Guy in his 50's won't date single moms.

[ecto-1]

I was talking to this guy, he's in his mid 50's, apparently he's tried a stab at dating single mothers, and just found out it doesn't work for him.

 

The dude is in his 50's, and I kind of looked at him shockingly, "But you're 55, most kids of women YOUR age are adults!!"

 

And he says, "Doesn't matter, you still have to deal with them in some way."

 

That being said, I'm in my late 30's now, and I USED to have a "No dating single mother policy when I was younger, but now as I get OLDER, I'm finding most women to have children.

 

So I am thinking, "Well, I'm 38, I might as well be a bit more flexible, because most women my age that single, never married, and no kids....are still looking for their 'prince' with their unrealistic expectations"

 

And single moms, being as plentiful as they are around my age, well, I'll should be more flexible.

 

 

Main question here is gentlemen, as you get older, if you had taken issue in the past of dating single mothers, are you more likely to date single moms as you get older if you're still single?

 

Have you found yourself changing your criteria because of this?

[ADF]

And he says, "Doesn't matter, you still have to deal with them in some way."

 

Wow. That is a pretty callous attitude. Are kids so horrible that merely having to deal with them "in some way" is totally unacceptable?

 

Your 50-something friend sounds terribly immature. Guys in their 20s often have the attitude that woman were put on earth to provide them with custom-fit GFs. They don't realize that life is messy, and that all people have "baggage" of one kind or another.

 

But for a man in his 50s to still think that way is bizarre. I'd say his dating pool is going to be pretty small.

[Green]

I'm in my 20's and NO WAY would I want to date a woman with kids. I really don't see this policy changing when I become older. If I were 38 and I couldn't find any women with out kids I would just date YOUNGER women who didn't have kids.

[jamal]

Funny enough, women are more accommodating in this regard. Very few women will pass up a man with kids (even those women in their 20s).

[ADF]

I'm in my 20's and NO WAY would I want to date a woman with kids. I really don't see this policy changing when I become older. If I were 38 and I couldn't find any women with out kids I would just date YOUNGER women who didn't have kids.

 

Maybe this should be a seperate thread, but I hope you'll indulge me for a minute.

 

Exacty what is it about kids that makes a woman so undesirable? I am not being sarcastic--I really want to know. Is it the kids themselves that are the problem? Is it the ongoing presence of the kids' father in the woman's life? I just wonder what, specifically, men who won't date women with kids worry about the most.

[Diezel]

What's wrong with the guy in his 50's who won't date single moms?

If that's his opinion, then good for him. At least he KNOWS what he wants to date and what he doesn't and he'll stick by it.

 

He won't go out there leading on single moms just for some action.

 

His dating pool might be smaller, but that's HIS problem.

If he's happy that way, who are any of we to judge him?

 

 

As I've grown older, I've noticed that my criteria has shifted, although not necessarily changed. I don't date single moms either. Does that make me a terrible person? No. It just means that I have a set of criteria that I like to keep when dating someone. Just as I wouldn't date people with certain personality traits or physical traits.

[Jersey Shortie]

Is he looking to have kids of his own still? Because if he isn't, then I can understand that he has a certain lifestyle he is happy with that doesn't envolve children. If he is looking to haave kids, and his criteria is women with no kids, ummm he is going to be single for a long time. He's not exactly anywhere near his prime anymore.

[O'Malley]

It's not an issue, as long as he accepts the fact that the amount of women that will fit his criteria will be rather small at his age range. If he'd rather be single than date a parent, that's his choice.

 

If an individual isn't a kid person or simply has interests or a lifestyle that isn't conductive to family priorities (the other parent included, to some extent) it makes no sense for them to date parents -- especially a good parent who will tend to put his/her adult children's needs first.

[New Jersey 44]

It's his choice and should be up front about it, but he is being picky. He has no room to whine that there's no one for him if he's going to be that picky.

[Green]

Maybe this should be a seperate thread, but I hope you'll indulge me for a minute.

 

Exacty what is it about kids that makes a woman so undesirable? I am not being sarcastic--I really want to know. Is it the kids themselves that are the problem? Is it the ongoing presence of the kids' father in the woman's life? I just wonder what, specifically, men who won't date women with kids worry about the most.

