hats Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I always thought it must be pretty easy to be the woman in a relationship. Guys don't really ask for much. For the most part guys just want to get laid and not get nagged. On the other hand most women want guys to initiate basically every step of the dating process, take them on dates, buy them gifts, listen to their problems, look good for their friends and family, and on top of that pressure men for more commitment, etc, etc... And then I'll hear women say that their men don't appreciate all the effort they put in for them. But what exactly are they doing that takes so much effort? I don't mean to be offensive, I'm genuinely confused. I think sometimes women want so much from men, when men aren't asking for very much for themselves, that at some point the guy figures it's just not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I treat all my boyfriends like kings (I'm talking sex at least 5 times a week, home cooked meals, back massages, listening to them bitch about work, basically almost anything to make them happy) and all I ask is to get treated as a princess in return. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hats Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 I also think a lot of girls think they're being used when the guy stops showering them with attention after having sex for the first time, but in reality getting to the point of meeting all of a girl's expectations was setting a standard that was never really sustainable in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Suggest fun things we can do together, be up for spontaneous fun, hot sex pretty much whenever and however he wants it, dress up for him, wear sexy outfits he may enjoy, give him space to do his own thing and go out with friends, attend family events with him if he wants me to, go out with him and his friends and give him space to do guy things, cook for and with him, give him massages, listen to his venting about work and life, give him solid advice when he asks, remind him what's great about him, help him pick out clothes if he asks, bake him birthday cakes from scratch, scratch his back for 10 minutes if he wants it, think of new and novel things to do often to keep the relationship spicy. But honestly, I am finding that there is some truth to all that rules stuff, which I used to turn my nose up at. It seems the less attention you give a man, the more he wants you. And as soon as you give him what he wants and become "his", he starts taking you for granted. The depressing truth, now that I sit here and think about it, is that this has been the case in all my relationships. And with the last guy, to whom I would not "surrender", the man seemed positively obsessed with locking me down. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Men are so easy to keep happy and if you don't nag them most are more than willing to do their part for a woman as well. The fact that so many women struggle with this concept says something about them. Link to post Share on other sites
EnglishMuffin Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 In terms of what I "do", I make my boyfriend laugh, give him support for his career, make sure he eats on time, help him when he needs another hand, take him out on dates once or twice a month (all on me), satisfy him in bed, and communicate upfront regarding what I need, what bothers me, what is going on with me (no need to play a mind reader). In short, I do what I consider as necessities for maintaining a healthy relationship. And I expect him to do the same for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hats Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 Men are so easy to keep happy and if you don't nag them most are more than willing to do their part for a woman as well. I feel this way too, and I think a lot of guys feel this way. Maybe some women are doing too much. Actually RS response was surprisingly good, and AG too. I think it's different for guys though because although those things are nice, I don't consider them essential. I think for women, if you never go on a date, or fail to do any of things I listed, then that's a serious problem and grounds to end the relationship. But I could be dating a girl and never get a backrub, or never get cooked a meal, and I wouldn't be upset, I probably wouldn't even think about it. (The exception being any effort you put in for hot sex ) I think a lot of the essential stuff for men is stuff that you don't do. Like nagging, or making a big deal out of nothing, or hurting his ego. I dunno hard it is for women not to those things, but I think most men feel like it should be pretty easy. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I feel this way too, and I think a lot of guys feel this way. Maybe some women are doing too much. Actually RS response was surprisingly good, and AG too. I think it's different for guys though because although those things are nice, I don't consider them essential. I think for women, if you never go on a date, or fail to do any of things I listed, then that's a serious problem and grounds to end the relationship. But I could be dating a girl and never get a backrub, or never get cooked a meal, and I wouldn't be upset, I probably wouldn't even think about it. (The exception being any effort you put in for hot sex ) I think a lot of the essential stuff for men is stuff that you don't do. Like nagging, or making a big deal out of nothing, or hurting his ego. I dunno hard it is for women not to those things, but I think most men feel like it should be pretty easy. I'd have to agree. Men are very, very, simple (not stupid, as popular as that may seem) creatures. I know for me it does not take much to make me happy. I just don't think about a thousand things like a woman does. My mind operates on the surface. As long as I'm not showered with constant attention,fed steak and eggs, and get my alone time, I'll purr like a kitten and you won't hear a word from me. So here are the big four for us guys: 1. Food 2. Sex 3. Loyalty 4. Profit Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tnerforireyeh Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 At first I thought this was yet another troll thread but then I thought about it and the op is kinda right. Another poster once said, and I agree, that all a woman has to do is: 1 look good 2 put out 3 don't be a b!tch And so few are actually capable of doing all three. Remember the old saying: "A woman wants one man to fulfill her every desire. A man wants every woman to fulfill his one desire." This explains the situation somewhat. Link to post Share on other sites
Satisfaction Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 You shouldn't need to do anything to keep a guy. The most you can do is make an effort to make him happy which presumably people do all the time for the people in their lives. If you make the effort to make him happy and he does nothing eg forget birthdays , doesn't talk about your feelings with you then that is cause for getting upset. Link to post Share on other sites
