Friend trying to convince me that I am wrong

[counterman]

I normally wouldn't care about this but everytime the topic of dating comes up or anything related, he tries to convince me that I am wrong. He just got into his first relationship 4 months ago. I want to ask for your opinions on what you think about these topics.

 

He says:

 

- only the guy should say I love you first and he should say it around 3 to 4 months into the relationship

 

- if you ask a girl out and she says she'll consider it, I would give her up to a year to make up her mind

 

- you should really to get to know a girl and become her friend before asking her out

 

- its wrong that you don't feel hurt after you get rejected and its wrong that you can ask a girl out soon afterwards, it seems as though you didn't really like the other girl that much and was just asking anyone out

 

- you're afraid to get hurt that's why you ask girls out after 1, 2 or 3 meetings

 

- if you really like a girl, you will wait for her even if she isn't interested in you

 

There are MANY others but you get the gist. I am so sick of hearing it week in and week out and I am thinking that the only solution is to avoid the topic. I hate being judged and attacked. I went through a break-up last year and of course it hurt and when I asked a few girls afterwards (too soon after my break-up) that hurt as well, but afterwards, I grew in confidence and I am totally fine with it, even if I get rejected.

 

I don't see I should feel "hurt" and linger in pain if a girl doesn't want to go out with me. That's life, right? Just move on. He thinks that it's very crude of me that I could ask girls out "easily". Is it me or he doesn't get the dating game at all?

 

I hate it when things are theorised so much, with no experience to back it up. I am starting to think he has grown a head.

 

I don't care what he thinks but when you're being supportive to your friend and he attacks your lifestyle, I'm starting to question his friendship. It's naive to think that your limited experiences is the epitome of dating, and it is even more naive to think that they are right about their own way of approaching things.

 

I would also like to speculate that he puts too much value in the opinion of others, especially what others think of him. I have reached that point where I just don't care. Girl likes me, good. Girl doesn't, oh well. Do you guys think that has anything to do with it? He is trying to make me feel bad for being to do something he couldn't and cannot, would you agree?

[kiss_andmakeup]

So...he has had one four month relationship and he thinks he should write the rules on dating?

 

Comical, at most.

[dispatch3d]

He says:

 

- only the guy should say I love you first and he should say it around 3 to 4 months into the relationship

that's pretty stupid

 

- if you ask a girl out and she says she'll consider it, I would give her up to a year to make up her mind

One week, although the attitude she has about this "consider it" makes me think she gets 20 minutes lol.

 

- you should really to get to know a girl and become her friend before asking her out

 

Way more difficult way to do it. Won't hurt your ego as much though.

 

- its wrong that you don't feel hurt after you get rejected and its wrong that you can ask a girl out soon afterwards, it seems as though you didn't really like the other girl that much and was just asking anyone out

 

This is a good thing. I don't understand how there is even a right or wrong here. You are just asking women out, some are interested, some aren't. Sooo ahhh.... where is the wrong in that last sentence? Some aren't is what I would guess! Is there a magical time limit that should be met to ensure you care enough? Lol I don't get it.

 

- you're afraid to get hurt that's why you ask girls out after 1, 2 or 3 meetings

 

Ask more girls out and you won't give a ****. Go on more dates. Relates to his problem above.

 

- if you really like a girl, you will wait for her even if she isn't interested in you

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA

 

I don't care what he thinks but when you're being supportive to your friend and he attacks your lifestyle, I'm starting to question his friendship. It's naive to think that your limited experiences is the epitome of dating, and it is even more naive to think that they are right about their own way of approaching things.

 

I would also like to speculate that he puts too much value in the opinion of others, especially what others think of him. I have reached that point where I just don't care. Girl likes me, good. Girl doesn't, oh well. Do you guys think that has anything to do with it? He is trying to make me feel bad for being to do something he couldn't and cannot, would you agree?

 

He's insecure.

