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How do I deal with an alcoholic, teenage girlfriend?


mike999984

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mike999984

I copied my message from "Addictions" to here, because this forum appears to relate to the same subject, and there are more people looking here

 

 

 

My girlfriend is a wonderful, sweet, kind, funny, beautiful, and, bottom-line, amazing girl. Before I had gone out with her, I knew that she had drunk in the past, but she promised me she would never get drunk again. She had occasionally had a drink of wine after we had gone out, given to her by her parents, but I didn't think much of it. Last night, she got on Facebook, and we talked. I started to notice that her words constantly were misspelled or had many extra letters. I asked her, and she admitted she chugged "a beer" to get buzzed, but I noticed it rapidly got worse, and she started asking for sex and saying she needed sex, even though before we went out, we both set the boundaries to not. When I told her she was drunk, at first she said she was only buzzed, but finally said that she was drunk. I kept telling her how I was hurt that she promised me that she wouldn't get drunk, but did anyways, and she just yelled at me and accused me of trying to change her. When I ask her why she drinks, she says it helps her and tastes good. She refuses to accept that she is addicted. I have told her that if she doesn't stop drinking that I have no choice but to break up with her, but I don't want to, since it could only make her problems worse. I know she has had terrible past relationships, as two involved sex (one only had sex once, the other twice). Although it is irrelevant, she is still friends with one of the exes that had sex with her, and told her yesterday that another ex had previously gotten her drunk and tried to rape her.

 

How do I convince her that the drinking isn't helping her at all, and that she is addicted to it?

 

I can't expect help from her family, as they all drink. Her mom and dad both had two children before getting married, and her sister of sixteen is pregnant, emancipated, and engaged. She, my girlfriend, is fifteen. I'm afraid that if I don't help her, her problems are only going to get worse as she gets older.

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How do I deal with an alcoholic, teenage girlfriend?

 

 

By leaving her. You don't need to play hero.

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TaraMaiden

In a word?

 

Walk.

 

Away.

 

Ok, that's 2 words.

 

Think of it as emphasis.

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Maggotface

Facebook, almost raped, alcoholic, and only at 15? This just screams drama. Get away and fast! She is only going to make your life drama filled and complicated.

I know you care about her and want to help but girls at that age wont listen, try her parents anyway they're older and should be more reasonable. Her parents wont be drinking constantly, get them alone and let them know that their daughter can NOT handle alcohol, it gets her in a lot of bad situations and she needs help.

 

Plus, I would reevaluate the things she has told you about her sex life. She's only had sex a few times but when she gets drunk she begs you for sex and says she needs it knowing you guys said you'd wait? Sounds fishy.

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Her parents give her alcohol, her parents are alcoholics, she's grown up in an environment that is dysfunctional, but that's all she knows.

 

I'd say this is more drama than a young, healthy guy like yourself should have to deal with at your age.

 

From her perspective, drinking is a "normal" way of making it through the day.

 

As others have said, you could try to be the hero, or waste energy being her "saviour"... But you won't win.

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You have TWO options:

 

#1 - Dump her.

 

#2 - Take her to that show "Intervention" on A&E, come across as the concerned boyfriend. Then dump her once the episode airs and profit off your 15 minutes of fame.

 

Either way, you dump her.

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SincereOnlineGuy
I copied my message from "Addictions" to here, because this forum appears to relate to the same subject, and there are more people looking here

 

 

 

My girlfriend is a wonderful, sweet, kind, funny, beautiful, and, bottom-line, amazing girl. Before I had gone out with her, I knew that she had drunk in the past, but she promised me she would never get drunk again. She had occasionally had a drink of wine after we had gone out, given to her by her parents, but I didn't think much of it. Last night, she got on Facebook, and we talked. I started to notice that her words constantly were misspelled or had many extra letters. I asked her, and she admitted she chugged "a beer" to get buzzed, but I noticed it rapidly got worse, and she started asking for sex and saying she needed sex, even though before we went out, we both set the boundaries to not. When I told her she was drunk, at first she said she was only buzzed, but finally said that she was drunk. I kept telling her how I was hurt that she promised me that she wouldn't get drunk, but did anyways, and she just yelled at me and accused me of trying to change her. When I ask her why she drinks, she says it helps her and tastes good. She refuses to accept that she is addicted. I have told her that if she doesn't stop drinking that I have no choice but to break up with her, but I don't want to, since it could only make her problems worse. I know she has had terrible past relationships, as two involved sex (one only had sex once, the other twice). Although it is irrelevant, she is still friends with one of the exes that had sex with her, and told her yesterday that another ex had previously gotten her drunk and tried to rape her.

 

How do I convince her that the drinking isn't helping her at all, and that she is addicted to it?

 

I can't expect help from her family, as they all drink. Her mom and dad both had two children before getting married, and her sister of sixteen is pregnant, emancipated, and engaged. She, my girlfriend, is fifteen. I'm afraid that if I don't help her, her problems are only going to get worse as she gets older.

 

 

She IS an alcoholic. Break up with her at once, for your own sake.

 

You simply do not need that in your life.

 

You are taking the first steps toward being the "caretaker" all your life, and the early impressions you're about to get will tether you to just such a role for a long, long while.

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xpaperxcutx

If she had wanted help she would have voluntarily entered AA. A troubled person, especially teenagers don't want help unless they receive intervention or hit rock bottom.

 

I understand you want to help her, but given her family situation and her need to drink to escape, you either have to be really strong for her and get her help or walk away from it all.

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