deux ex machina Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Women: What do you do to keep your men? Duct tape. Handcuffs. I think he'll be sticking around a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 (edited) Things I do for my guy which I believe very few men would do for their partners: 1. I try my darndest to understand my guy. I try to give him what he needs, not what I think he needs. If he's in a bad place and wants some alone time, I give it to him even though it's going against my nature (I believe that problems should be talked over). I don't go all 'Well I'm a guy, it's natural for me to want to fix things when you tell me about them! What do you mean all I have to do is listen?! How can you expect me to do that???' 2. I can put my ego aside in situations where even though I'm convinced that I'm right, it really isn't worth it to push the point through, because it's a silly thing, maybe, or because he's had a tough time recently and I just want him to feel better. His feelings are more important than my ego. And yes, the sex, massages, etc. Although I guess many guys do those as well, so that's all the same. Edited March 5, 2010 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
calizaggy Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 This thread illustrates how double standards still exist.. Every woman answered "have sex".. Is having sex a huge chore for women these days? Could you imagine this question being asked of men and they all simply say "I have sex with her".. I think a good answer would be love him, help him attain his goals and dreams, cook for him, create a great envrinment for him to come home to, etc.. That would be how to KEEP a man.. Every woman on Earth can have sex.. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 If you actually read, the post above yours did not list 'have sex', calizaggy Well, the thing is that men are generally more interested in sex than women are. Some 'alpha males' even use that as an excuse for anything: 'I'm not getting sex from her, obviously I have every right to look elsewhere. I'm a dude, I need sex!' or 'If I'm not getting it from her by the third date, I'm gone! A man has needs!' ad nauseum. It would be like a man saying, 'I hold her in my arms each night after sex, and I'm always there for her to talk to', opposed to a woman saying the same thing. Evidently more men would list that, as women want to cuddle and talk more anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
calizaggy Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 But sex is a mutual activity that women enjoy as well. It is also pretty easy to get these days, from a variety of women.. If sex is the main thing a woman is giving it cannot compete with the variety of sex a man can have with a variety of women. What separates you from other women, so that he wants to keep you? Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I always thought it must be pretty easy to be the woman in a relationship. Guys don't really ask for much. For the most part guys just want to get laid and not get nagged. The problems tend to spark up when the guy wants to get laid by other women, and not get nagged about it by his wife/girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 The problems tend to spark up when the guy wants to get laid by other women, and not get nagged about it by his wife/girlfriend. Women cheat just as much as men do. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 How to keep a man happy? simple... give him all the sex he wants... don't be oppressive (possessive)... I would have to agree that it's much easier to keep a man happy.. in general a man will get 'comfy' at home with his W and kids.. if he has ample sex... (only in rare cases does a man cheats when he can have all the sex he wants at home... those are rare specimens.. IMO). but, the truth is... it doesn't work that way.. most women, after they have kids, or been with the same man for a long time.. get tired of sex... have other priorities.. they get 'comfy' at home with her H, her kids, if there is no pressure for sex... Sex remain a priority for men NOT for women... I should also add... that, in general, women have more 'responsibilities' (family, kids, school, home, bills, etc.) that drain them physically, therefore.. sex becomes an additional chore.. Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 actually works well long term - I call the "first first" approach. You put them first and they put you first. We have done this at home for a long long time now. I treat all my boyfriends like kings (I'm talking sex at least 5 times a week, home cooked meals, back massages, listening to them bitch about work, basically almost anything to make them happy) and all I ask is to get treated as a princess in return. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 i like how one poster put it: its what you dont do that keeps him - smothering him with too much attention, bruising his ego, being a nag. sometimes not doing these things is a lot harder than cooking for someone or scratching their back! Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Oh yes, all men are super easy to please. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t223133/ or http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t217123/ I am a great retainer. I expect the same. For reference, read Hagakure. If I am out doing something, and I see a way or opportunity to make benefit to his life or goals, I act on it as though the goal is mine because it is. If someone is causing him a problem, they are causing me a problem and I seek to resolve or eliminate it. This is above and beyond all the mundane everyday life stuff like getting the foods he likes at the grocery or house tidying. Sex is not just for him, if it were, it would be a simple 5 minutes out of my day. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 But sex is a mutual activity that women enjoy as well. It is also pretty easy to get these days, from a variety of women.. If sex is the main thing a woman is giving it cannot compete with the variety of sex a man can have with a variety of women. What separates you from other women, so that he wants to keep you? Cuddling and talking are also mutual activities that men enjoy as well on occasion, and which are pretty easy to get these days... So it's a double standard for a man to say that he does it? And again, if your post was directed at me, you really didn't read the post above yours. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 We enjoy each other's sick sense of humor, for one. I give him massages and do his feet with nice scrubby stuff and foot soak and lotion because he's on them a lot for work. I tell him often about what a good man he is. I cook him good food, give him great BJ's, and just generally treat him well. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 But sex is a mutual activity that women enjoy as well. It is also pretty easy to get these days, from a variety of women.. Maybe for SOME men... Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 road head. Link to post Share on other sites
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