does 3 30 am text warrant a response the next day?

[my body is a cage]

this very attractive guy in the periphery of my group of friends that i dont know that well texted me at 3 30 am last night. im not sure if it was a booty call, or a reflection of our lifestyles (we often go out until 5-6 am).

 

i was asleep, and also not in the same state (he graduated and lives in the city, i think he might be under the impression that i live in the city as well).

 

im going back to school soon, so wont have much time to go into the city or an opportunity to see him, and hes really attractive. i wouldnt mind hanging out with him or hooking up with him.. approach? ignore text, text next time im in the city?

[alexlakeman]

Hook up with him.. wth? hook ups don't count in women's count....

[my body is a cage]

Hook up with him.. wth? hook ups don't count in women's count....

 

hmm? haha

[Allisha]

this very attractive guy in the periphery of my group of friends that i dont know that well texted me at 3 30 am last night. im not sure if it was a booty call, or a reflection of our lifestyles (we often go out until 5-6 am).

 

i was asleep, and also not in the same state (he graduated and lives in the city, i think he might be under the impression that i live in the city as well).

 

im going back to school soon, so wont have much time to go into the city or an opportunity to see him, and hes really attractive. i wouldnt mind hanging out with him or hooking up with him.. approach? ignore text, text next time im in the city?

 

The bold bits should tell you all you need to know.

 

You like him...

 

..Approach!

[carhill]

There is a very attractive lady in the periphery of my group of friends whom I don't know that well who called last night and didn't leave a voice mail on my cell phone but I saw her number when I came in the house later. I called back and left a brief message. Was that warranted? Probably not, but that's my style. Go with *your* style. Good luck

[my body is a cage]

The bold bits should tell you all you need to know.

 

You like him...

 

..Approach!

 

Haha yeah I just don't know what his intentions were for sending it... my "style" would probably be to not respond (esp now since about 15 hours have passed) but to text him next time I'm in town?

 

Is this acceptable? Or would me not responding put him off?

[carhill]

Absolutely do text him the next time you're in town, if that's your style. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear from you. If not, his loss. That 3:30am text, just like my random phone call last night, was likely an aberration. Such things happen in life. We give them their due importance. Enjoy your Saturday evening

[Allisha]

Haha yeah I just don't know what his intentions were for sending it... my "style" would probably be to not respond (esp now since about 15 hours have passed) but to text him next time I'm in town?

 

Is this acceptable? Or would me not responding put him off?

 

Course it's acceptable. There are no rules!

 

However, you do not want him thinking you're playing games and/or sending mixed signals.

 

To put it another way, if I text you, and you completely ignored me ...then, whenever you felt like it, decided to text me randomly, I would wonder why you feel you deserve a reply from me, seeing as you'd previously shunned my last attempt at contact. So it could be perceived in that way. I guess some could say that it would be quite extreme to take such a hard view on it, but a lot of people run at the slightest sign of mixed signals.

 

Course, everyone's perception is different, and he may not even think in that way, but you really don't want to give him any reason to think you're being hot/cold with him, particularly if you like him.

[my body is a cage]

Course it's acceptable. There are no rules!

 

However, you do not want him thinking you're playing games and/or sending mixed signals.

 

To put it another way, if I text you, and you completely ignored me ...then, whenever you felt like it, decided to text me randomly, I would wonder why you feel you deserve a reply from me, seeing as you'd previously shunned my last attempt at contact. So it could be perceived in that way. I guess some could say that it would be quite extreme to take such a hard view on it, but a lot of people run at the slightest sign of mixed signals.

 

Course, everyone's perception is different, and he may not even think in that way, but you really don't want to give him any reason to think you're being hot/cold with him, particularly if you like him.

 

Yeah exactly, I dont want to play games but then the fact that he sent me a text at 3 30 am makes me wonder what his motives were, and I feel like if you receive a text at that hour its ok to not take it seriously? Normally I would reply.