 

If you asked this guy is he good with women what do you think he'd say? He may say "no" but he definitely has a strong internal belief that he is good. Being "good with women" is a strong internal belief all guys HAVE to have. He probably even thinks "well if I asked more women out I'd OBVIOUSLY get a girlfriend eventually. LOL". Uhhh no ******* it doesn't work like that. You'd probably get rejected 3 times then give up (especially from what his attitude is above).

 

Just agree with the guy and don't go to him for "relationship counseling". The guy doesn't know anything, and not only does he not know anything but he isn't willing to change his mind. Just leave him be. You've already tried argueing with him for HOURS and he doesn't budge or change his mind. You could have finished this argument in 2 minutes and moved on to more fun things.

 

I have a similar problem with a roomate. I've decided to take this tact with him from now on and I assume it's going to work. He just likes argueing. I'll let him win. It won't affect ANYTHING. If I want him to do something he'll probably do it - if he doesn't I'll do less for him, etc. Like literally, nothing is going to change. All that will happen is he'll take some opposing view on something like "oh no you're wrong" and I'll say "okay good".

[JohnnyBlaze]

Counterman, tell your buddy that he should splurge next time and get the good crack, 'cause that cheap stuff he's on ain't doing him any good!

 

The only rule for dating is that there are no rules. Yes, there are some things that generally have more success than others, but it's hard for someone to feel special during the dating stage when their date is following the same old playbook, step by step. If his rules work for him, then he should go with them. If they don't work for you (or if you're doing just fine without them), then there's no reason to follow them. It goes back to the old saying, "if it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid".

 

Silly question: what happens if any of his rules are broken? Example: say he decides to tell a girl 3.5 months into their relation that he loves her, but she decides to tell him a week earlier. What then? Does he have to break up with this super-fantastic girl simply because she said something a few days earlier than he did?

[counterman]

It is comical. I should say it was, until it became repetitive. Now, it is just annoying.

 

That's the thing. He was friends with his current girlfriend for 6years. He liked her for 3 years and then just asked her out this year. Suddenly, this is the best approach to dating.

 

I might not agree with him, but I don't full attack his views and opinions. You're right, dispatch3d, I will just let him have it. He brings it up for a reason, so if he wants to feel good about this, then go for it. I would agree with you though. If he does get rejected, he would give up. OH, that reminds me, he brags about how he's never been rejected and has a 100% success rate. This is the only girl he's ever asked out. I have been rejected. I have been hurt by it. I have had my share, but, now if I do get rejected, I shrug it off. Why does that idea make him so uneasy?

 

Exactly Johnny, there are no rules. In fact, that's why I come on here to get different people's perspectives and start to see things from different lights. A lot of his talk is about a guy should do this, a guy should do that. Funny thing is, prior to this relationship, he was so freaked out about asking girls out. Right afterwards when he got together with his friend, he goes "yep, a guy should always ask a girl out". A guy shouldn't do this, a guy shouldn't do that. I am so sick of it. Seriously. It pains to me speak this way of a friend but I feel so insulted by him sometimes. I am just gonna agree with everything he says.

 

He obviously brings up the topic to hear himself speak and agree with it. Who the hell is he to tell me how I feel? Just because that's how he would feel doesn't mean that's how I would.

 

Back when I first started dating, I was extremely naive but definitely not as much as this.

[TaraMaiden]

I would strongly recommend you advise him to post his findings on LS.

 

Nothing takes the wind out of some inflated Ego's sails more, than posting a self-opinionated thread on here.

 

Bring him on - we'll slap him into shape in no time!

[ColdFox]

Your friend sounds well intentioned, but misguided. Sometimes that's a pretty annoying combination. Still he's in the flush of his first successful love, and he's getting a little carried away and thinks he knows everything. It's kind of cute.

[Left in a Lurch]

Right and wrong of dating and the "rules" comes from perspective. Experience changes your perspective.

If his gf comes back and says, "You know, I realized I was never in love with you, just comfortable and decided to give it a shot" his perspective will change.

Not everyone with wants to be with someone exactly the same so anyone's hard, fast rules about dating is completely meaningless to other people. To believe otherwise is naive.

