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Was this a bad move? (asked her why she didn't respond when I asked her out)

U1987

By U1987,
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U1987

U1987

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So I asked this girl out for tonight on Monday this week via text message (she didn't pick up when I called). She never called or text back. Last night, I facebook-messaged her "So is your phone broken or are you playing hard to get ; )"

 

I thought it would be cute or charming, but she never responded to my message or called back. I feel really embarrassed. The thing is, I have to see this girl on a regular basis. What should I do or say when I see her next?

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carhill

carhill

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Say nothing. Do nothing. She doesn't exist in any meaningful way. Respond to any in-person contact from her in a neutral way. Ask out other, more responsive, ladies. :)

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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(1) You don't ask a girl out via text message.

 

(2) If you leave a voicemail and she doesn't return your call with a call, then she's not interested. Move on.

 

(3) Facebook message is a fail.

 

(4) If you see her again, just do your own thing. Don't worry about her.

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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I recently got a text like that, followed by a FB message. I didn't respond either. :o

 

(1) You don't ask a girl out via text message.

 

(2) If you leave a voicemail and she doesn't return your call with a call, then she's not interested. Move on.

 

(3) Facebook message is a fail.

 

(4) If you see her again, just do your own thing. Don't worry about her.

 

This is spot on.

 

Don't say anything- pretend you never said anything.

 

So is this.

 

Literally, you should pretend like it never happened.

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Arasae

Arasae

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Yes, that was definitely a bad move. I hate, hate, *hate* it when men don't take the hint like that.

 

Here's the thing: I'm a girl. If I genuinely like you and you ask me out, I will respond relatively promptly and say yes. If I do not, I usually politely decline. Some women don't want to outright say "no", not because they're unsure, but because they don't want to "hurt your feelings". If a girl is "unsure," then she'll drag it out and at least give you some sort of response while she makes up her mind.

 

Next time, don't say anything again, just move on. Seriously. If the first silence wasn't rejection enough, you either WILL be outright rejected, or be met... with more silence. It's not worth it.

 

Sorry, dude. =( Good luck!

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carhill

carhill

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OP, be aware, if she's a game player, she'll titillate you with some feigned interest and/or flirting to try to get a reaction. Unless she directly asks you out on a date, e.g. 'I'd love to go out for dinner with you on Friday... would you like to go?', ignore anything else remotely interesting she has to say. Women are expert at this play so you'll never win. Believe her first non-response as her best effort. That's who she is. Also, ignore 'reasons' unless accompanied by a direct invitation to a date. Maybe her phone did end up in the washer. Not your problem.

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U1987

U1987

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Yes, that was definitely a bad move. I hate, hate, *hate* it when men don't take the hint like that.

 

Then why do girls give their phone numbers to guys they're not interested in? When a girl gives me her phone number, what else is that supposed to tell me besides "Call/text me sometime." ?

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carhill

carhill

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OP, someone who gave me her phone number told me she loved me, exactly one day before disappearing over a year ago. Ironically, she called me a little over a week ago, exactly on the day my mother died. We talked for nearly six hours. Why do these things happen? Why are men and women the way they are? Who knows. All you can do is accept it and proceed in a way which is healthy for you. In this case, that includes accepting other lady's phone numbers and calling them as it interests *you*. You're in charge of you. Good luck :)

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Why not? Why wouldn't you respond?

 

I'm not interested, obviously. If I was interested, I would have responded to one of the two methods he used.

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U1987

U1987

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I'm confused as to what you guys want me to do. Should I 1) completely ignore her cold-turkey or 2) continue interacting with her as I normally did business-as-usual?

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U1987

U1987

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Yes, that was definitely a bad move. I hate, hate, *hate* it when men don't take the hint like that.

 

What should I do or say to make her forget, think past or make light of it?

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carhill

carhill

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My advice is to not initiate any action and respond to any initiation by her in a neutral way, short of her asking you out on a date. If confronted with such an invitation, accept or decline as you feel appropriate. Neutral emotions. She doesn't rate *any* emotion or thought at this point. Look around. See all those people who mean nothing to you. Yep, that's her, right now. Her prior response earned her that status. Hope that's clear :)

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D-Lish

D-Lish

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I'm confused as to what you guys want me to do. Should I 1) completely ignore her cold-turkey or 2) continue interacting with her as I normally did business-as-usual?

 

Well, if she liked you, we are saying she would have responded pretty quickly with a "yes".

 

Seeing as though you have to run into her knowing she isn't interested- just play it like it's water off your back.... Have a "whatever" attitude.

 

Give a nod and a "hey what's up?", then move on.

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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I'm confused as to what you guys want me to do. Should I 1) completely ignore her cold-turkey or 2) continue interacting with her as I normally did business-as-usual?

 

Depends. Does "business-as-usual" require you to interact with her? That is, were you already friends or acquaintances before you asked her out? If not, then just leave her be. Be cordial if she wants to talk to you, but don't go out of your way to talk to her.

 

 

What should I do or say to make her forget, think past or make light of it?

 

Do and say nothing. Don't even bring it up that you asked her out.

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Depends. Does "business-as-usual" require you to interact with her? That is, were you already friends or acquaintances before you asked her out? If not, then just leave her be. Be cordial if she wants to talk to you, but don't go out of your way to talk to her.

 

Do and say nothing. Don't even bring it up that you asked her out.

 

Seconded. :)

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U1987

U1987

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Depends. Does "business-as-usual" require you to interact with her? That is, were you already friends or acquaintances before you asked her out? If not, then just leave her be. Be cordial if she wants to talk to you, but don't go out of your way to talk to her.

 

 

 

 

Do and say nothing. Don't even bring it up that you asked her out.

 

 

This girl is my once-a-week lab partner. I'm really not looking forward to any awkward moments when we have to work together next monday.

 

Would this be a good idea? Joking about it? Saying something like "Wow, that was a really cheesy message I sent you last week, huh? It's been giving me the giggles all week."

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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This girl is my once-a-week lab partner. I'm really not looking forward to any awkward moments when we have to work together next monday.

 

Would this be a good idea? Joking about it? Saying something like "Wow, that was a really cheesy message I sent you last week, huh? It's been giving me the giggles all week."

 

That would be a FAIL of epic proportions...I'd have to hunt you down so I could slap you in the face with a boat paddle.

 

NO. Don't mention anything of the sort. Just do your damn lab... :rolleyes:

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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This girl is my once-a-week lab partner. I'm really not looking forward to any awkward moments when we have to work together next monday.

 

Would this be a good idea? Joking about it? Saying something like "Wow, that was a really cheesy message I sent you last week, huh? It's been giving me the giggles all week."

 

DO. NOT. DO THIS. No, no, no, no, no.

 

I literally cringed when I read that, it would make you sound pathetic... like you'd been thinking about it all week, which is just sad.

 

Besides, how is she supposed to respond to a comment like that? She can't be honest without feeling really awkward. Don't put her in that position.

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U1987

U1987

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I just don't get it. Why did it have to come to this situation? I liked her and I thought we had some chemistry. Why did she give me her number? Why couldn't she just give me a chance?

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Star Gazer

Star Gazer

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Why did she give me her number?

 

Because you're her lab partner?

 

Why couldn't she just give me a chance?

 

Because she's not interested?

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USMCHokie

USMCHokie

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I liked her and I thought we had some chemistry.

 

The only chemistry you had with her was balancing the equations for your lab report.

 

Oh snap. :rolleyes::p

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