 

Your a man don't you realize all the negatives. It just kills the attraction if I find out a woman has kids.

 

You listed The kids themselves which is anoying. Then of course dealing with another man who will be in your womans life aka the baby dady. Then their are the financial considerations of having to take care of children that are not yours if you get married. I also want to have kids of my own one day and rather not have to put some one elses kids into the math of "I already have 2 kids so I'd only be willing to have one more or I don't want more"

 

So yeah there are a lot of reasons not to date a woman with kids. Main reason is I lose attraction probably for the reasons above. I just don't like the idea of being with a woman who has another mans kids.

[primer]

Very few women will pass up a man with kids

 

I am a woman and I have no interest in a man with kids. I never wanted kids of my own and I never wanted to deal with someone elses kids.

 

I like to do spur of the moment things, travel and have extra money. Kids would cause problems for these things.

[carhill]

Main question here is gentlemen, as you get older, if you had taken issue in the past of dating single mothers, are you more likely to date single moms as you get older if you're still single?

 

Have you found yourself changing your criteria because of this?

 

IMO and IME, having done this, it's situational. If adult children (and grandchildren) consume the woman's life, she's not available for a relationship with *me*. No problem. Happy she has a full life. It won't be with *me*.

[Els]

Your a man don't you realize all the negatives. It just kills the attraction if I find out a woman has kids.

 

You listed The kids themselves which is anoying. Then of course dealing with another man who will be in your womans life aka the baby dady. Then their are the financial considerations of having to take care of children that are not yours if you get married. I also want to have kids of my own one day and rather not have to put some one elses kids into the math of "I already have 2 kids so I'd only be willing to have one more or I don't want more"

 

So yeah there are a lot of reasons not to date a woman with kids. Main reason is I lose attraction probably for the reasons above. I just don't like the idea of being with a woman who has another mans kids.

 

Am I the only one who finds it bizarre that you refuse to use condoms yet think single mothers are so very terrible? What'll you do with the accidental kid that you're sure to have one of these days, I wonder? Oh wait, you being a single dad is cool, but single moms are totally not cool, eh?

[Untouchable_Fire]

Am I the only one who finds it bizarre that you refuse to use condoms yet think single mothers are so very terrible? What'll you do with the accidental kid that you're sure to have one of these days, I wonder? Oh wait, you being a single dad is cool, but single moms are totally not cool, eh?

 

It's only a contradiction if he doesn't like kids at all. Unless you expect that men don't see the difference between their kids and another guys kids...?

[Els]

The contradiction is that if he begets a woman with child and ends up breaking up with her, he'll be a SINGLE DAD. A single dad who is totally against dating single moms. Doesn't it sound funny to you?

[Stung]

Oh noes if I ever get divorced Green won't want to date me.

[melodymatters]

Thats actually pretty bizzare, as he's ruling out woman who could have 30 year old married adult children who just as likely live in other states !

 

How would he have to "deal with them" anymore than he might have to deal with a womans sister, friends, parents etc.?

 

Sounds like he needs 100% of a womans attention which is unattractive enough in it's own right.

 

.

[BS76]

I was talking to this guy, he's in his mid 50's, apparently he's tried a stab at dating single mothers, and just found out it doesn't work for him.

 

The dude is in his 50's, and I kind of looked at him shockingly, "But you're 55, most kids of women YOUR age are adults!!"

 

And he says, "Doesn't matter, you still have to deal with them in some way."

 

That being said, I'm in my late 30's now, and I USED to have a "No dating single mother policy when I was younger, but now as I get OLDER, I'm finding most women to have children.

 

So I am thinking, "Well, I'm 38, I might as well be a bit more flexible, because most women my age that single, never married, and no kids....are still looking for their 'prince' with their unrealistic expectations"

 

And single moms, being as plentiful as they are around my age, well, I'll should be more flexible.

 

 

Main question here is gentlemen, as you get older, if you had taken issue in the past of dating single mothers, are you more likely to date single moms as you get older if you're still single?

 

Have you found yourself changing your criteria because of this?