 

Weve been texting lately because he was holding on to a jacket I had left at a party, and I had to get it back it from him... I finally did two days ago, so before this text its all been jacket-getting business. I don't know him that well, and we've flirted before, but its kind of hard for me to get a read on him (clouded by my intimidation! hes a model! could someone that beautiful really be interested?) Also, I was involved with a friend of his before (albiet not a close one) although that situation is for all intents and purposes over so maybe he knows that? Or maybe he just thinks I'm down?

 

I've heard theres a book called flirtexting. Maybe I need to check it out.

[xpaperxcutx]

First of all, texting or calling someone at 3 in the morning is just plain disrespectful.

 

Second, any kind of communication at that time of hour screams " booty call" even if you are in a different state.

 

I once knew a guy who kept calling me at 4 in the morning, and it pissed the hell out of me. He had nothing particular to say and I knew he was just trying to kill time waiting for the bus. I've changed my number since then and refuse to get suck into being used like that.

[and.then.some]

Haha yeah I just don't know what his intentions were for sending it... my "style" would probably be to not respond (esp now since about 15 hours have passed) but to text him next time I'm in town?

 

Is this acceptable? Or would me not responding put him off?

 

Depends on the person. I might be a little put off by a text that went unanswered. As for "it must be a booty call", I have to disagree. Although it is highly probably, I was once a bit of a night owl and social butterfly. You don't always realize how late it is to people who are sober.

 

If you're just looking to hook up with this guy, then not responding might be okay. However, if you're really interested in this person, I feel responding would be the proper thing to do. Treat me casually, and causal is all you get in return. You know? It seems like casual is all you want from this one, so it shouldn't be a huge deal.

[edgeofdarkness]

good god how people over think things.....bloody hell why do people always want to make things so complicated, just ring the guy wheres the harm????

[edgeofdarkness]

First of all, texting or calling someone at 3 in the morning is just plain disrespectful.

 

Second, any kind of communication at that time of hour screams " booty call" even if you are in a different state.

 

u dont know that its the time he sent it, ive sometimes received texts a couple of hours or more after the person sent it, and people havent had my texts at all, i show them the sent txt on my fone and they say hell i havent had that then an hour later their phone goes and voila, they got my text, so this comment is just not thought out and makes assumptions.

 

I once knew a guy who kept calling me at 4 in the morning, and it pissed the hell out of me. He had nothing particular to say and I knew he was just trying to kill time waiting for the bus. I've changed my number since then and refuse to get suck into being used like that.

 

kept calling is different to guy sent me A text....

[dispatch3d]

ahh if I send a girl a text and she doesn't reply back at all I wait a minimum of a week to send her a text, if I do that at all. Honestly putting up with bull**** from girls is just asking to get more bull**** because all the sudden the guy is "okay" with it.

 

Responding to the text is kind of weird though. When a girl did this to me at like 2 am, I just replied back as if it was that night (she didn't text anything lude, just do you know this guy - who she knew I knew). Since you're a girl you definitely don't have to be as proactive. If I were you I would leave it for a day or two, and if he doesn't text you, initiate some kind of conversation. It could be pretaining to the text or not, frankly it doesn't matter. This will show some level of interest.

[my body is a cage]

ahh if I send a girl a text and she doesn't reply back at all I wait a minimum of a week to send her a text, if I do that at all. Honestly putting up with bull**** from girls is just asking to get more bull**** because all the sudden the guy is "okay" with it.

 

Responding to the text is kind of weird though. When a girl did this to me at like 2 am, I just replied back as if it was that night (she didn't text anything lude, just do you know this guy - who she knew I knew). Since you're a girl you definitely don't have to be as proactive. If I were you I would leave it for a day or two, and if he doesn't text you, initiate some kind of conversation. It could be pretaining to the text or not, frankly it doesn't matter. This will show some level of interest.

 

 

Yeah I'm not trying to play games or anything I mean I just think I would have been kind of weird to respond, like 3 30 am is pretty late (but then again he parties alot and so do I when I'm not STRANDED in the ****ing subrubs UGH) but was I supposed to text him back being like "Sorry, I was asleep and I'm not in town?" Thats kind of awkward too.

