful. From what I've read sound like a good thing at the moment.

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