Changing or cancelling First Date - best way

[alexlakeman]

I've had a sudden financial crisis will have to fine tune my entertainment budget for the next few months

 

Problem now is I had 3 First dates lined up, and 2 more to follow up with for first dates next.

 

I got one 1st date tonight. We had planned to go to a happy hour , but I need to change it to something CHEAPER, ie Starbucks. I don't want to burn this opportunity, so what would u accept as an exuse to change d first date venue from happy hour / bar / alcohol to a boring Starbucks. I hate coffee / starbucks but u can only drink so much coffee right? Lol

 

The date I have 4 tommorrow is at a Barnes & Noble, so that shouldn't be too bad, might not have to cancel it. Friday's is lunch, so I need to cancel that one until next week.

 

Any ideas what would be acceptable? I travel for business and just got back from England Sunday, so I can just say I had to hop back on a plane and that will give me somebreathing room.

 

Thoughts?

 

As to why I lined up so many First dates at once, it just happened. These are from my Match account

 

Tks

[welikeincrowds]

Why not just "I had a prior engagement that I had forgotten about, but I still want to see you. Can you do earlier?" "OK, great, we'll get coffee instead. See you at _______."

 

The details aren't important. All that matters is that you want to see her.

[Art_Critic]

Why not just "I had a prior engagement that I had forgotten about, but I still want to see you. Can you do earlier?" "OK, great, we'll get coffee instead. See you at _______."

 

The details aren't important. All that matters is that you want to see her.

 

Perfect !.....

[DontWorryBHappy]

Listen to the above advice. I promise you that if you try to push back the dates the women in question might think you are flaky. I probably would.

[Cee]

I think it's pretty normal to have a lot of first dates clustered in a week. Then things thin out once people drop off over successive dates. So I don't think there's anything to judge.

 

But yeah, dating gets expensive. Pace yourself. You'll go broke in no time.

 

Downgrading happy hour to Starbucks doesn't sound like a good call. A caffeine buzz is not the same as the glowy feeling of a drink. Here's a couple suggestions:

 

1) Buy a bottle of wine or a six pack & have your date in a park or other scenic place. I don't know where you live, but that would work in a lot of places. You can say you want to be outdoors. Don't know where you live, but it's supposed to be warm in the Northeast.

 

2) Check the paper for free or low cost entertainment events. Thursdays are usually a big day for events.

 

3) Take her to a cool diner. The meal won't cost much at all.

 

4) If you need to go the coffee route, try an independent coffee or tea house. They are more cozy.

 

5) Art openings are the ultimate cheap date. No admission & free wine and cheese. Check your local listings.

 

Just my thoughts. Some of my best dates cost very little.

[SilentVoice]

I agree with the first advice giving .. never push something to a later date.

 

But coffee seems more reasonalbe and coffee on a first date ,too me , is never a good idea.

 

Best if luck

[alexlakeman]

Good ideas. For tonight's I'm going to wait to nearly 5 pm so it's a last minute change and tell her I have some business visitors and will have to meet with them later in the evening.

 

 

Friday's lunch date I'll could use a similar last minute date change. "I'm going to be tied up with visitors today, but still want to see you. Do you mind if we do Starbuck's vs lunch and just grab some coffee since I need to get back in a shorter time?"

 

Hmm, next weeks' I might as well start off the bat with the Starbucks date. Man, this would only happen to me, lol, I talk so much crap about coffee dates, and now I'm d one resorting to them. For next weeks' dates I'll look at some of the other suggestions

 

It's just that my comfort zone is at a bar, a drink to relax, and some music. Ugghh.

 

Ladies on here would thisbe OK with you?

[Cee]

Good ideas. For tonight's I'm going to wait to nearly 5 pm so it's a last minute change and tell her I have some business visitors and will have to meet with them later in the evening.

 

 

Friday's lunch date I'll could use a similar last minute date change. "I'm going to be tied up with visitors today, but still want to see you. Do you mind if we do Starbuck's vs lunch and just grab some coffee since I need to get back in a shorter time?"

 

Hmm, next weeks' I might as well start off the bat with the Starbucks date. Man, this would only happen to me, lol, I talk so much crap about coffee dates, and now I'm d one resorting to them. For next weeks' dates I'll look at some of the other suggestions

 

It's just that my comfort zone is at a bar, a drink to relax, and some music. Ugghh.

 

Ladies on here would thisbe OK with you?

 

I'm not liking the sound of this at all. You are not only "cheapifying" all the dates, but making them less special. Can't you come up with some better than Starbucks? How bout a walk in the park and getting ice cream?

 

I usually give the benefit of the doubt with dates, but I'd be disappointed if I was expecting drinks and getting coffee. It really does take the same amount of time to have one drink so I'd think you wanted to get rid of me fast.

 

But I know this is your plan so go do it. But bring your A game and be as attentive and charming as possible.

 

P.S. As a fellow dater, I wish you good luck on your mission of 5 dates in 7 days. I'll be curious to see how it works out for you. Keep us posted.

Edited September 22, 2010 by Cee

[alexlakeman]

Believe me I'm not feeling good about this at all. It wasn't planned this way and it's not like I'm trying to cheapen the date for d heck of it. I just came up to a financial crisis issue (NOT unemployed thank god), so it's legit. I'm the first one that has always said that I have fun on d date so don't mind spending the $

 

I agree on the 5 dates being too much. And I haven't even responded or called a few other girls that had an interest . And the one I was talking to last week, I dropped. They all just piled up at once.