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Are snotty women the reason "bars a bad places to meet women?"


Don'tWannabeAWannabe

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe

I've heard a lot of opposition to meeting girls and women in club. A lot of people complain about bars apparently being "bad places to meet women."

 

However, is it the bar they're opposed to? Or the fact that a lot of girls who go there are just cold, stuck up, dismissive and rude?

 

If these girls were friendlier and more open to meeting new people, would bars still be "bad places to meet people?"

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Some women might appear stuck up at bars because they are trying to protect themselves from aggressive drunk guys...

 

And THAT is why I don't go to bars or clubs. Well, that and the fact I don't drink alcoholic beverages, which seems to dodge the whole point of the venue.

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It's a double edged sword, neither sex truly deem it as a place to meet suitable long-term mates. So it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I'm sure there are exceptions.

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its ironic that the best looking chicks hang out in bars but that is the worst place to meet them

 

it sort of sums up the human condition

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its ironic that the best looking chicks hang out in bars but that is the worst place to meet them. it sort of sums up the human condition

 

Attractive, healthy, disciplined women run 5K or 10K races on Saturday mornings.

 

Coolest women practice martial arts on a regular basis.

 

Best looking women are on the beach during the spring and summer and sometimes walking their dogs in the dog park in the afternoons.

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As a normal working guy with ambition and plans for the future, the deck is stacked against you in bars. First, half of the people there are either drug or alcohol addicts or at the very least abusers. They seek each other out. Many of the men and women who hook up in bars do so on a co-enabling level. They aren't interested at all in someone like you, merely in continuing their buzz or party. The men these want are able to hang out with them until 4PM the next afternoon, they are all working very low level jobs, some are trust fund hippies. So, there's 50% of all those hot women taken right off the table unless you decide to slip into that party lifestyle that so many in the U.S. give their 20s over to.

 

Of the remainder, half are in a relationship, not just lying about having a BF, but really truly in a relationship. They are on girls' night or waiting to meet their BF, or whatever. So you are down to 1:4. You started out with a likely 3:1 ratio of men/women, where does that leave us? 12:1? You are competing with 12 other guys for that single quality woman, and unlike other places to meet, all 12 of those guys is out to meet right then and there. Several of those do nothing but hit on women constantly. That is their primary occupation. The pay is lousy, but it's their choice and they have an edge over you. Terrible odds even though there is lots of scenery. The scenery is an illusion.

 

Winnowing out 50% more who aren't interested in meeting you, and are more interested in shooting you down for laughs due to the outlaw biker breaking her heart (and headboard) last week, brings us to 24:1 real odds. I won't ever bet those odds, you shouldn't either.

 

In another thread, I told you how to shave these odds back in your favor some, but you don't seem interested in doing that. There are people in clubs who can help you, staff, regulars. If you build relationships with them, your odds become almost manageable.

 

You'reasian has the right idea for guys, and I also recommended that to you in another thread. Build your approach and meeting skills towards early morning activities to meet the women who are interested in what you are selling.

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe
As a normal working guy with ambition and plans for the future, the deck is stacked against you in bars. First, half of the people there are either drug or alcohol addicts or at the very least abusers. They seek each other out. Many of the men and women who hook up in bars do so on a co-enabling level. They aren't interested at all in someone like you, merely in continuing their buzz or party. The men these want are able to hang out with them until 4PM the next afternoon, they are all working very low level jobs, some are trust fund hippies. So, there's 50% of all those hot women taken right off the table unless you decide to slip into that party lifestyle that so many in the U.S. give their 20s over to.

 

Of the remainder, half are in a relationship, not just lying about having a BF, but really truly in a relationship. They are on girls' night or waiting to meet their BF, or whatever. So you are down to 1:4. You started out with a likely 3:1 ratio of men/women, where does that leave us? 12:1? You are competing with 12 other guys for that single quality woman, and unlike other places to meet, all 12 of those guys is out to meet right then and there. Several of those do nothing but hit on women constantly. That is their primary occupation. The pay is lousy, but it's their choice and they have an edge over you. Terrible odds even though there is lots of scenery. The scenery is an illusion.

 

Winnowing out 50% more who aren't interested in meeting you, and are more interested in shooting you down for laughs due to the outlaw biker breaking her heart (and headboard) last week, brings us to 24:1 real odds. I won't ever bet those odds, you shouldn't either.