[dispatch3d]

It is comical. I should say it was, until it became repetitive. Now, it is just annoying.

 

That's the thing. He was friends with his current girlfriend for 6years. He liked her for 3 years and then just asked her out this year. Suddenly, this is the best approach to dating.

 

I might not agree with him, but I don't full attack his views and opinions. You're right, dispatch3d, I will just let him have it. He brings it up for a reason, so if he wants to feel good about this, then go for it. I would agree with you though. If he does get rejected, he would give up. OH, that reminds me, he brags about how he's never been rejected and has a 100% success rate. This is the only girl he's ever asked out. I have been rejected. I have been hurt by it. I have had my share, but, now if I do get rejected, I shrug it off. Why does that idea make him so uneasy?

 

Exactly Johnny, there are no rules. In fact, that's why I come on here to get different people's perspectives and start to see things from different lights. A lot of his talk is about a guy should do this, a guy should do that. Funny thing is, prior to this relationship, he was so freaked out about asking girls out. Right afterwards when he got together with his friend, he goes "yep, a guy should always ask a girl out". A guy shouldn't do this, a guy shouldn't do that. I am so sick of it. Seriously. It pains to me speak this way of a friend but I feel so insulted by him sometimes. I am just gonna agree with everything he says.

 

He obviously brings up the topic to hear himself speak and agree with it. Who the hell is he to tell me how I feel? Just because that's how he would feel doesn't mean that's how I would.

 

Back when I first started dating, I was extremely naive but definitely not as much as this.

 

He's got a pretty good system I think. Befriend a girl. Stalk quietly for a couple years collecting intelligence. Stalk quietly some more, wait out some breakups to figure out what the guys are doing wrong. 2 years later you're almost there. Then wait until she goes out with a few more dickheads over the next coupel years, 6 years later bam pounce she doesn't even know what hit her. Haha....

 

hummm wow this guy would give just about the worst dating advice. I can tell from your description he would drive me up the wall. It'd annoy me because while I'm actually growing as a person and doing "the dating game" the normal way this guy (read: chump) happened to get very lucky. Oh well, it's a good thing he did get lucky anyways. Guy would probably have a long wait for girl number 2

[counterman]

TaraMaiden, that is a brilliant idea. I think I have experienced said slapping before. Always a losing battle when you're up against the stars of LS.

 

I guess it is kind of cute... some might even say endearing. It is just everything he talks about in relations to this is done with the intent to make himself look better. It is also cute that he is very proud to have his girl but when is the fine line between being proud or being egotistic crossed? I have other friends in relationships as well, some going on strong after 3 years but they have never, ever judged, or slam others' views, like this one has.

 

I would say that I was like that once, ColdFox. I have a very limited perspective based on my very limited experience, but my perspective does grow as I experience more. I would say I am not so naive as to believe that my way of approaching things is the best way nor the only way. I love hearing views of others in relationships to this...except for this friend.

 

I have spoken to his girlfriend before, prior to her getting together with him. She did not truly understand what she's worth and was worried about being a "bad girlfriend". Also, she also said she feared not finding the right one.

 

He was desperate before but didn't want to ask girls out. He said it was scary. So, now that he's with this girl, and if a his girl did say that, his perspective might change. But knowing my friend for years, I really wonder what would happen to him.

 

Exactly dispatch3d. She was trying to go out with a few girls prior and it didn't work out. What's more secure than having your best guy friend as your boyfriend?

 

He did get very, very lucky. I think he wants validation that he pulled off the best move in the world or something. I tell him about my dating experiences, even ones that didn't go so well and he goes "see, that's where you went wrong, you should be her friend first and see if anything develops before asking her out".

 

Believe me, I'm trying to be as unbiased here as I possibly can but it really is that annoying. If I can avoid this topic with him, I will. If he talks about, I'll just nod and agree with him.

 

It's a funny thing, when people try to reflect their own securities onto others. I would rather go out and do things than feel sorry for myself and justify everything that is wrong. I would rather go out with girls then come up with stupid hypothetical situations and get nowhere.