 

I could initiate a conversation I guess. I just have like nooo clue what he thinks of me we hardly know each other. What would a good conversation initiation be? Something boring like "so hows that post grad job hunt going" or something like "Sorry I've been stranded in the suburbs, have a wild weekend?"

 

The treat me casual you get treated casual thing... isnt texting me at 3 30 am pretty damn casual?

[dispatch3d]

Yeah I'm not trying to play games or anything I mean I just think I would have been kind of weird to respond, like 3 30 am is pretty late (but then again he parties alot and so do I when I'm not STRANDED in the ****ing subrubs UGH) but was I supposed to text him back being like "Sorry, I was asleep and I'm not in town?" Thats kind of awkward too.

 

I could initiate a conversation I guess. I just have like nooo clue what he thinks of me we hardly know each other. What would a good conversation initiation be? Something boring like "so hows that post grad job hunt going" or something like "Sorry I've been stranded in the suburbs, have a wild weekend?"

 

The treat me casual you get treated casual thing... isnt texting me at 3 30 am pretty damn casual?

 

Do you want to talk about boring ****? **** no. The second start is WAY better.

 

Yeah texting "Not in town I was sleeping" would not be good. Definitely don't do that. Probably even better to not text at all (which was your solution). In my case I just answered the question. IDK what his midnight text was.

 

Not sure if starting a huge texting thing right now is the best idea. You may want to wait until you are in town (how long is the time frame here?). It really depends on the timing too.... I mean if it's 3 months until you are back in town he's going to forget about you and vice versa. In that case I'd want to start some kind of texting where you just let him know (at some point) you won't even be in town for another 3 months.

 

Anyhow your second text is great. You can use that now or use something different when you get there. You could use something like, "Well I'm finally back in town and you STILL aren't talking to me?". or "Now that i'm actually in town we can be friends again! Maybe!".... Probably the second. You seem better at this anyways, have any ideas?

[sameoldsameold]

Reply to him... lifes to short.... grab it with both hands !

[NancyBotwin]

this very attractive guy in the periphery of my group of friends that i dont know that well texted me at 3 30 am last night. im not sure if it was a booty call, or a reflection of our lifestyles (we often go out until 5-6 am).

 

i was asleep, and also not in the same state (he graduated and lives in the city, i think he might be under the impression that i live in the city as well).

 

im going back to school soon, so wont have much time to go into the city or an opportunity to see him, and hes really attractive. i wouldnt mind hanging out with him or hooking up with him.. approach? ignore text, text next time im in the city?

Sounds like the text equivalent of a drunk-dial.

[xpaperxcutx]

u dont know that its the time he sent it, ive sometimes received texts a couple of hours or more after the person sent it, and people havent had my texts at all, i show them the sent txt on my fone and they say hell i havent had that then an hour later their phone goes and voila, they got my text, so this comment is just not thought out and makes assumptions.

 

 

 

kept calling is different to guy sent me A text....

 

 

No I think I'm right, even if it's an assumption. Unless he had really really bad service, a missed text still has a time stamp of when it's been send. So let's just ask the OP to go back and look over at her texts and the time they were send.

[my body is a cage]

No I think I'm right, even if it's an assumption. Unless he had really really bad service, a missed text still has a time stamp of when it's been send. So let's just ask the OP to go back and look over at her texts and the time they were send.

 

it was sent at 3 30 am for sure. i sent him a text back today saying 'hey ive been stranded ... have a wild weekend?' no response. maybe that came off as snarky/weird? maybe hes repentant? oh well.

[dispatch3d]

it was sent at 3 30 am for sure. i sent him a text back today saying 'hey ive been stranded ... have a wild weekend?' no response. maybe that came off as snarky/weird? maybe hes repentant? oh well.

 

the less thought you put into these things the better. Maybe he hasn't gotten it yet? Who knows... who cares