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When to make other plans?


LoveLace

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The new online guy I've talked to and clicked pretty well with, asked me out by the end of the 1st phone call, then said he would call again to actually set up the date.

 

Then he emailed me to ask about a specific day for the date. I wrote back that I'm available (this was Friday and he asked about next Saturday), and said to call me to talk about the details. But I informed him that I work night shifts this week so I do work until 10pm and I'll return a call if I should miss it. When there I rarely can get a signal or even use the phone, so I'd hope he would know to leave a voice mail..

 

He wrote back and acknowledged that I'm working nights and again said, I'll call you to set everything up. Today is Wednesday and he hasn't called yet, if not by tonight I'm wondering if he will call at all, should I give him until Friday before I make other plans for Saturday or what? What timeline is acceptable for making the final plans here?

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make other plans, if he calls and wants to do something make it clear that if he was really interested he should have moved when you gave him the A-OK. Lets say it's just laying the rules of the relationship down, and I as a guy wouldn't be terribly offended about this as I knew I should have called sooner.

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make other plans, if he calls and wants to do something make it clear that if he was really interested he should have moved when you gave him the A-OK. Lets say it's just laying the rules of the relationship down, and I as a guy wouldn't be terribly offended about this as I knew I should have called sooner.

 

Ok I know he works during the day today, so i'll see if he calls tonight, guess I'll call it a no-go after that.

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Early on like this, I would want to lock in the date. A week ahead of time, 3 days minimum.

 

He may just be busy and unable to call. But he could also have you in line as a back-up (or one of several back ups).

 

I think this is one of the big pitfalls of online dating -- it makes people (especially men) feel like kids in a candy store because they have so many people to pick from. Even after a few dates (and having sex with you), they want to keep looking to see who else might be out there. In real life, you rarely meet more than one woman at a time who is attractive, interested and available.

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Early on like this, I would want to lock in the date. A week ahead of time, 3 days minimum.

 

He may just be busy and unable to call. But he could also have you in line as a back-up (or one of several back ups).

 

I think this is one of the big pitfalls of online dating -- it makes people (especially men) feel like kids in a candy store because they have so many people to pick from. Even after a few dates (and having sex with you), they want to keep looking to see who else might be out there. In real life, you rarely meet more than one woman at a time who is attractive, interested and available.

 

Oh yes that concept is so very true and my only pet peeve about online dating..tooo many options for everyone. However it doesn't appear that he's online there very often, aside from emailing me...since Monday it doesn't appear he's been on there at all. Which would go with the "busy" idea. To me it was "locked in" when we agreed on Saturday...and that was 6 days before the supposed date. However now being 3 days before, the day is set but details are not.

 

I'm also not sure why, when saying he would call, he went backwards to email instead to say he really liked talking to me and we agreed on Saturday at that point. Again, 6 days before the fact. Fine, just saying, not sure why he didn't just call again instead of emailing.

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So now someone (who is a guy) has suggested I call HIM if I want to know about the plans that much. But for some reason I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that?

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ReadyforLove

If you are not comfortable with it then don't do it. He said he would call you to confirm so let him follow through. I would give him until Thursday and then make other plans.

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If you are not comfortable with it then don't do it. He said he would call you to confirm so let him follow through. I would give him until Thursday and then make other plans.

 

Sounds fair enough...thanks

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To me, calling and emailing are pretty much the same thing. Early on I usually prefer calling just to give her a little taste of my irresistible charm, but I wouldn't put any weight into emailing vs. calling.

 

I personally would have no problem with a woman calling me for details if we had a date set, but that's just me. Of course, I would also call a few days beforehand so as to be courteous and (most importantly) make sure she hasn't forgotten!

 

But I agree -- if you don't feel comfortable calling, don't do it. Let him chase you. Most of us like chasing. . . ..

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