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Sleeping with a girl... ouch


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My girlfriend and I have been dating over a year. We’ve been living together for quite a while. We have also been sleeping with each other for over a year. I think it’s great to be with her when I fall asleep, and when I wake up.

 

I’m a very tall man. My gf is some what tall too. We sleep in a queen size bed which just doesn’t feel big enough some times. I was feeling sick and my gf had to wake up really early today for a special important day at her work. So, when I woke up in the middle of the night I decided to just go sleep in the guest room.

 

When she woke up and I wasn’t there, she got furious. So she came in the guest room and I woke up to her screaming.

 

Lately its just been so annoying sleeping together and I don’t think it’s the end of the world if I went into the guest room in the middle of the night and slept there.

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No, it's not the end of the world. She probably freaked out because she doesn't know why you would do that. Just explain it to her.

 

Maybe think about investing in a bigger bed for the both of you.

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No, it's not the end of the world. She probably freaked out because she doesn't know why you would do that. Just explain it to her.

 

Maybe think about investing in a bigger bed for the both of you.

 

She really didn't seem to calm down when I explained it to her. I think the bigger bed thing is a great idea, but that is alot of damn money, but may in the end be the best solution. I don't think sleeping in a seperate bed is something I'm going to be able to get away with. But damn I kinda wish she was just cool with me doing it.

 

A good king size bed with a mattress that doesnt let you feel the other person moving will change your life.

 

I've slept in king sized beds with her at hotels and it is a world of difference, in fact I always try to get a king. I just kinda wish she was cool with me sleeping in the guest room, she also makes noises and is anoying. I was really tired and when I woke up I knew she would be getting up in less then 2 hours. I wanted to sleep another 4. If she wakes up the alarm may go off as many as 3 times, she uses her computer, looking for her clothes is real loud and she is in and out of the room a bunch. I didn't get to sleep, really hard to fall asleep after waking up to a huge fight, she really didn't care when I told her I felt sick and just didn't want to be woken up when she got up early.

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My favorite boyfriend to date would go sleep on the couch or in the guest room if he was tossing & turning, or sick & coughing/sneezing/etc. a lot, so that he wouldn't keep waking me up. I'd wake up and he wouldn't be there...and I'd roll over and go back to sleep.

 

And other times he'd be really selfish and wake me up at 3am and we'd have sex or he'd ask for a bj. AHhaha. I miss that guy.

 

Your gf should appreciate that about you.

Edited by OnlyJake
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My favorite boyfriend to date would go sleep on the couch or in the guest room if he was tossing & turning, or sick & coughing/sneezing/etc. a lot, so that he wouldn't keep waking me up. I'd wake up and he wouldn't be there...and I'd roll over and go back to sleep.

 

And other times he'd be really selfish and wake me up at 3am and we'd have sex or he'd ask for a bj. AHhaha. I miss that guy.

 

Your gf should appreciate that about you.

 

I was coughing when we went to bed, and when she woke up and scremed at me I told her one of the reasons I did it was because I knew she had a big day and I didn't want to wake her up. Now I feel worse then ever, barely got any sleep and my congestion feels like its in my chest.

 

I would have loved to wake her up at 3am for a bj, but I seriously have a better chance of winning the lotto... twice in a row.

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She needs to take a chill pill she sounds very insecure. You are sick big. I tend to get bad sleep when my guy sleeps over because he hogs the bed, as most men in my life have done. I like cuddling for the first half hour when you go to bed or after we get it on but then I want my space and that's that. Separate beds is not a bad idea at all.

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OK, the king sized bed and those foamy ear plugs.

 

And she is going to have to stop hitting the snooze on the alarm. Thats something you can do when you sleep alone, not with someone else.

 

Nothing at all wrong with bringing up that when you are not feeling well, you prefer to sleep alone. I mean, unless you are chronically ill - it wont be that often.

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I'm in a 6-year relationship with my partner, and we actually make a point of sleeping in separate rooms, as a matter of course.

I have my room, he has his.

He snores really loudly.

I'm a light sleeper.

He moves around like a hippo in a mud pool.

I end up getting less than a foot's width of bed.

So?

Separate beds!

Sorted!!

 

There really is no big deal about this.

 

Is she worried about how it might affect your sex life...?

