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How do i let this girl down easy???


alphamale

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So i've been dating this Dawn girl for the past month. She is the "No kissy kissy on first date" girl. We've gone out maybe 6 times. No sex yet.

 

She's got a 14 year old son which makes it hard to get together with her custody schedule. She also lives about 40 minutes away from me.

 

Anyways I know she likes me but i'm just not feeling the love. I'm just not that physicially attracted to her. She is very nice in every other way.

 

So how do i let her down easy? Should i just tell her straight up that i'm not physically attracted or should i make up something else (like i'm dating someone else).

 

Normally i wouldn't care but she is just so damn nice that i can't be mean to her. I think i'm going soft in me old age...

 

Alpha

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try the honest mature approach and say that you aren't feeling the chemistry between the two of you.

yea yea, that sounds good

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yea yea, that sounds good

 

If she can't take that then did you really want to be involved with someone who can't handle the truth?

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Just tell her the truth. Sorry, there's no match here.

 

I thought Dawn was months ago. Isn't she the one with the ugly shoes?

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I dunno, when someone is really into you I don't know that there is a way to let them off easy.

 

I don't think you need to give reasons - just say it ain't working.

 

If you give reasons, some women will use that as an "in" to try to argue you into staying in the relationship.

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txsilkysmoothe

Don't tell her you're not "physically attracted" to her or that there is "someone else." Both of these will hurt more than the truth.

 

How about:

"After dating for a month, I realize my interest in you is more platonic than romantic. I don't believe that is going to change."

 

"I've enjoyed spending time with you but I'm not feeling a romantic connection with you."

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My vote is for the truth. Brutal or not, it's the truth and leaves her with no hope. Which is the best thing. That way you've closed the door. If you leave it cracked, she may chase and prevent things from moving on as they should. Then you've got yourself into a pretty pickle.

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I vote the brutal truth too. You try to cookie coat it and it will end up worse.

 

Another note, sometimes when a guy waits for sex too long he loses his physical attraction to a woman. Women like to make a guy wait, but waiting too long can make a guy lose interest. You probably would still like her if you'd have had sex after the 2nd or 3rd date.

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Yeah, please don't let her down "easy" with some BS or side-stepping. Guys need to understand that this prolongs a girl's torture and is one of the worst things you can do.

 

"I'm sorry, this isn't working for me, I'm not feeling it" should really suffice. It is certainly what I would prefer.

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So i've been dating this Dawn girl for the past month. ... So how do i let her down easy?

You could tell it to her in question form, "Do you have the same feeling as me, that we'd be much better off as just really good friends?"

 

Or. Slow down how often you contact her and gradually increase time between answering her calls/texts/emails. Casually mention that you've got plans to <do whatever that clearly does not include her> this weekend.

 

In any case, it's only been a month. How much of a deal is it to just say, "It's not working for me. Lucky we found it out before we got all emotionally entangled and hot 'n heavy, huh?"

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I think you can be honest, without being brutally honest.

Don't come out and tell her you don't find her physically attractive and happen to be a bit turned off that she has a kid... Tell her "I think you are a great person, but we don't have chemistry" and leave it at that.

 

I just had to let someone down easy, but there was no way I was going to list what I deemed to be his flaws for the sake of honesty. I always stick to the "we just don't have chemistry"... How can anyone argue with that?

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Defintely be honest, just say you think she's cool but you just don't see it going anywhere.

 

You might end up with a cool chick for a friend.

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try the honest mature approach and say that you aren't feeling the chemistry between the two of you.

 

 

still think this is by far the best. Its short and its exactly to the point. telling her you are not attracted to her is only going to shatter her self esteem.

 

good luck!!;)

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what about the old i just wanna be friends line? i mean that's truthful right? either that or my vote would be with what D-Lish had to say. you cant argue with the no chemistry thing.

 

 

either way you are not crushing the girl.

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So i've been dating this Dawn girl for the past month. She is the "No kissy kissy on first date" girl. We've gone out maybe 6 times. No sex yet.

 

She's got a 14 year old son which makes it hard to get together with her custody schedule. She also lives about 40 minutes away from me.

 

Anyways I know she likes me but i'm just not feeling the love. I'm just not that physicially attracted to her. She is very nice in every other way.

 

So how do i let her down easy? Should i just tell her straight up that i'm not physically attracted or should i make up something else (like i'm dating someone else).

 

Normally i wouldn't care but she is just so damn nice that i can't be mean to her. I think i'm going soft in me old age...

 

Alpha

 

Send her a nice tube of lipstick. Something pretty and fancy. Attatch a little note that says "Dawn, I don't know how to say this but..unlike this tube of lipstick I just can't last you forever."

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So nice girls finish last as well??

I think it depends on how hot you are and whether or not you already have a kid.

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I would tell her you like her but as a friend. Let her know you appreciate her but you just don't feel that romantic connection.

 

Whatever you do don't tell her your not attracted to her.

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I think you can be honest, without being brutally honest.

Don't come out and tell her you don't find her physically attractive and happen to be a bit turned off that she has a kid... Tell her "I think you are a great person, but we don't have chemistry" and leave it at that.

 

we dont have chemistry, thats a lie, because obviously there was chemistry there.

 

You can tell her you werent really attracted to her but you liked her personality, so you breaking it off with her isnt her fault, or something she did. That way she wont have to blame herself or feel self concious.

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we dont have chemistry, thats a lie, because obviously there was chemistry there.

 

You can tell her you werent really attracted to her but you liked her personality, so you breaking it off with her isnt her fault, or something she did. That way she wont have to blame herself or feel self concious.

 

What example can you give to the "obvious" chemistry?

 

Honestly, do you think it's not going to affect someone telling them they are "nice" but just not physically attractive?

 

You think that's a good thing to bring up when breaking up with someone?

Telling them they are ugly works for you?

 

Jaysus, dont date- you're not nice.

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What example can you give to the "obvious" chemistry?

 

Honestly, do you think it's not going to affect someone telling them they are "nice" but just not physically attractive?

 

You think that's a good thing to bring up when breaking up with someone?

Telling them they are ugly works for you?

 

Jaysus, dont date- you're not nice.

 

The obvious chemistry is everything else except the physical attraction from what Alpha describes.

 

Shes a grown woman, she can handle it. He tells her he's not attracted to her, doesnt mean shes not attractive. If her self esteem gets shattered by Alpha, then she has bigger problems to overcome. Besides its only been a month, she'll be fine. She will see right through that bullshyt lines of

"im not feelin the chemistry"

"we can just be friends"

because im sure she's used them.

 

Were all adults here people! we can handle the truth. Not all of you can handle your guilt, but Alpha, I know you wont feel guilty about this. She'll thank you for being honest.

Edited by boogieboy
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