Amount of communication?

[Marks]

So I've been going through a weird phase lately. I've recently been going out with this girl for about seven weeks now (about once per week) and it feels like things are going relatively well. The pace has felt a bit slower than I'm used to compared to past relationships, but I've had no indication that it's due to lack of interest.

 

My question at this point is how much communication with the other person is enough/too much? We see each other once a week, but I send the occasional text during the week or call once, but I feel like I'd want to talk to her more than that, but I'm concerned that she'll see me as needy or something. On the other hand, I'm concerned that if I don't communicate enough, she'll think that I'm not interested enough in her.

 

We both live pretty busy lives trying to balance school/jobs and other stuff, but I'm unsure at this point how to balance the communication. My feelings towards her make me want to talk more, but I don't want to annoy her either.

[Green]

As a man you are always better off over estimating a womans interest then underestimating her interest. Face your fear of rejection and push things as far as you think they will go. Just use your judgment and don't be afraid of rejection. 7 weeks is a long time, just do what feels right. Have you had sex yet? if not what have you done... seen her naked?

[Aulie]

I think you should definitely start initiating more contact. It's time to amp up the communication if you want to start getting more serious. The worst that could happen is you realize she's not that interested in progressing your relationship past casual dating. In that case you either move on, or keep it casual if you're happy with that.

[Marks]

Have you had sex yet? if not what have you done... seen her naked?

 

No I haven't, the only thing we've done is kiss briefly and that was only last week! Even then it was only the second time, it took about four or five hours of hanging out at her place to get to it, and then she made a comment about my facial hair being rough which suggested to me that she wasn't enjoying it! On the other hand, she's always said that she's had a good time with me .

 

Compared to my last relationship, this is going at a snail's pace. I don't know, maybe I haven't been forward enough or she just goes slowly, but it's part of the reason why I have reservations as to what her intentions are, and why I'm concerned.

 

I'd try calling her more often, but I know she's very busy, often late into the night, and I don't want to disturb her that late, knowing that she has to get up early in the morning.

 

Texting wise I always get the impression that girls think it's cowardly and so I don't want to do it too much. But because I never know when she's free to talk on the phone, I feel like I don't have any other way to communicate.

 

These concerns may seem silly, but I just haven't dealt with a busy girl before, and I'm still having a hard time reading her feelings. My past gf always seemed to have time to talk/text (even early in the relationship), so I never felt like I was a bother.

[make me believe]

Gosh, that's a REALLY slow pace. Only two kisses in seven weeks? Are you sure she's interested in you romantically? How old are you two? If you don't want to disturb her with phonecalls (although if you're disturbing her she always has the option to not answer), a text is fine. Just tell her that you wanted to say hi/were thinking about her but didn't want to interrupt her work.

 

But I gotta be honest, this doesn't look great from my perspective. I'm a firm believer that if someone is interested in you, they will MAKE time for you. And I can't imagine only kissing my BF twice in the first seven weeks that I knew him.. the attraction was so strong between us that I couldn't NOT make out with him whenever I had a chance!

[Bartender]

you've kissed twice in 7 weeks and she actually complained about your facial hair when you did:eek:

 

sorry bro, she's not that into you

 

if i don't kiss somebody by the second date it's usually because there's no chemistry and it's time to move on

[Marks]

Yeah, I really don't know. It's really hard to read her. I'm not sure what I am to her. We "cuddled" for a very long time prior to that second brief makeout session, and she seemed very into that. Maybe I'm just a bad kisser?

 

We're both in college so schedules don't always mesh. But I do feel like if two people like each other, they'd be willing to move things around to be together for at least a little bit.