 

A sex life is only affected if you let it affect your sex life.

There are hundreds of threads here about problematic sex, between people who share a room, so it's a fallacy to think separate rooms would affect your sex life adversely.

If it does - there's already something wrong with your sex life....

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You were being considerate, nothing wrong in that. I would have appreciated it if my boyfriend did the same.

 

She's being a baby. What's with the screaming?!

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Yeah what did she say she was so upset for?

Why is she so upset with you not being in the bed when she woke up?

What reason did she have for completely ignoring your sickness?

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She needs to take a chill pill she sounds very insecure. You are sick big. I tend to get bad sleep when my guy sleeps over because he hogs the bed, as most men in my life have done. I like cuddling for the first half hour when you go to bed or after we get it on but then I want my space and that's that. Separate beds is not a bad idea at all.

 

She does complain of me hogging the bed, but in my opinion she is a bed hog and a cover hog. Seriously when I woke up at 3am she was moving and kicking around in her sleep and it was really damn anoying.

 

OK, the king sized bed and those foamy ear plugs.

 

And she is going to have to stop hitting the snooze on the alarm. Thats something you can do when you sleep alone, not with someone else.

 

Nothing at all wrong with bringing up that when you are not feeling well, you prefer to sleep alone. I mean, unless you are chronically ill - it wont be that often.

 

I've had the snooze conversation with her, she just doesn't seem to care. She makes me feel guilty that I groan and yell at her when she constantly wakes me up.

 

Truth is I think I might prefer to sleep alone even if I was feeling well but especialy if I was sick and I knew she was waking up very early for a special day at her work.

 

I don't think I can sleep with earplugs but maybe I needs some loud white noise. Like a loud fan to drown out all her noise.

 

I'm in a 6-year relationship with my partner, and we actually make a point of sleeping in separate rooms, as a matter of course.

I have my room, he has his.

He snores really loudly.

I'm a light sleeper.

He moves around like a hippo in a mud pool.

I end up getting less than a foot's width of bed.

So?

Separate beds!

Sorted!!

 

There really is no big deal about this.

 

Is she worried about how it might affect your sex life...?

 

A sex life is only affected if you let it affect your sex life.

There are hundreds of threads here about problematic sex, between people who share a room, so it's a fallacy to think separate rooms would affect your sex life adversely.

If it does - there's already something wrong with your sex life....

 

She thinks I abandoned her. I'm starting to think seperate beds would be great. I think part of the problem is its been cool lately, and when its warm I don't really need the covers so I can use them as a barrier. Now the covers are being pulled around and I wake up for who knows why. She talks and laughs and breathes weird in her sleep. I'm going to talk to her about this stuff tonight. seriously the other bed is way less comfy but I enjoyed sleeping alone in it so much, even if it just was 2 hours.

 

You were being considerate, nothing wrong in that. I would have appreciated it if my boyfriend did the same.

 

She's being a baby. What's with the screaming?!

 

I told her what did you want me to do wake you up in the middle of the night and tell you I was going to the other room. Seriously it was almost the worst way to wake up.

 

Yeah what did she say she was so upset for?

Why is she so upset with you not being in the bed when she woke up?

What reason did she have for completely ignoring your sickness?

 

she gave me dumb reasons, like she pointed to times where we were in a fight and I asked her to come back to bed and she did. Really she had no good reasons, it wasn't like a conversation, it was like a crying screaming girl yelling at me. I told her I only did it because I didn't want to wake you up, and I knew you were getting up in like 2 hours and I wanted to sleep atleast 4 more. I didn't do it as some way of hurting her. I did think maybe she would be worried and then she would just look in the guest room see me sleeping and think no big deal.

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Let us know how you get on.

She seems insecure, and it might be a good idea to set up a secret camera to film her at night to prove your point, but this may not go down well...

Good luck with the talk, this evening....

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This reminds me of a funny story when my girlfriend was being a bitch, we both went to be mad.

 

I wanted sex, but she wouldn't give it, so I rubbed one off while laying right beside her.

 

Good times.

 

seriously that sounds conterproductive. Although I'm pretty sure she would have been way less pissed off if I had just rubbed one off while laying beside her.

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Let us know how you get on.

She seems insecure, and it might be a good idea to set up a secret camera to film her at night to prove your point, but this may not go down well...

