Jump to content

What does it mean to be good friends with a shy guy?


sunshinestate

Recommended Posts

sunshinestate

Sorry this is so long, but any advice would be great!

 

So, the background of my dilemma goes a little something like this:

 

Met a guy on an online dating site in February. We exchanged emails until the end of April when we finally moved to talking on the phone and a sending a few casual text messages. We had our first date in early May. Since moving away from just emails, we have had four dates.

 

Things got messy last week when something happened that involved a friend of mine and the same online dating site (pure coincidence). Things were said and apologies were made. I decided to forgive and forget the incident and continue as before.

 

Since then the guy has stated that we have a great time together and for the first time feels like he has gone out on dates that are comfortable and uncomplicated and he really likes me. However, this weekend I get an email from his stating the following:

 

"I think we both agree that we can have a fun time together. Therefore it would be great if we could try to continue it.

 

My wish would be to start this in an uncomplicated, casual way. As friends or good friends doing fun stuff (which should not exclude good, serious conversations) first.

 

I shall promise to be honest and discuss any problems (i.e. if it is moving too fast, worries, etc.) that could come along.

 

But being friends should be straightforward and not complicated. Something for what we would not need to think that much about.

 

If we would decide to move further, this would need to be careful and we (especially me) should really talk more about how one feels."

 

To be fair, he told me he lacks experience and the little experience he does have is negative (incl. cheating gf and gfs falling in love with others while dating him). He is relatively shy and a bit socially awkward.

 

I am not sure what to make of his above email and what to do next. Is this a nice way of saying he doesn't want to date me or is this a really about moving slowly? We have had 4 great dates and exchanged countless emails. We have a lot in common and have fun when together. I am in no rush for anything and like things slow (we have only held hands) as he said he does as well.

 

How do I proceed? Prior to last week things were uncomplicated and fun. Because he is on the shy side, I also helped to initiate dates and emails rather than expect him to do it all. Should I continue that way or let him make the move when he is ready to?

 

Any insight is much appreciated!

 

SunshineState

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...