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Flatmate


bolase

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Hi all,

 

I am looking for advice. I have a crush on my Christian flatmate. Before you write this off as a disaster, I'm not going to do anything drastic..I just want to test the waters and se whether he has any interest in me, in that way.

 

Firstly we've been living together for 2 months but both absent a great deal.. secondly, I believe in god but am not at all Christian, or religious as such, while he studied Theology, teaches it and is church-going, into all that stuff as a Christian. Despite that we have heaps in common and get along so well, he's one of the most lovely and interesting people I've met, while at home.

 

When I am around him and his Christian friends however something shifts; he doesn't introduce me, he becomes quite quiet and withdraws from normal conversation with me - I don't find them that friendly towards me either.

 

Normally, as (I daresay..) an attractive girl I know when a guy is keen on me, but with this one, to me the feelings are there and the bond growing but he's just so wholesome, I don't know what signals to looks for.

 

How can I test whether he's interested in me like that? Thanks :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Blah blah god-whatever - that ISN'T the issue. The thing you should be worried about is the high degree of potential awkwardness and drama in sleeping with a person you're living with.

 

It's common. I've done it. It SUCKS when you break up and you can't even avoid the person. And then you've got to deal with the stress of moving on top of going through a breakup. Bad idea. But if you're into each other it's probably going to happen regardless, or in the very least there'll be weird tension/jealousy. My advice? Move out and find an unattractive roomie. Then hit on this guy. :>)

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Okay, I misread. You're not physically or any other way involved with him.

You said you were "living" with him so I assumed all that goes along with unmarried couples and what they do without a ring or promise to get married.

 

I wouldn't necessarily run away from him.

If you like him, you could develop a relationship with him.

 

As this guy's a Christian, that usually means he'd be more loyal so you wouldn't have to worry about him cheating or getting an STD or doing a lot of other things you might not want had you dated a non-believer.

 

Those kind of guys tend to put the woman's needs first than their own sexual gratification, so you shouldn't feel like you would be used and therefore might experience a better kind of relationship.

 

Just my thoughts.

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BackUpOrGetStung

"As this guy's a Christian, that usually means he'd be more loyal so you wouldn't have to worry about him cheating or getting an STD or doing a lot of other things you might not want had you dated a non-believer. "

 

This statement is utterly ridiculous and laughable.

 

This guy has already shown that while he may like you, he will treat you differently in front of other people, and is probably ashamed that you're not "like him". Christians are, by far, the most judgmental group of people I've ever encountered, and while it sounds like he accepts you as person, it doesn't seem like he wants to accept that "other" part of you. Perhaps he is just not ready, or is still trying to figure out his own feelings.

 

Have you two discussed your religions?

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"As this guy's a Christian, that usually means he'd be more loyal so you wouldn't have to worry about him cheating or getting an STD or doing a lot of other things you might not want had you dated a non-believer. "

 

This statement is utterly ridiculous and laughable.

 

This guy has already shown that while he may like you, he will treat you differently in front of other people, and is probably ashamed that you're not "like him". Christians are, by far, the most judgmental group of people I've ever encountered, and while it sounds like he accepts you as person, it doesn't seem like he wants to accept that "other" part of you. Perhaps he is just not ready, or is still trying to figure out his own feelings.

 

Have you two discussed your religions?

I said USUALLY and TEND TO.

 

You generalized in your attack and your judgementalism shows how you apply your experience as a broad brush to a very large and diverse group.

Very tolerant there.

Edited by Floridaman
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