 

I feel so stifled that I seriously need a break from this topic. I am sick of hearing "no, you don't do that", "no, that's wrong", "that's crude", etc. because it's all a load of crap. He's a pussy. I am not going to get dragged down.

 

Does it make a bad friend? I don't think so. I've been so supportive of him, but this has gone on way too long. I will only treat those people well who treat me with respect.

[Green]

make sure he makes an account because he is going to need argue his point to us. Also make an UPDATE and link to his thread when he starts it.

 

He sounds like a fool but really why do u let it bother you so much... u don't have to be friends with him if he is just really anoying

 

my friend just broke up with his gf of like 8 or 9 months and seriously he needs to cool it and stop talking about it to me all the time

[counterman]

I doubt he's going to make an account, plus I don't want him knowing private information about me. Maybe if his relationship doesn't work out... but I have a feeling he'll be coming to be and I have a feeling I'll be reluctant to hear him out.

 

You're right. I did let me bother me. It is because it's the same old thing I just realised. He asks for my views, then slams it with his own. Rinse and repeat. I don't have to be his friend but he's part of my group of friends and we see each other often. I'll just let it be and let him get his ego shot. I must admit this is the first time I've really lost my cool (not at him) but yeah.

 

There's other things as well, but I won't go there.

 

Yeah, it gets annoying, doesn't it?

[Stung]

If it were me I'd let him have his day in the sun for now, and just do some nodding and tuning out. After all he pined after this girl for years and FINALLY achieved nirvana, his heart and mind are fine-tuned to his own romance and he can't imagine another version of his glorious story. If he continues to wax pedantic about his mastery of love after a little while he'll need a talking to about the nature of multi-faceted reality and in the ways to talk to your friends without alienating them--or, you just might start tapering off your hanging out time, for a while.

 

There are an awful lot of people who think their experience is the only true experience--you can see examples of them all over these boards. They're often people who haven't actually experienced all that much, or anything outside of a single spectrum, although they think they have. Their input IS valid--just extremely limited. Hopefully it's just a phase.

[counterman]

If he continues this way and I try to talk to him about what's doing , I don't think he'll listen. He really doesn't take opinions of others too well. But, yes, I think I will hang out with him less.

 

It's kind of funny. The reason I didn't hang out with him that much before was because of this but not in regards to dating. Whether it was sports, working out fashion, etc., he always felt the need to stress how much better he is at it. For example, he would say "I don't want to wear ____ because if I do, I will blow you away". Now, since I see him often, he does it again. I was starting to see through his mask, because I often wondered why you would put down your friends or degrade their views. Now, I know he is really insecure. There's having a joke once in a while and there is constantly making yourself feel better by putting down others. I don't like that.

 

I would say that was me before. I thought I knew everything, but my experience was extremely limited. It was not until I had a few blows that I realised maybe I don't know so much. But I do learn. A one-size-fits-all solution does not always apply to every situation.

 

Hopefully, it is a phase. I cannot be friends with him if he continues that way. It is some ego thing or something, but he always feels the need to state that he's superior, especially over me. Don't get me wrong, I have never put him down or the like. It's always been support and backing up, as a friend should. But, I have a feeling he'll respond to my honesty with a lot of cynicism and look to "get me back'" in return, which is sad.

 

If he asks me why I have been hanging out with him less and I tell him the truth, he will have a go at me and say something along the lines of "you're just jealous" etc. I'm just gong to nod and say "yep".

[counterman]

Okay, so I have this other friend and it's funny how its always funny how him and the friend I was talking about before in this thread ALWAYS talk about theoretical stuff when it comes to dating. Seriously, it seems as though this guy is reading a book or something because he's had zero experience with dating and all of it sounds like bull****.

 

Anyways, there is this girl, who is a mutual friend of ours. He is interested in her but another one of my friends is going out with her now, which started recently. Well, all my friend has been doing is trying to pass it off that I liked her and that I lost to that guy and "failed"... It's really weird because I don't feel like that at all. He says something a long the line of "I can't believe you lost to that guy... he beat you". I know for a that he likes her but would never be able to ask her out because he's scared. I am not interested in her, so I don't know what has him implying it.