Good luck with the talk, this evening....

 

I've filmed her sleeping, I even called her for not being on her pillow and being all the way down on the bed, she doesn't care. I've never done an entire night, but yes this might actualy be a great idea. My plan is to have another talk with her tonight about all this. I've been complaining about the cover all week because in my opinion the material sux and I want to use a different one but she is not even open to that. Seriously to have such big fights over sill crap like this is ridiculouse. Well I'll post an update tommorow after I talk to her tonight.

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This reminds me of a funny story when my girlfriend was being a bitch, we both went to be mad.

 

I wanted sex, but she wouldn't give it, so I rubbed one off while laying right beside her.

 

Good times.

 

:lmao:

I have tried this but I never seem to be able to finish with her right next to me.

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IBS

 

Independent Blanket System

 

My H invented it. We each have our own sheet and blanket. When the bed is made and the duvet or spread on it, you cant even tell.

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I've filmed her sleeping, I even called her for not being on her pillow and being all the way down on the bed, she doesn't care. I've never done an entire night, but yes this might actualy be a great idea. My plan is to have another talk with her tonight about all this. I've been complaining about the cover all week because in my opinion the material sux and I want to use a different one but she is not even open to that. Seriously to have such big fights over sill crap like this is ridiculouse. Well I'll post an update tommorow after I talk to her tonight.

 

 

Ok...

This is sounding less and less about sleeping arrangements, and more and more like passive-aggressive control exertion.

 

Is she like this in other spheres too?

Is she dominant or insistent about other things to the extent that you're either exasperated or walking on egg-shells...?

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Maybe we should exchange girlfriends, mine has a queen-sized bed (bought it after we started dating even though I suggested she get a king) and whenever I sleep over she doesn't get enough sleep and ends up going to her couch. Never pissed, but I wish she would cuddle more with me.

Whenever we sleep at my place, there's never an issue. I have a king and we have a great amount of room. Also my bed is on the firmer side so we're not constantly fighting gravity like when we're on her bed.

 

The first night I woke and she was not there, I felt really guilty and went over to her in the couch and asked her if I had not let her sleep through the night. She wasn't upset but said that I snore (I didn't know I did) and that she just wanted to sleep.

 

Talk to her calmly about it, make sure you emphasize that it's not a reflection on your feelings for her, but rather a necessity that would allow you to sleep well and enjoy being fresh and rested in the awake time you spend with her.

 

But plan on getting a King bed anyway. There is nothing better.

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make me believe

She came in screaming at you because you switched rooms in the middle of the night? Are you serious??

 

My boyfriend once left my apartment completely & went home in the middle of the night because he was tossing & turning & just couldn't fall asleep. I was worried when I woke up & he was gone, but I certainly didn't feel the need to scream at him & start a fight! I just called him up to find out what happened & asked him to leave me a note or something if it happened again. Your gf needs to get a grip. Does she always over-react and start fights about little things like this??

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The way she sleeps, the noises and such, she can't really control that. But the way she reacted when you moved to the guest room and the way she behaves in the morning is within her control. I used to use a flashlight to get my clothes out of the bedroom in the morning if my bf was still asleep. I wanted to make sure he could sleep. Your gf sounds a little oblivious to what you need.

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Straight up Green, What the Hell is Wrong With this Girl?

 

There's no excuse for her self-indulgent overly-emotional behaviour. If she was concerned, she should have talked to you after the two of you got home later tonight.

 

Do have a talk with her but put your foot down on this type of out-of-control childish behaviour.

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IBS

 

Independent Blanket System

 

My H invented it. We each have our own sheet and blanket. When the bed is made and the duvet or spread on it, you cant even tell.

 

I've thought about that. So what sized covers do you use? twin?

 

Ok...

This is sounding less and less about sleeping arrangements, and more and more like passive-aggressive control exertion.

 

Is she like this in other spheres too?

Is she dominant or insistent about other things to the extent that you're either exasperated or walking on egg-shells...?

 

We do have other problems. Some of them are her fault, some of them are me. But the fight this morning was about the bed and I have been getting bad sleep all week. In my opinion she has just been kicking around in bed alot more lately. Shes been going to work alot lately which includes waking up 2 hours earlier then normal, its ruining my sleep plus I was feeling really sick.

