p0w3r Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Put it bluntly: she was a b!tch who took advantage of me and used me while we were together. I thought I loved her and so I wouldn't mind sacrificing all kinds of things for her even without getting much in return. Truth to be told, I bought and did all this and that for her and she didn't do too much for me in return. She's written a letter to me saying shes sorry but then tried to push the blame on me later on in that letter. But she was the only and only person in the relationship who ruined the relationship. Now I feel like writing a letter to her saying how much she had ruined my life and how much of a B1TCH she was while I loved her and how much of a a@@hole she was to me and how I hated what she did to me and how lame she was. Should I? (shes a drama queen so, either, she feels bad about what she did, or, she could gain a sense of self-satisfaction about what how I was affected by her) Link to post Share on other sites
Bogo123 Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 No. Not responding and moving on is the best thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
GooseChaser Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 You can write the letter but then not send it. It's a good way to get your feelings out. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Moving and being happy without her is the better way. Her type hates that more than anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Lemontang Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Dude, no don't. I've been down this track and you'll achieve nothing in doing so. An ex of mine in short used me as a roof over her head and a baby sitter to her daughter whilst she went around sleeping with other guys and wiping herself out on a weekly basis drinking, then coming to me for money because she couldn't afford her childcare or her car payments, when I was paying all the bills and my own house mortgage. Needless to say I felt worthless after going through all that and even wrote a letter to her about how could she comprehend what she'd done to us and her daughter and that she should seek help. Knowing that she treated the letter like a joke to her friends killed me (her friends on the other hand agreed she needed help). But I did one day choose to just simply man up and move on with my life. I wasn't going to waste it at home feeling sorry for myself. You choose your own path and even though you may stray off it from time to time, it's up to you to get back on it. I did just that and I've been having a fantastic time dating other people since. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 I know this is a bit off topic but this is why us men need to look for women who already have their heads screwed on straight instead of trying to be a knight in shining armor. Most of the drama in their life is of their own doing and they only use us to continue the cycle. If a woman can run other areas of her life well then there is a better chance that will apply to a relationship as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Meh. It seems like you just won't follow our advice at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
that girl Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Put it bluntly: she was a b!tch who took advantage of me and used me while we were together. No, she isn't, at least not according to anything you've written. She's a bit of an immature drama queen, but she didn't take advantage of you or act like a heinous bitch. An ex of mine in short used me as a roof over her head and a baby sitter to her daughter whilst she went around sleeping with other guys and wiping herself out on a weekly basis drinking, then coming to me for money because she couldn't afford her childcare or her car payments, when I was paying all the bills and my own house mortgage. This is taking advantage of someone. Your girlfriend just hung out with a guy totally plantonically when you would have prefered she didn't. It isn't in the same league as this stuff. I thought I loved her and so I wouldn't mind sacrificing all kinds of things for her even without getting much in return. Pray tell, what did you sacrifice? And let's remember you lost a prized possession of hers and didn't tell her. She's written a letter to me saying shes sorry but then tried to push the blame on me later on in that letter. But she was the only and only person in the relationship who ruined the relationship. Unless there was another letter I didn't read, she didn't. You completely blamed her for the end of the relationship but from everything you've written you do deserve some of the blame for your poor communication skills and drama king tendencies. I think you should look into counselling at your college. Link to post Share on other sites
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Dude, why are you so overly obsessive... Just leave her alone. And stop analyzing her every movement as if it something to do with trying to gain 'power' over you. Not everybody cares about power. You really need to let it go before you turn into some crazy stalker. Link to post Share on other sites
jamesum Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 You can write the letter but then not send it. It's a good way to get your feelings out. Yup, pouring your heart in a writing is the best way to let out pent up emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 What would a blame letter accomplish? If you could have things your way, what would you have her reaction would be? Link to post Share on other sites
GooseChaser Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Yup, pouring your heart in a writing is the best way to let out pent up emotions. That way, you get the feelings out onto paper like you wanted, and don't have to deal with the girl's reaction to it! Cathartic! Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Write a letter, then file it away somewhere without sending it. Getting your feelings out is more important than her hearing about them. By sending her the letter, you're hoping to get some positive result for yourself by venting your spleen at her. However, that won't have the desired effect -- it'll simply keep you engaged. Remember that she sent you the blame-shifting letter because there's something SHE needs from the ongoing interaction with you. If you don't respond, you deny her that -- which gives her absolutely NO satisfaction. Getting a reply letter from you WOULD give her satisfaction in some way. Do you actually want to give her that satisfaction? I doubt it. Denying her the satisfaction is the way you maintain control over the situation, which will be far more beneficial for you psychologically in the long term. It'll demonstrate to yourself that you don't need to dance to her tune. Link to post Share on other sites
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