 

Also, he keeps talking crap about the guy she is dating. Just because he's more aggressive and actually asked her out.

 

He is another person that keeps talking about dating as though he knows everything but his opinions sounds more textbook. He says he wants a girlfriend but never asks girls out.

 

The thing I have noticed and which I not like having in a friend is that him and my other friend keep trying to put me down in front of girls. For example, with that girl that he likes, he sends her a text asking her if she wanted to be my date for a dinner. I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to blow my chances with her but the weird thing is I wasn't even going for her. Another situation is when we were talking as a group and he would pay me out in front of the girls, like point out some flaw, etc.

 

I really do not respect that.

 

Judging by what you have read and whatnot, what do you think I should do?

 

Because I am really, extremely fed up with this kind of behaviour. I can just shrug it off, I know but these guys are meant to be my friends. That's what's really bugging me. I don't need to have my confidence and self-esteem tested because I am fine. Only thing though is that they feel the need to do this to make themselves feel better.

 

I feel as though I am on the verge of a verbal unleash, even physical.

[counterman]

Oh, one thing I should add, which I think is really immature, the first friend I was talking about things that a 30 year old guy dating a 22 year old girl is creepy. He even thinks that a 22 year old guy dating a 19 year old girl creepy. He was trying to convince me along with many other people that it is.

 

You know why? His girlfriend use to date someone who was 3 years older than her.

[Stung]

Well, he is allowed his opinion, although it does sound like it might be based in insecurity. Honestly, counterman, it sounds to me as though you are simply starting to outgrow your friends. It is sad when that happens, but it does happen, and in the end it just means you are maturing to another phase/branch in your life. Maybe they will catch up later, but in the meantime perhaps you should start seeking out others who are more on your wavelength to hang out with.

[dispatch3d]

Anyways, there is this girl, who is a mutual friend of ours. He is interested in her but another one of my friends is going out with her now, which started recently. Well, all my friend has been doing is trying to pass it off that I liked her and that I lost to that guy and "failed"... It's really weird because I don't feel like that at all. He says something a long the line of "I can't believe you lost to that guy... he beat you". I know for a that he likes her but would never be able to ask her out because he's scared. I am not interested in her, so I don't know what has him implying it.

 

he is another person that keeps talking about dating as though he knows everything but his opinions sounds more textbook. He says he wants a girlfriend but never asks girls out.

 

The thing I have noticed and which I not like having in a friend is that him and my other friend keep trying to put me down in front of girls. For example, with that girl that he likes, he sends her a text asking her if she wanted to be my date for a dinner. I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to blow my chances with her but the weird thing is I wasn't even going for her. Another situation is when we were talking as a group and he would pay me out in front of the girls, like point out some flaw, etc.

 

I really do not respect that.

 

Because I am really, extremely fed up with this kind of behaviour. I can just shrug it off, I know but these guys are meant to be my friends. That's what's really bugging me. I don't need to have my confidence and self-esteem tested because I am fine. Only thing though is that they feel the need to do this to make themselves feel better.

 

Alright sounds like you failed then.

 

So ahhh. Yup.

 

(Seriously even if you admit you failed this means what? You fail all the time. You can't succeed if you don't fail. Not like I value these guys opinion anyways. I doubt you do.)

 

He definitely isn't reading any useful textbooks. The books would help him a lot.

 

This is called "amog'ing". I especially do not take nicely to it. They are looking for a reaction/some form of entertainment. So if you get super pissed at them they go lol look at how mad he is it's so cute. If you don't react then they likely just keep doing it until they get SOMETHING. In the end its just them entertaining themselves.

 

Your problem is you don't react well to this kind of behaviour. It's also the secret to never being teased.

 

For example, the guy who sent that text to a girl. He'd be like hahaha man I got you so good blah blah bull****. I would listen, stare at him for a bit, then very firmly and calmly tell him we will not be friends. I would literally say "Oh yeah. So this is funny to you? Do you want to be friends with me?" My tone would be even and stern. Very very serious.

