Porn Qoute From Another Thread

[Jersey Shortie]

In another thread the poster Chat Room Hero made this comment:

 

Have you ever met a man? Getting sex usually makes us want it more, it doesn't satisfy our quota or fill. ....... Men masturbate and watch porn all the time. That's all there is to it. Getting regular sex does not change that, it may lessen the free time to do so when your SO is around, but believe me guys watch porn no matter how much they are getting.

 

So here is my question. What is the point in trying to please a partner that can never be pleased, satisfied or appreciative of what you offer him? Alot of men request that their partners be more adventurous, dress up cutely, try new things. Even if we do these things, it would seem that that still would not be enough. It makes men seem like a bottomless vacuum there to suck any available titilation and unable to use any form of self control. I guess I don't understand what's the point in a woman even bothering to try, if the end result is the same if she does or doesn't. So many me ncomplain about their woman not giving enough sex. But even if she does, it doesn't seem like it would change the fact that no matter what you do, he is still going to want to watch, enjoy and think about other women. Why should a woman exert her energy into a man if this is the case?

 

I'd love to see what you guys think. Sincere repsonse. Because I don't really see what the pay off is if your a woman who doesn't try or does, and either way yields the same results. Not more loyatly or satisfaction with your partner but a bottomless indulgence in porn. How many guys fit the above description and are not happy with what they have at home no matter what their partner does?

[PJKino]

Watching porn doesnt mean were not satisfied in the bedroom we just like to watch to keep our juices flowing so to speak..

[Jersey Shortie]

To me, that statement contradicts itself. If someone is satisfied in the bedroom, why would they need the visual of other women to keep the juices flowing? If your partner is an engaging partner, why does not keep your juice flowing?

[Crazy Magnet]

Perhaps I am a strange woman, but what's the big deal about a guy watching porn? So what? Are there truly some women out there who are so insecure over a woman on a TV or a computer screen? I just don't get it. Who cares what a guy looks at when you aren't around. It's not like he's actually having sex with some other woman, he's looking at a picture!

[SOLACEMENT]

Perhaps I am a strange woman, but what's the big deal about a guy watching porn? So what? Are there truly some women out there who are so insecure over a woman on a TV or a computer screen? I just don't get it. Who cares what a guy looks at when you aren't around. It's not like he's actually having sex with some other woman, he's looking at a picture!

What she said

[homersheineken]

To me, that statement contradicts itself. If someone is satisfied in the bedroom, why would they need the visual of other women to keep the juices flowing? If your partner is an engaging partner, why does not keep your juice flowing?

 

Are you saying you can provide sex 24/7?

[Jersey Shortie]

Crazy, your response has nothing to do with any of the questions I asked.

[Jaytb]

I disagree with that quote, at least for me personally. I don't have an unlimited sex drive, and having regular sex is enough for me. But when my partner isn't here with me then I may use porn. Also I tell her that I do look at porn and it's not a problem with her. So I think instead of having one way thinking like "all porn is bad, all women hate it, all men have a similar (high) sex drive, etc" there rather is a spectrum of opinions around this topic.

[Jersey Shortie]

Are you saying you can provide sex 24/7?

 

Are you saying you can not exercise self control at any point in the day? This is not an issue of having all your needs met 24/7. Infact, it's that kind of thinking that baffles me.

[torranceshipman]

To me, that statement contradicts itself. If someone is satisfied in the bedroom, why would they need the visual of other women to keep the juices flowing? If your partner is an engaging partner, why does not keep your juice flowing?

 

I actually agree with the guy who was quoted here, on this one. I don't see watching porn as an issue. I couldn't care less if my boyfriend did it because in my mind, our intimate life, his attraction to me, etc are completely removed from generic porn watching. Sometimes people say I think like a guy and possibly here is where I do: watching porn has nothing to do with your SO, is what you do when you are bored, or a bit horny, or whatever....it's so blah in my mind it is a complete non-issue.

 

I'm assuming in the above example tho that you are dealing with an emotionally healthy, regular guy...if he is some immature dirtbag of course, then the whole porn thing can be nasty if he iisnt discreet in his use of it, if he uses it to demean his SO, if he expects his SO to behave like the girls in the porno's, etc. Now that's pretty skank.

Edited February 2, 2010 by torranceshipman

[homersheineken]

Are you saying you can not exercise self control at any point in the day? This is not an issue of having all your needs met 24/7. Infact, it's that kind of thinking that baffles me.

 

Nice deflection of asking a question instead of answering the question...

