Delayed response from women online.

[jadedone]

So i'm back to online dating recently after a 2-3 year absence. Do some of you women deliberately wait a few days to respond to a message?

 

I have noticed this more on OKC. I send a message to a beautiful and interesting woman. I clearly notice that she has been online and looked at my priofile after I sent the message, and with no response I assumed she wasn't interested. Now 4 different women have suddenly responded after like 3 or 4 days.

[bobdole]

Yep... part of the "The Game" or "The Rules". Same thing with phone calls. I choose not to participate or tolerate it past the first contact.

[EyeAlone]

So i'm back to online dating recently after a 2-3 year absence. Do some of you women deliberately wait a few days to respond to a message?

 

I have noticed this more on OKC. I send a message to a beautiful and interesting woman. I clearly notice that she has been online and looked at my priofile after I sent the message, and with no response I assumed she wasn't interested. Now 4 different women have suddenly responded after like 3 or 4 days.

Sometimes it will take me a while to respond if I'm busy or tired from school, but during that time interval I may view the guy's profile. It takes less time to read the profile, look at pictures, and learn about that guy than it does to email. I'll do this when I have a few random minutes of downtime at work. That way when I have time to actually sit down and type, I'll know what to write. Having said that, I don't deliberately wait a few days before responding.

 

There are times when I'm receiving and responding to messages from multiple guys and that will also delay my response time. It doesn't mean that I'm not interested in the guy; it just means that I'm interested in a few guys at the same time.

[sagetalk]

Their inbox is stuffed, while your inbox has 1 or 2 messages. It's one of the biggest turnoff's of online dating.

[lilbunny]

My own experiment with online dating was rather disappointing to be honest. However, I reponded to emails as I read then even if it was just to say a polite thanks for the email but I would not like to take this further (unless they were creepy and then I just ignored them full stop).

I don't get this whole rules/game play thing, does it actually work, because it seems like a load of time wasting and childish nonsense to me!

[carhill]

OP, tip: Care less about who views your message, your account, your dog's water dish. Care more about contacting women you find attractive and reciprocating responses which match up with your style of interaction. If that's zero, hey, it's zero. Focus on what *you* want. Care less about them. Ask women out IRL too. No one is immune from your interest. Will you be alone on Sunday night? Maybe. Who cares? You can't change women, or their attraction, or their dating 'style', so *accept it*. Do what you want to do.

 

I'll bet you'll have a date this Friday

[jadedone]

OP, tip: Care less about who views your message, your account, your dog's water dish. Care more about contacting women you find attractive and reciprocating responses which match up with your style of interaction. If that's zero, hey, it's zero. Focus on what *you* want. Care less about them. Ask women out IRL too. No one is immune from your interest. Will you be alone on Sunday night? Maybe. Who cares? You can't change women, or their attraction, or their dating 'style', so *accept it*. Do what you want to do.

 

I'll bet you'll have a date this Friday

 

I found it amusing more than anything. I don't get hung up on a particular person. It just seemed odd I messaged a handful of women and they consciously waited several days to reply.

 

My personal policy, is that I reply to messages at the end of the night before I go to bed or the next morning. Never in the middle of the day. Even If I happen to log in and read their messages right after they sent them. SO the several days delay kind of stood out to me.

[sagetalk]

OP, tip: Care less about who views your message, your account, your dog's water dish. Care more about contacting women you find attractive and reciprocating responses which match up with your style of interaction. If that's zero, hey, it's zero. Focus on what *you* want. Care less about them. Ask women out IRL too. No one is immune from your interest. Will you be alone on Sunday night? Maybe. Who cares? You can't change women, or their attraction, or their dating 'style', so *accept it*. Do what you want to do.

 

I'll bet you'll have a date this Friday

 

And more self confidence as well. This is great advice.

 

If one turns you down, just go after another one.

[carhill]

My personal policy, is that I reply to messages at the end of the night before I go to bed or the next morning.

 

Good to know. Now, what's your personal policy for receiving messages?

[alexlakeman]

Only send messages if they are either on line NOW or within the last day or so, if not, when they get back online they will have a ton of emails to go through, and some women just delete as it's such a pia to read each email... it works, that's how I do it.

 

Also, if I notice she viewed me after I send a message.. i wait 1 day and delete her profile if I got no response.. she's obviously not interested. If she gets back to you in 3-4 days after you see that she was online, you were OBVIOUSLY not her first choice, and I don't like being second..