 

Then I'd either let him know I'll tell him to straight up **** off next time, or leave it hang whether I'm friends with him right now.

 

One thing I would make certain is that at some point of him doing something that serious, he would feel uncomfortable for a while.

 

Obviously you don't want to just blow up at people if they even say your name wrong or do something slightly weird. I usually just give a look and ignore the comment/whatever they did completely. Generally this is enough. I never laugh at any humour directed at me to make me look stupid/etc. I give no strong negative feedback (or lots of attention, which would be seen as positive feedback) and I give no positive feedback. People generally try to be NICER to someone when being treated like ****. This is an awful way to handle it. It validates their behaviour and allows them to continue to do it. DO NOT DO THIS!

 

This is the sort of thing you get better at as you go. The first time I did it I way over-reacted. All the same, setting boundaries with everyone you know is very important, and you do not have good enough boundaries right now (especially with good friends of yours).

 

The main guy in this post sounds really insecure. It sounds like you have a 2-3 friends like this. Just be aware that even doing the above they'll still test you quite often. They have a need to feel superior to someone, and before you were an "easy" target....

[dispatch3d]

and don't explain yourself to someone. If they ask you to take some dating stance be like "I ask chicks out" lol thats a pretty major non-answer. Or if he baits you with like "Why don't you hit on that girl?" you could tell him yeah yeah (non answer), "ok" which is really neither positive nor negative, etc.

 

I am starting to take the approach/kinda already take it of just telling the person what they want to hear and doing whatever the **** I want to do. Sure, they notice it, but I don't have to be bothered with the arguement. It's not like they will "prove me wrong" or something and I'll not do what I want. Nope, not happening.

 

fwiw argueing is by far the worst way to get what you want.

[counterman]

I think I am outgrowing them. It's has been the same old thing for over a year now... but I find that I am getting less tolerable of this kind behaviour. It's not just them; it is me as well. I will definitely hang out with different people.

 

I have failed in that I showed a reaction to it and became so irritated. Though, I rant on this forum and have never exploded at them or anything. I guess I did take their opinions well before but now, I am starting to see the cracks. It's just a waste of breathe arguing with them and it would be even worse for me to chuck a fit because they don't deserve such a reaction.I do not owe anything to them and even my opinion and views on things will not be shared. I will just agree with them and leave it at that. It is funny, they have asked me to ask this girl out before or that one as though to prove to them something. I wouldn't do it because like you I'm not gonna do what I dont want to.

 

I'm use to playing it cool because I am usually "tested" regularly but there's a few lines that were crossed in the past which I wish I had responded differently to. There are 2 to 3 friends like that and one of them is now dating my ex. I wouldn't get into the details but it sucks having your private life being intruded. Needless to say he's not my friend anymore. I don't hang out with my friends to be challenged or test, let alone disrespected sometimes. I will just agree with them when they say something, using the lines you've suggested, and just hang out with new people. I respect myself too much for this to go on.

 

The sad thing is that I am moving forward and they're stuck in this same old world, just doing the same old crap. I do need boundaries, especially with these guys. In the past, I would laugh it off then move on because I would forget about it soon after... that is until it happens again and drags on. I don't fins it funny so I'm not going to vallidate with any response. If it comes to it that the lines been crossed, I'm gonna say "do you want to be my friend or not? Cause if you don't, keeping going".

 

Do you think just giving them a serious look will do? I am definitely not going to laugh it off or argue.

[dispatch3d]

yeah man the stare thing works really well. Do you appreciate being stared at like you're a ****ing *******? Probably not. I know I don't appreciate it. So yeah, it communicates they are out of line pretty clearly and without really any reaction.

 

There's a youtube video of tom cruise getting sprayed in the face. Reacting like he does is (in my opinion) perfect in that case. Although he's probably way over the top - he makes the guy who did that cry - I don't think he's necessarily out of line. Telling someone who sprayed water in your face for no reason to ****KKK OFFF is more than fair.

