norajane Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 So after a long time, I finally went to dinner with a guy I really like and we had a great time, except it wasn't really a date. Or was it? I met him 3 months ago at work. We're colleagues and work on a project together now, but our offices are mostly virtual so we don't actually see each other frequently. We have a great relationship, and he's smart as hell, funny, easy to talk with and easy to be with. He asked me to dinner to celebrate a great first quarter close, but it sure felt like a date. A great date. But in our industry, the lines are blurred as far as professional and social interaction goes. We take business contacts to lunch and dinner all the time, so I'm not entirely sure if he asked me out in a professional or personal way. I guess I'll have to wait and see. It's all in the follow-up, right? Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I heard someone on the radio that I listen to talk about marriage & if it's o.k. to do things with the opposite sex & he said; if you are with the opposite sex & alone, eating, hiking, dancing, etc. it is a date. Doesn't matter if anyone asked or not. If you are interested is it o.k. to ask him out? Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I always get a "happy feeling" when you post, and for you to actually start a thread....!!!!! Of course, thats prob why you don't start many : you KNOW what to do. I'm glad you had a lovely time, and yes, all you can do is wait for the follow up ! Keep us posted ! MM Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted April 3, 2010 Author Share Posted April 3, 2010 (edited) I heard someone on the radio that I listen to talk about marriage & if it's o.k. to do things with the opposite sex & he said; if you are with the opposite sex & alone, eating, hiking, dancing, etc. it is a date. Doesn't matter if anyone asked or not. I don't know if I agree with that. I think the difference in whether it's a date or not is the intention behind it. If you are interested is it o.k. to ask him out? I could ask him out, but in my experience, it usually works out a lot better if the man does the asking in the beginning. If he's not really interested in me enough to ask me out, my asking him out isn't going to make him any more interested, you know? I always get a "happy feeling" when you post, and for you to actually start a thread....!!!!! What a sweet thing to say - thank you! Of course, thats prob why you don't start many : you KNOW what to do. Oh, no! Not at all! It's so easy to be objective and give advice to other people, but when it comes to my own personal life, I'm as much or more of a mess than anyone! I'm glad you had a lovely time, and yes, all you can do is wait for the follow up ! Keep us posted !Thank you! I hope I do have something to update you on. Edited April 3, 2010 by norajane Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Ooooohhh fun stuff!!! Keep us updated!! Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Time will tell nj! But I think you're an intuitive person so you're more than capable of differentiating between interest and just friendliness/business networking. The question is more, will he act on this attraction or will he keep it to a professional/friendly distance? And this is where time tells all. Good luck and I mean that sincerely! Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted April 3, 2010 Author Share Posted April 3, 2010 TBF, I'd like to think I'm intuitive enough to tell the difference, but it's harder since he's naturally friendly and outgoing, and I'm afraid wishful thinking might be clouding my super-powers. The professional relationship...yeah, that's a complication. I have a feeling it may end up being a slow-burn, if anything. And Star, yes, it is fun stuff! It's really been such a long time that I've had this kind of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
tommyr Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 I guess I'll have to wait and see. It's all in the follow-up, right? Its been 2 weeks, so how was the followup? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Seriously! Are you holding out on us with lots of juicy details?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 Hmm, nothing really juicy to tell. There was no specific follow-up to the dinner, not as in him saying anything about it. We usually work from home, and he did make a point of telling me he was planning to be in the office a certain day last week in case I wanted to join him. Which I did. We spent a lot of time together that day, and went out for drinks and food after. All of that was good, but again, he didn't say anything or do anything that could be construed as romantic vs. friendly, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 So things are still progressing at a snail's pace. More drinks, more dinners, and today a summertime art fair. Still no move from him into romance territory, but we've definitely moved beyond a professional/friendly to a friend/friendly place. Conversation ranges far and wide, is fun and engaging, and is...easy. Everything is easy. He's come inside my place a few times to pick me up, so he's got a sense for my private life. And he stopped by one day when I was not expecting him, and found me without any make-up, wearing ancient Lake Tahoe t-shirt and yoga pants, and crazy wavy hair that I hadn't even combed through yet because it was still drying after a shower. I wouldn't have thought I'd need to worry that a guy who lives almost an hour away would stop by unexpectedly. It's maddening because the more we get to know each other, the more compatible it appears we are. Yet the goodbye's are still just hugs and a kiss on the cheek. So, still not sure if this is going anywhere, although still enjoying him very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Ahhhhhhh.... NJ has a BF.. and by the sounds of it she is smitten... Yay............ Time to make it so he knows it's okay to move that kiss from the cheek to the lips.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 Yes, smitten is totally the right word! I am smitten! And for the life of me, I have no freaking clue how to get to that first kiss from here! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Yes, smitten is totally the right word! I am smitten! And for the life of me, I have no freaking clue how to get to that first kiss from here! Are you into making the first move.. kiss him when he kisses you on the cheek.. or move so your lips are where your cheek used to be Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 Are you into making the first move.. kiss him when he kisses you on the cheek.. or move so your lips are where your cheek used to be I'm not beyond making the first move, but I don't think I want to or should with him. And I don't want that first kiss to happen like that. I need a deliberate, intentional kiss from him. You know? I am, by nature, affectionate, and I touch him often and smile into his eyes, and am very open with him. So I don't believe he'd hesitate thinking I wouldn't want him to kiss me. I just need him to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 THIS has all the makings of a beautiful relationship! Love it! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Make your presence even closer physically.. If you hug him... hug him tighter/longer... If you go for a walk and hold hands then grab his arm and intertwine yours with his.. or you could just say "kiss me damnit".. I had a girl say that to me once..I was glad she did.. or just let time do it for you.. he sounds like he will make a move shortly anyhow Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 or you could just say "kiss me damit".. I had a girl say that to me once..I was glad she did.. I've done that a couple times before...works very well... Link to post Share on other sites
Author norajane Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 THIS has all the makings of a beautiful relationship! Love it! From your keyboard to his ears...friends, we're just friends so far... Make your presence even closer physically.. If you hug him... hug him tighter/longer... If you go for a walk and hold hands then grab his arm and intertwine yours with his.. or you could just say "kiss me damnit".. I had a girl say that to me once..I was glad she did.. or just let time do it for you.. he sounds like he will make a move shortly anyhow I tried getting all up in his personal space today, which was easy to do since we were at the street fair. He could have kissed me a few times...but didn't. We don't hold hands - if that were happening, then I wouldn't be confused on what was going on here. I've done that a couple times before...works very well... I'm getting close to this point, dammit! Link to post Share on other sites
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