She wanted to be friends, but it hurt me too much. Was I wrong?

[haveyopick1]

Met a woman and we really hit it off. She was super attractive and her friend told me she thought I was "hot" too. One problem: She has a boyfriend. She said she like me, but could only be "friends for now" with me due to the fact she was dating someone.

 

I tried. We went out as "buddies" twice. But my instincts wanted to take over. It was like torture, seeing what I could have, yet couldnt have at the same time.

 

I told her that I liked her alot but I could no longer be her friend, because I found her to be too attractive. She did not reply to my text. Its been a week.

 

I feel like a heel. She was and is a great woman. I dont mean just physically, I mean everything. Wonderful personality. I feel like a bad person for what I did.

 

It was just so hard. I remember she texted saying she wanted to hang with me next time with her BOYFRIEND tagging along. Thats when I realized I couldnt do this anymore.

 

Was I wrong? Am I a jerk?

[Untouchable_Fire]

Met a woman and we really hit it off. She was super attractive and her friend told me she thought I was "hot" too. One problem: She has a boyfriend. She said she like me, but could only be "friends for now" with me due to the fact she was dating someone.

I tried. We went out as "buddies" twice. But my instincts wanted to take over. It was like torture, seeing what I could have, yet couldnt have at the same time.

I told her that I liked her alot but I could no longer be her friend, because I found her to be too attractive. She did not reply to my text. Its been a week.

I feel like a heel. She was and is a great woman. I dont mean just physically, I mean everything. Wonderful personality. I feel like a bad person for what I did.

It was just so hard. I remember she texted saying she wanted to hang with me next time with her BOYFRIEND tagging along. Thats when I realized I couldnt do this anymore.

Was I wrong? Am I a jerk?

 

Your wrong to pursue her. Not being her friend is totally cool especially if you can't handle it.

 

Seriously trying to pull off Grand Theft Girlfriend is a douche move!

 

So, your right if you can't respect her BF, then just walk away.

[haveyopick1]

Your wrong to pursue her. Not being her friend is totally cool especially if you can't handle it.

 

Seriously trying to pull off Grand Theft Girlfriend is a douche move!

 

So, your right if you can't respect her BF, then just walk away.

 

I wasnt trying to steal her. My plan was to be her buddy until she broke up with her boyfriend. But of course waiting around for that to happen is a terribble idea for so many reasons. The main one being it usually NEVER works lol. Even if she broke it off with him, by then, Id probably be such a good "friend" she would say something like "I dont wanna ruin our friendship, lets not go out!".

 

Honestly I dont care about her boyfriend. Im sure he doesnt care about me, so why would I care about him? I just couldnt do it because it was hurting me too much.

[EasyHeart]

Honestly I dont care about her boyfriend. Im sure he doesnt care about me, so why would I care about him? I just couldnt do it because it was hurting me too much.

There's your answer. You did the right thing. Why would you want to subject yourself to all that emotional pain while pretending to be her "friend"? Besides, you'd probably end up acting weird around her because of all the internal drama you'd be going through, and she'd end up thinking you're a douchebag.

 

I'd suggest keeping in some kind of contact with her, though. You want to know when she gets rid of her loser boyfriend and is ready for a real man.

[tincanman99]

You did the right thing by telling her you cant be friends if it bothers you that much.

 

Though I have to say this, the very fact that she admits she was attracted to you and encouraged you tells me she was lining you up to be her next playmate.

 

People do this a lot. They line up their next boyfriend/girlfriend while still dating the current person. That way when they fire the current person, they just swing to the next person.

 

I know this is not going to be popular for what I am about to say but if you like her I would not let the fact she has a boyfriend discourage you. They are NOT married so all is fair in love and war.

 

If you want her go get her. And its not being a douche, its part of life. Everybody competes to get what they want.

[Tim The Enchanter]

There's your answer. You did the right thing. Why would you want to subject yourself to all that emotional pain while pretending to be her "friend"? Besides, you'd probably end up acting weird around her because of all the internal drama you'd be going through, and she'd end up thinking you're a douchebag.

 

I'd suggest keeping in some kind of contact with her, though. You want to know when she gets rid of her loser boyfriend and is ready for a real man.

 

I would say to not bother contacting her at all. Let her come to him if she really wants him.