[Sanman]

Wow, those are the most amazingly dumb rules for dating that I have ever heard. Sadly, I have heard some similar ideas before from friends. Of course these friends have had fewer girlfriends in a lifetime than I have had in a month. The bottom line here is that many man find excuses (false bravado, ridicule, etc) to cover up their insecurity and fear. One of my closest friends cannot understand how I have much more trouble finding a gf than he does despite the fact that I date so much more. The answer to that is simple...he has no idea how the game is played and has never been a part of it. His gf is morbidly obese and not very educated. He is better looking with a much greater career outlook, yet he assumes she would be out of his league if she lost the weight (she wouldn't) and treats her like gold. That is fine if that is what he wants, but I am looking for an equal and the women I date get MUCH more attention. The bottom line is as you have mentioned, you cannot grow as a person without letting go of these guys. Find people who you aspire to be like rather than guys who hope to have a fraction of what you do.

[counterman]

I have seen that video and I like the way he reacted. I think, also, that it was fair and that is probably how I would want to react too. It's the same old though. Those guys may cool it for a bit and then they resort to it again. It's pitiful.

 

Same with these guys. They don't know what dating is and have never been a part of it. Some of the things I have tried to explain, and none of them were "rules", seemed so difficult for them to grasp. One of the most important is that everyone has their views. What works for one person doesn't mean it will work for another. Even THAT they don't get. It's such a waste of time talking to them. I don't want something like your friend has as well. I want something equal too. When I think about it, these guys were never really great friends and I would be suffocated if I stick with him. My best of friends never tried to belittle or ridicule me. They never tried to pass off their own securities through me.

 

If I am place in a situation and they talk about that topic, I will just agree with them and go "yep". If they ask me to prove something to them, I will go "okay" but not do anything. If it's something stupid, like they try to make me look stupid, I will just give him that start like he's a ****in retard. If he pushes over the line, I'll pull a Tom cruise. Mostly importantly, I am limiting my time with them.

[dispatch3d]

I have seen that video and I like the way he reacted. I think, also, that it was fair and that is probably how I would want to react too. It's the same old though. Those guys may cool it for a bit and then they resort to it again. It's pitiful.

 

Same with these guys. They don't know what dating is and have never been a part of it. Some of the things I have tried to explain, and none of them were "rules", seemed so difficult for them to grasp. One of the most important is that everyone has their views. What works for one person doesn't mean it will work for another. Even THAT they don't get. It's such a waste of time talking to them. I don't want something like your friend has as well. I want something equal too. When I think about it, these guys were never really great friends and I would be suffocated if I stick with him. My best of friends never tried to belittle or ridicule me. They never tried to pass off their own securities through me.

 

If I am place in a situation and they talk about that topic, I will just agree with them and go "yep". If they ask me to prove something to them, I will go "okay" but not do anything. If it's something stupid, like they try to make me look stupid, I will just give him that start like he's a ****in retard. If he pushes over the line, I'll pull a Tom cruise. Mostly importantly, I am limiting my time with them.

 

there will never be a need to pull a tom cruise. They likely won't treat you like that much **** and if you did that assume your friendship is gone (It would be you ending it not them). No need to go out in smoke. His attitude towards that random guy who decided that being a complete ******* just because it COULD be funny was completely justified. Tom Cruise is a person. He doesn't deserve to be randomly treated like **** (he expressed the reasons pretty clearly himself).

 

His demeanor in the entire thing is what's key. He didn't look bad at all, despite the fact he was the one sprayed in the face. The other guy looked TERRIBLE. He looked like a complete *******. Why? Tom Cruise didn't give a **** the guy did that. He was just letting him know how much of a dick he was. He wasn't angry. Emotional. Whatever. Didn't actually bother him. He probably spent 3 minutes of his life thinking about that guy. That's the key. You give them a little **** very calmly.

[InceptorsRule]

counterman,

 

I think it's time for you to try to have sex with your friend's gf.