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i wish he would touch me more.


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I've been seeing this guy exclusively for about 3 months, been friends for 3 years (but always had other things/people in the way). It's going pretty well, I find him extremely kind, sensitive and smart, attractive and hes a very creative person. He also gets really depressed sometimes, which ive never battled with.

 

We see each other when we can, he wants my advice on things and is supportive of me, organises dates , as do I, and shares little things with me.

 

He just isn't affectionate..I am...but I find myself holding back big time around this guy because he hardly ever touches me, apart from during sex. Or kisses me. He's said before 'I wish you'd initiate it, I never know when to' etc, just highly awkward about physical intimacy! At the start he was a little more affectionate..but I think it's just him.

 

I love some simple touches from a guy, and someone who likes to kiss. We've even had sex a few times recently where Ive realised afterwards he hasn't kissed me at all during, and I feel kind of strange about that..

 

This is the only one of 4 boyfriends ive had (I'm 25) who have made me think "I wish you'd touch me more!"

 

What can I say or do?

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I can't understand guys that won't touch caress and fondle the daylights out of their women....builds the anticipation ....

 

Sex without touching .... wow .... this confuses Curt.

 

:)

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bunnixkisses

Well first off, you have a pretty awesome guy it seems like. If he organizes dates and is supportive of you and all these great things..you already got more than a lot of women have. I don't think you guys are in the stage of your relationship where you should be expressing how you feel (In guy's wording "nagging") because it will really turn him off. He seems shy, and just "not that kinda guy" to me. He's obviously into you..so I don't think thats an issue. If he gets depressed sometimes, there are probably some self esteem issues that you are not seeing. And for the sake of helping you out, i'm going to tell you about ME. I "get depressed" sometimes as well, and my self esteem...sucks. It's one of those things you just can't change when it is a psychological thing. I hate making the moves on my boyfriend because it makes me feel like I like him more than he likes me (which I know is stupid) or whatever. Having sex and doing the touchy feely stuff is made to make people feel special...which is by he wants you to intiate it. Chances are..making the moves doesn't make him feel good but getting it from you, does. I would wait it out a bit...try making the moves or intiating it more often. Than both of you will get a feel for what feels right and how both of you like to be touched and when. This way, he wont feel so stupid when he does it :p If it doesn't get better in a couple months or so..tell him how it makes you feel. Sounds like he will be understanding

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Untouchable_Fire

He just isn't affectionate..I am...but I find myself holding back big time around this guy because he hardly ever touches me, apart from during sex. Or kisses me. He's said before 'I wish you'd initiate it, I never know when to' etc, just highly awkward about physical intimacy! At the start he was a little more affectionate..but I think it's just him.

 

What can I say or do?

 

Actually, just based on what you have posted here... your giving him bad signals. You need to make him feel like you want him to touch you.

 

When you hear a guy say "I never know when to"... that means your putting off mixed signals. Fix it by initiating a lot of affection with him for a month or so. Then see if he picks it up and changes behavior.

 

I dated a girl one time that would always tell me to back off and ask for space... then turn around and tell me I wasn't affectionate enough. Make sure your not doing anything like that.

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