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is he lying? or honestly feels he's not good enough??


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I've been on and off hanging out/ dating a guy for the best part of 2 years. I recently met up with him for lunch after not seeing him for several months. The main reason was for him to apologize. He's been screwing me around since we met.

I really like this guy, and ever since we met, we'll hang out, eat out, see movies, cuddle, kiss a little. He always says he wants to take things slow and see what happens. I never put any pressure on him, but i'll feel that were starting to get close, and maybe i'll get my chance at starting a relationship with him...and then he'll do what he always does....and disappear! The sometimes weeks or a month later of no contact..i'll find out that he's dating someone else, then he'll break up with them...start talking with me..and the entire cycle happens all over again.

When I recently met him for lunch he put his cards on the table and actually gave me an explanation for his actions over the last 2 years.

 

He said he feels he's never been good enough for me. I know his self esteem is in the gutter..and he's never thought highly of himself. He told me he thinks about me all the time, even when we are going through one of our quiet periods, he misses me, gets upset that he never gave us a fair chance to start something, and he knows i'm exactly what he;s looking for, but whenever we do get close, he gets terrified that hes not good enough, so he pours cold water all over my actions, shuts down, stops talking, then finds these girls that he knows hes not attracted too (physically or emtionally) because then in his words "he feels he'll have nothing to prove to them".

 

My questions to you all is:

Is this even possible? can a guy push something away that honestly makes him happy...because he honestly feels he's not good enough. Or is he feeding me a bunch of hogwash...and i'm just sloppy seconds to him??

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I've been on and off hanging out/ dating a guy for the best part of 2 years. I recently met up with him for lunch after not seeing him for several months. The main reason was for him to apologize. He's been screwing me around since we met.

I really like this guy, and ever since we met, we'll hang out, eat out, see movies, cuddle, kiss a little. He always says he wants to take things slow and see what happens. I never put any pressure on him, but i'll feel that were starting to get close, and maybe i'll get my chance at starting a relationship with him...and then he'll do what he always does....and disappear! The sometimes weeks or a month later of no contact..i'll find out that he's dating someone else, then he'll break up with them...start talking with me..and the entire cycle happens all over again.

When I recently met him for lunch he put his cards on the table and actually gave me an explanation for his actions over the last 2 years.

 

He said he feels he's never been good enough for me. I know his self esteem is in the gutter..and he's never thought highly of himself. He told me he thinks about me all the time, even when we are going through one of our quiet periods, he misses me, gets upset that he never gave us a fair chance to start something, and he knows i'm exactly what he;s looking for, but whenever we do get close, he gets terrified that hes not good enough, so he pours cold water all over my actions, shuts down, stops talking, then finds these girls that he knows hes not attracted too (physically or emtionally) because then in his words "he feels he'll have nothing to prove to them".

 

My questions to you all is:

Is this even possible? can a guy push something away that honestly makes him happy...because he honestly feels he's not good enough. Or is he feeding me a bunch of hogwash...and i'm just sloppy seconds to him??

 

He is full of sh*t! He is talking crap, there is not a guy out there who would say he is not good enough for someone.

 

he feels he's never been good enough for me. I know his self esteem is in the gutter..and he's never thought highly of himself. He told me he thinks about me all the time, even when we are going through one of our quiet periods, he misses me, gets upset that he never gave us a fair chance to start something, and he knows i'm exactly what he;s looking for, but whenever we do get close, he gets terrified that hes not good enough, so he pours cold water all over my actions, shuts down, stops talking, then finds these girls that he knows hes not attracted too (physically or emtionally) because then in his words "he feels he'll have nothing to prove to them".

= HE IS NOT THAT INTO YOU and he is using you as a back burner girl

 

If you allow him to do this then you are just as much to blame and I am sure you are worth much more than this BS ... are you?

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kiss_andmakeup

Yikes, I hate to say it but his self esteem is not the only one in the gutter! Why would you let him jerk you around like this? Don't you feel that you are good enough for a real relationship with a guy who cares about you?

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Serenitynow
He's been screwing me around since we met.

I really like this guy,

 

You've known this for 2 years and continue to see him ?

 

I keep saying it over and over.

 

THIS thread is exactly what guys talk about when we say girls like A-holes.

 

Eventually she will get mad and give up on this loser, but she will then label all guys as jerks because its easier on her conscious to blame him instead of taking repsonsibility for her stupid judgment.

 

NOW you see why guys treat girls this way. Because the guy that treat women with respect are alone typing on forums, and the jerks are out with girls.

 

.

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Serenitynow

I forgot to add the fact the this guy is using the " reverse breakup " method.

 

He tells her its a problem with him, and not her fault. That way he doesnt have to get his hands dirty.

 

 

.

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When I recently met him for lunch he put his cards on the table and actually gave me an explanation for his actions over the last 2 years.

 

He said he feels he's never been good enough for me. I know his self esteem is in the gutter..and he's never thought highly of himself. He told me he thinks about me all the time, even when we are going through one of our quiet periods, he misses me, gets upset that he never gave us a fair chance to start something, and he knows i'm exactly what he;s looking for, but whenever we do get close, he gets terrified that hes not good enough, so he pours cold water all over my actions, shuts down, stops talking, then finds these girls that he knows hes not attracted too (physically or emtionally) because then in his words "he feels he'll have nothing to prove to them".

I don't believe a word of this is true. He's using you and I would not be surprised if he's stringing several other women along too.

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thank you everyone. Your right..im definately letting him do this to me. Its just as much my fault as it is his. I do just fine when he is not contacting me...then i get lovesick all over again.

Ya'll are right..i need to just stop responding...and kick him out of my life.

Silence is golden...and that'll give him the perfect message about how I feel

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From the way you describe his behavior it definitely sounds like you're getting played, Sara. It could very well be that he actually feels the way he says he does, but what difference does it make? He's still screwing you over and what does he expect you to do about it? He's either a consumate player and/or an emotional adolescent. Either way you're getting used.

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You've known this for 2 years and continue to see him ?

 

I keep saying it over and over.

 

THIS thread is exactly what guys talk about when we say girls like A-holes.

 

Eventually she will get mad and give up on this loser, but she will then label all guys as jerks because its easier on her conscious to blame him instead of taking repsonsibility for her stupid judgment.

 

NOW you see why guys treat girls this way. Because the guy that treat women with respect are alone typing on forums, and the jerks are out with girls.

 

.

How many siliar stories are on this forum every day? :mad:

 

This is all part of what makes finding a good woman so tough.

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thank you everyone. Your right..im definately letting him do this to me. Its just as much my fault as it is his. I do just fine when he is not contacting me...then i get lovesick all over again.

Ya'll are right..i need to just stop responding...and kick him out of my life.

Silence is golden...and that'll give him the perfect message about how I feel

Kicking him out of your life means not responding to his tearful messages of how much he misses you and his romantic offers to get you back. It is all a fake show that will be put on long enough to get you back before turning back into his normal self.

 

No contact whatsoever is the only way to move on from someone like him.

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thanks everyone

I deserve better, i just have to see him for what he really is..a ASSH*LE

 

the definition of insanity is seeing the same behavior and expecting different results

 

My name is Sara....and i've been insane for 2 years

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He said he feels he's never been good enough for me.
When a guy tells you he's not good enough for you...believe him.

 

Because he's NOT good enough for you.

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Serenitynow
My name is Sara....and i've been insane for 2 years

 

 

Finally on the road to recovery

 

 

.

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