 

I'm with the older guy. I dabbled with single mothers and never will again. It's bad enough dating women with dogs because they're tied to the house and can't be gone longer than 8 hours at a time. Kids amplify that kind of difficulty by orders of magnitude, not to mention I don't want to be paying for or eventually raising some other guy's kid. That's the long term prospects of dating single mothers. IF things work out between you two now you're inheriting another kid as well.

[Feelin Frisky]

It's pretty rare to find a woman who doesn't have serious skeletons in her closet who is young-looking/pretty and has never given birth. So, if this guy wants a relationship and is holding out until he finds miss perfect, he'll probably die of old age first. It's pretty dumb to write off ALL women because they have had a child or a few--especially if the kids are grown. I recently had strong feelings for a woman who had 3 kids, the youngest being 21--she was a 44 year old grandma. The feelings were returned too. I would gladly have married her but the effects she had of having had two strokes made her forgetful and it seemed she only thought about me when I was in her presence. The deal-breaker was that she smoked and was continuing to smoke. I want a relationship with someone who takes care of herself and plans on being alive for a while.

[C-i-C-u]

Funny enough, women are more accommodating in this regard. Very few women will pass up a man with kids (even those women in their 20s).

Yeah but it is highly unlikely that a man will have the children with him if he did sire them. I mean they wouldn't be around most kids stay with their mothers its why there are more women who have kids by themselves and men who do not. What I am saying is that is the reason why must women are tolerate of a man and his kids because they know that many of them are single mothers who might end up with some guys children without the guy in the picture.

[Green]

Am I the only one who finds it bizarre that you refuse to use condoms yet think single mothers are so very terrible? What'll you do with the accidental kid that you're sure to have one of these days, I wonder? Oh wait, you being a single dad is cool, but single moms are totally not cool, eh?

 

I don't refuse to use condoms. I'm just not into using them with my seriouse gf.

 

Considering I DON'T HAVE KIDS why should I be willing to date women who do? Maybe if I had kids with a woman I was no longer involved with it would change my mind. BUT THAT IS NOT MY SITUATION.

 

It's only a contradiction if he doesn't like kids at all. Unless you expect that men don't see the difference between their kids and another guys kids...?

 

It's only a contradiction because she chooses to see it that way.

 

The contradiction is that if he begets a woman with child and ends up breaking up with her, he'll be a SINGLE DAD. A single dad who is totally against dating single moms. Doesn't it sound funny to you?

 

By the way you are probably the ONLY person who thought I meant I would refuse to date a woman I MYSELF IMPREGNATED.

 

I was talking about single mothers impregnated BY OTHER MEN.

 

I'm sorry if I don't believe in WAITING UNTIL MARRIAGE to have SEX because that really is the only sure fire way.

 

Oh noes if I ever get divorced Green won't want to date me.

 

I probably wouldn't even look at you.

 

It's pretty rare to find a woman who doesn't have serious skeletons in her closet who is young-looking/pretty and has never given birth. So, if this guy wants a relationship and is holding out until he finds miss perfect, he'll probably die of old age first.

 

I never settle in LOVE or LIFE. You are right it is rare, but I never wanted to date/marry average.

[Woggle]

Being a single mom certainly is a red flag but I would have to get to know more.

[Green]

Being a single mom certainly is a red flag but I would have to get to know more.

 

Women are offended to even hear that. For me being a single mom is END OF STORY.

 

I feel that the MEN who do date single MOMS feel they are getting a deal. What I mean by that is they feel they are dating a women they could not have normaly gotten or more likely they feel they can't get a woman with out kids.

[Green]

See, it just doesn't bother me to hear men that don't want to date single moms. At least they know and aren't leading anyone on. As a single mom, I don't want to date someone who wouldn't like or who would resent my children and who would waste my time pretending that isn't the case. So it's fair

 

It does make my dating pool smaller, and the older a man gets it makes his dating pool smaller, but that's perfectly okay because we all deserve to have what we feel is best for us.

 

Well that sounds like a sensible post.

[Gold Pile]

Women with children and no man are often so restricted by their kids (in many ways) that they have issues trying to get laid. Odds are they had much sex in their lifes...now it's gone....and they WANT it bad. It works for me.

They can swing by my place for an hour after work. I'll get a motel room near their home so they can "run to the store"....40 minutes later they're back home and I've been laid.