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I have "forced" someone into catching up with me


SadandConfusedWA

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SadandConfusedWA

There is a guy that I have been friends with for a while. I kind of used to have small crush on him but I never got the feeling that he is interested so nothing ever happened.

 

We lost touch for a while but have been chatting on IM a lot in the last few weeks. Out of nowhere I suggested that we catch up for drinks this weekend. At first he seemed enthusiastic and said "for sure!" but he wouldn't firm up the time and place.

 

Whenever I brought up the subject of meet up over IM, he would change the topic. Still, I didn't let go. So I asked him directly if he can meet me this Saturday night. He responded that he will let me know the next day.

 

This kind of irritated me as I was not sure whenever to make alternate plans for the Saturday with others. So I basically said that it's OK, no need to let me know, I will meet up with my friends and we will catch up another time. To that he responded immediately that he will be free on Saturday evening after all. WTF. So I suggested exact time and place to which he responded "OK".

 

I haven't talked to him since. I feel bad that I have sort of forced him into catching up with me - I shouldn't have pushed so hard.

 

My questions are:

 

Should I contact him to confirm? Despite saying time and place, I am not sure if he will actually show up given his hesitancy. But contacting him again about the meet up would look even more desparate? Should I just turn up there and take my chances?

 

or should I just text him that I can't make it? I mean it's obvious that he is less than enthusiastic about it.

 

Advice?

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Friends? Not a stranger? Mutually agreed to time and place? Just show up, assuming he doesn't cancel or re-schedule in advance. If he's a no-show, he's no friend. Black hole his azz, forever. :)

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Agree with Carhill. Treat it as if you were meeting up with a friend. Your friend says they'll be there, they'll be there or they'll let you know. And yes, if he stands you up, especially with no contact...delete him

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WintersNightTraveler
Should I contact him to confirm? Despite saying time and place, I am not sure if he will actually show up given his hesitancy. But contacting him again about the meet up would look even more desparate?

 

Confirm a couple of hours before the actual meetup and not sooner. Something like a "see you at 6" text sent around 4pm. Throw in one of those winky emoticon things if that's how you roll.

 

You shouldn't be worried about appearing desperate, you should be worried about wasting a trip if he doesn't show up! I don't think the advice so far takes into account how crappy it is to get stood up.

 

 

 

or should I just text him that I can't make it? I mean it's obvious that he is less than enthusiastic about it.

 

Bleh. You'd be upping him on the flakey meter, and it would indicate you were more interested in validation than actually interested in seeing him.

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SadandConfusedWA

Thanks guys. Yeah I AM worried about wasting a trip and getting dressed up and putting make up on for nothing.

 

The problem is, what if text him at say 4 and say "see you at 6pm" and then get no response? I still won't know if a meet up is on or off.

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OP, what is your usual pattern with him? In reading other responses, this came to mind. IMO, don't divert from your usual path. In my case, with friends, plans made days/weeks/months in advance are adhered to, without comment, barring extraordinary circumstances. Your patterns may be/likely are different. Do what is customary for *you*.

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WintersNightTraveler

The problem is, what if text him at say 4 and say "see you at 6pm" and then get no response? I still won't know if a meet up is on or off.

 

I always bring a good book to these things.

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SadandConfusedWA
Why do you keep starting so many pointless threads? Why not stick to one thread so people can follow or not?

 

Just skip over my threads if they bother you :rolleyes:

 

I am multi-dating so there are a few guys around that I need advice on.

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Just skip over my threads if they bother you :rolleyes:

 

I am multi-dating so there are a few guys around that I need advice on.

 

 

exactly. i enjoy your threads especially since i haven't had a date in a few weeks. heehee

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SadandConfusedWA
exactly. i enjoy your threads especially since i haven't had a date in a few weeks. heehee

 

Thanks :)

 

At this pace, I will probably burn out on dating soon.

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