 

In another thread, I told you how to shave these odds back in your favor some, but you don't seem interested in doing that. There are people in clubs who can help you, staff, regulars. If you build relationships with them, your odds become almost manageable.

 

You'reasian has the right idea for guys, and I also recommended that to you in another thread. Build your approach and meeting skills towards early morning activities to meet the women who are interested in what you are selling.

 

Well I asked, how can I get familiar with the regulars when there's hundreds of people in and out of these places every night?

 

I've been going to the same places, but the same bouncers are still checking my ID.

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As a normal working guy with ambition and plans for the future, the deck is stacked against you in bars. First, half of the people there are either drug or alcohol addicts or at the very least abusers. They seek each other out. Many of the men and women who hook up in bars do so on a co-enabling level. They aren't interested at all in someone like you, merely in continuing their buzz or party. The men these want are able to hang out with them until 4PM the next afternoon, they are all working very low level jobs, some are trust fund hippies. So, there's 50% of all those hot women taken right off the table unless you decide to slip into that party lifestyle that so many in the U.S. give their 20s over to.

 

Of the remainder, half are in a relationship, not just lying about having a BF, but really truly in a relationship. They are on girls' night or waiting to meet their BF, or whatever. So you are down to 1:4. You started out with a likely 3:1 ratio of men/women, where does that leave us? 12:1? You are competing with 12 other guys for that single quality woman, and unlike other places to meet, all 12 of those guys is out to meet right then and there. Several of those do nothing but hit on women constantly. That is their primary occupation. The pay is lousy, but it's their choice and they have an edge over you. Terrible odds even though there is lots of scenery. The scenery is an illusion.

 

Winnowing out 50% more who aren't interested in meeting you, and are more interested in shooting you down for laughs due to the outlaw biker breaking her heart (and headboard) last week, brings us to 24:1 real odds. I won't ever bet those odds, you shouldn't either.

 

meerkat stew, you wrote one of the best and most insightful posts I have ever read on this forum. I agree completely!

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe
As a normal working guy with ambition and plans for the future, the deck is stacked against you in bars. First, half of the people there are either drug or alcohol addicts or at the very least abusers. They seek each other out. Many of the men and women who hook up in bars do so on a co-enabling level. They aren't interested at all in someone like you, merely in continuing their buzz or party. The men these want are able to hang out with them until 4PM the next afternoon, they are all working very low level jobs, some are trust fund hippies. So, there's 50% of all those hot women taken right off the table unless you decide to slip into that party lifestyle that so many in the U.S. give their 20s over to.

 

 

This really doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, I'm not wildly successful, but I am financially stable (no credit card debt or car payments, though I will eventually have to take on a mountain of student debt when I go to grad school in 2 years) and I have an actual career (lab tech at a pharmaceutical firm) while it seems like most guys my age are either working part time or looking for work.

 

Granted, I'm not making anywhere near enough to be buying a Ferrari or an LA condo anytime soon, but I can afford to eat out and drive to the city once or twice a week. When I was in school, the one thing keeping most guys in on weekends and out of the clubs and bars was lack of money (for entry fees and drinks). I don't have that problem.

 

So shouldn't that make me a catch to these party girls?

Edited by Don'tWannabeAWannabe
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So shouldn't that make me a catch to these party girls?

not necessarily

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littlewhiterose

So shouldn't that make me a catch to these party girls?

 

 

Umm, no. Not necessarily.

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littlewhiterose
Well I asked, how can I get familiar with the regulars when there's hundreds of people in and out of these places every night?

 

I've been going to the same places, but the same bouncers are still checking my ID.

 

Work a different angle. Maybe try to get in good with a bartender. Bartenders know regulars. If a regular sees that you also know the staff they'll feel more comfortable initiating or continuing a convo with you. Bouncers sometimes don't necessarily have the opportunity due to ID checking & looking 7ft tall and 300 lbs, and what not.

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Don'tWannabeAWannabe
Umm, no. Not necessarily.

 

I'm saying, if these young women want guys who can take them out on weekends to dance and drink and party, I can provide for that (while a lot of guys my age can't).

 

So what do I have to do to convey that?

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