[meerkat stew]

I tend to get responses within 12-24 hours or not at all.

[USMCHokie]

I understand the nature of online dating...women have many options, many messages, and limited time...so once I send a message, I forget about it...so if she "waits" on responding to the initial message, whatever...it could have been for a number of legit reasons...however, if she makes a habit of purposely delaying her response as if playing a game, then I launch...people who are interested and are emotionally mature don't need to do that bullsh*t...

[zengirl]

So i'm back to online dating recently after a 2-3 year absence. Do some of you women deliberately wait a few days to respond to a message?

 

I have noticed this more on OKC. I send a message to a beautiful and interesting woman. I clearly notice that she has been online and looked at my priofile after I sent the message, and with no response I assumed she wasn't interested. Now 4 different women have suddenly responded after like 3 or 4 days.

 

I don't deliberately wait, but since I always send a real message I sometimes wait till I'm ready to sit down and jot one out. I might read it and then wait a few days to write, based on my own mindset/mood. I usually wait at least a few hours and until another login, because it's easier for me to write after I've thought about it. I find this my way of really "listening" to the other person's message. Especially if it's a first message and I'm going to check out their profile.

 

If I know I don't want to talk to a guy, and I'm going to send a "No, thanks," I write that right away. No need for thinking about what the other person is saying if I'm not interested in having the conversation.

 

3-4 days doesn't seem that long to me for a first response. People have lives. Reading a message takes me about 1 minute. I might do that on my iTouch. But I always compose at a computer, I always think before I compose, and I usually put in genuine effort and thought.

[PhillyDude]

What does it mean when I replied to a woman's profile and she doesn' reply but keeps looking at my profile over and over

 

Is she on medication?-lol

[sugarmomma]

If the guy sends the message while he can clearly see me online, I will respond within the next couple hours. It makes me look flaky if I don't respond and I'm not worried about looking desperate because I know that I am far from it.

 

If he doesn't catch me online I usually respond the next evening. Not into games or men who think that games will make me want him more or think he's interesting. I won't since it produces the opposite effect.

[sugarmomma]

What does it mean when I replied to a woman's profile and she doesn' reply but keeps looking at my profile over and over

 

Is she on medication?-lol

 

Games!!! maybe she doesn't realize you can see her. She's slow and stupid.

[carhill]

What does it mean when I replied to a woman's profile and she doesn' reply but keeps looking at my profile over and over

 

Is she on medication?-lol

Mind-f*ck by proxy

[jadedone]

What does it mean when I replied to a woman's profile and she doesn' reply but keeps looking at my profile over and over

 

Is she on medication?-lol

 

I have one of those. She keeps looking, but hasn't replied, I've been tempted to write again and tease her about it.

[zengirl]

What does it mean when I replied to a woman's profile and she doesn' reply but keeps looking at my profile over and over

 

Is she on medication?-lol

 

It could be a game.

 

But, really, it could be 2 other things:

 

1. She hasn't decided whether she wants to write. This could be because of interest issues or because of other issues---she has someone she's seen a couple times or something, but she's not sure if it's serious or she might want to still see others, etc.

 

2. She hasn't decided WHAT to write. Honestly, I think this happens more than you think. I wrote a fellow who is kind of shy. He was online at the time, looked at my profile, and didn't write me back for 4 days. In between, I saw him looking at my profile a couple times. I didn't cry about it. He later brought it up himself and mentioned how he was totally into me and just a little nervous because he'd had some bad luck lately. We dated for 2 years and lived together and almost got engaged.

[Eeyore79]

I don't always have time to reply right away, but I usually read the message and view the guy's profile, then decide whether to delete his email or respond when I have time. I might view his profile a couple of times to re-read it and decide if I'm interested and what I want to say; I'm probably writing a draft email at the same time, which might take me a couple of days. Maybe I'll view his profile an additional couple of times because I'm showing him to my girlfriends and asking their opinion!

 

If my reply is delayed more than a few days, I'm either insanely busy or more interested in someone else. Sometimes I'll respond to an email from weeks ago because things have fallen through with whichever guy I was interested in, and I'm looking for the next best option. You also have to consider that someone has not necessarily logged in to see your email; if they're not checking the site every day they may not even realise you messaged them.