 

 

Maybe we should exchange girlfriends, mine has a queen-sized bed (bought it after we started dating even though I suggested she get a king) and whenever I sleep over she doesn't get enough sleep and ends up going to her couch. Never pissed, but I wish she would cuddle more with me.

Whenever we sleep at my place, there's never an issue. I have a king and we have a great amount of room. Also my bed is on the firmer side so we're not constantly fighting gravity like when we're on her bed.

 

The first night I woke and she was not there, I felt really guilty and went over to her in the couch and asked her if I had not let her sleep through the night. She wasn't upset but said that I snore (I didn't know I did) and that she just wanted to sleep.

 

Talk to her calmly about it, make sure you emphasize that it's not a reflection on your feelings for her, but rather a necessity that would allow you to sleep well and enjoy being fresh and rested in the awake time you spend with her.

 

But plan on getting a King bed anyway. There is nothing better.

 

I was mad this morning. She was yelling at me and I was yelling at her. Her bed is a really soft bed too and I like firmer beds... not that the guest room bed isn't also soft. I've always had plans to own a king bed, just never got around to spending the money on one.

 

She came in screaming at you because you switched rooms in the middle of the night? Are you serious??

 

My boyfriend once left my apartment completely & went home in the middle of the night because he was tossing & turning & just couldn't fall asleep. I was worried when I woke up & he was gone, but I certainly didn't feel the need to scream at him & start a fight! I just called him up to find out what happened & asked him to leave me a note or something if it happened again. Your gf needs to get a grip. Does she always over-react and start fights about little things like this??

 

Yes she was screaming and crying and turning it into a big thing saying how this is the worst thing that ever happened. She is under alot of stress at work so I'm sure that has something to do with it. But it is exactly that stress that made me not want to wake her up so she could just rest for her big early day.

I think your bf should have left a note on your door when he just left. The reason I didn't leave a note was because I knew she would just look in the guest room and I thought she would be fine with finding me in there asleep. I mean I've woken up before her and been in the living room before with out leaving a note and I had been talking about having trouble sleeping with her.

We havn't really had any chance to talk since the fight. We did for a moment here or there but only quickly and the fight is over but I plan on having a less emotional conversation about all this.

 

The way she sleeps, the noises and such, she can't really control that. But the way she reacted when you moved to the guest room and the way she behaves in the morning is within her control. I used to use a flashlight to get my clothes out of the bedroom in the morning if my bf was still asleep. I wanted to make sure he could sleep. Your gf sounds a little oblivious to what you need.

 

Maybe we are both obliviouse, I mean I've done some slefish things in the past and lost my temper. I'm just going to talk to her tonight, in the small amounts I've talked to her today she seems over it. I really didn't want to bring it up yet because we only had short ammounts of time to talk and she is working on some important stuff for her job so I didn't want to upset her again.

So really the more I think about it she probably is just really stressed about work. Its not an excuse but its a reason. But the problem still remains to be figured out. Can I sleep with a woman. I mean I have been for quite a while now but with these differing schedules and what seems to me increased movement I'm not sure. I don't ever used to remember getting kicked by her, now I sleep in fear of getting kicked. I build cover barriers to protect myself and never sleep with my face toward her unless I have my hand blocking.

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For the IBS:

 

Its a King Bed, so we each use a full sized sheet and a full sized blanket or comforter. When made, it is all covered with a King Sized spread or duvet that reaches the floor so it looks neat.

 

I cannot stand someone so much as tugging on my blanket, or worse - tossing off covers because they are warm.

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Straight up Green, What the Hell is Wrong With this Girl?

 

There's no excuse for her self-indulgent overly-emotional behaviour. If she was concerned, she should have talked to you after the two of you got home later tonight.

 

Do have a talk with her but put your foot down on this type of out-of-control childish behaviour.

 

its just stupid. If I point something bad she did she points out something I did. She called me a p u ssy the other day, I forget why and then when I'm like wth she pointed out how I've called her a bch b4. So then I'm like well u just clled me a pssy right now.

And seriously we did have a nice night. laughed and talked in bed about an hour in the dark before falling asleep. And then I woke up in the middle of the night, felt sick and well here I am posting about the morning fight.

We kind of already made up, but I still haven't said whats the deal with this morning.

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