 

If you can please him sexually that often, your question becomes null very quickly.

[Left in a Lurch]

 

So here is my question. What is the point in trying to please a partner that can never be pleased, satisfied or appreciative of what you offer him?

 

Who said a guy can't be pleased or appreciate what his woman has to offer him because he is physically aroused by media other than you? Why does a guy watching porn have to be an indictment on his woman's worth to him?

 

I think if you believe your SO has to live by the sunrise and sunset in your pants and be 100% fulfilled by you and only you, you have been watching waaaayyy too many romantic movies.

[Jersey Shortie]

I didn't say anything of the kind Chat Room Hero. Funny though you tell me I've been watching too many romantic movies when I bet your porn viewing outranks my romantic movie watching tenfolds.

 

All these responses and not one person as yet been able to answer anyone of the questions I posed in my first post. what is the point in trying to be an engaging partner if men are not happy with what you offer them in the first place?

 

Nice deflection of asking a question instead of answering the question...

 

If you can please him sexually that often, your question becomes null very quickly.

 

What deflection? Have you answered anyone one of my questions? It baffles me that you even think the question should be about a woman's sexual avaibility 24/7. Completely baffles me. You do not place any expectatoins on the man or his ability to use self control. You instead decide to place expectations on her availblity to him so that he is best pleased.

 

No man needs to self satisfy himself the second he feels a little twinge. Every man here has the ability to use self control. The questions is, do yuo? Or do you instead make up lame arguments like "oh well the little woman can't be around 24/7, the second I need it , so it's okay to do anything I can to make myself feel good." Do you seriously think me nare inable to use self control. Or that if his woman isn't around he can't say "hey let me wait until she is so we can both enjoy each other and make it that much hotter"?

 

Why do you make a man's ability to view porn dependent on how often his partner spreads her legs? Why do you not place any responsiblity on the male here to use self control? Are men unable to use self control? Basically what your comment is telling me that men should not be expected to use self control. The second a man feels an impluse, he should be able to self satisfy it. The second his partner isn't there to bend over for him, he should be able to self satisfy himself any way possible. Because hey, a woman can't be around 24/7 and it's only right that a man fulfills eveyr little twinge everytime he feels something. Because a man is not expected to control his base impluses. that's your message.

[Shygirl15]

Perhaps I am a strange woman, but what's the big deal about a guy watching porn? So what? Are there truly some women out there who are so insecure over a woman on a TV or a computer screen? I just don't get it. Who cares what a guy looks at when you aren't around. It's not like he's actually having sex with some other woman, he's looking at a picture!

True but this could also suggest that he's not sexually satisfied with his SO though..

[Left in a Lurch]

I didn't say anything of the kind Chat Room Hero. Funny though you tell me I've been watching too many romantic movies when I bet your porn viewing outranks my romantic movie watching tenfolds.

 

How do you figure you didn't say anything of the kind? I responded directly to your quote and the assumption it makes that if a man likes porn it means he cannot be fulfilled by a woman so why should she try.

 

As far as how much porn I watch, what does that have to do with anything other than to try to bait me?

 

I have read a couple of other posts of yours and you seem to like to bait people and bash men with an apparent agenda. Whoever hurt you isn't posting on this board so no need to attack points of view coming from men on here.

[boogieboy]

But even if she does, it doesn't seem like it would change the fact that no matter what you do, he is still going to want to watch, enjoy and think about other women. Why should a woman exert her energy into a man if this is the case?

 

How many guys fit the above description and are not happy with what they have at home no matter what their partner does?

 

If you only date guys that are never satisfied with you sexually, then the problem is with YOu not THEM. There are plenty of guys that will be fullfilled by only you, without porn.

[MissJoness]

Perhaps I am a strange woman, but what's the big deal about a guy watching porn? So what? Are there truly some women out there who are so insecure over a woman on a TV or a computer screen? I just don't get it. Who cares what a guy looks at when you aren't around. It's not like he's actually having sex with some other woman, he's looking at a picture!

I think comments like these are just to score points w/ the guys. IRL, I don't know any woman who is totally fine with her SO looking at naked women on a regular basis; this type of stuff has so often destoryed marriages and relationships for this not to be the case.

[FryFish]

what is the point in trying to be an engaging partner if men are not happy with what you offer them in the first place?

Of course a guy is happy when you make an effort to engage them sexually. The bigger the effort the happier they will be. The point is that it is good for the relationship. Watching porn is either not really a part of the relationship from a guys point of view, that is: it doesnt mean anything to the guy. Or its supplemental, meaning, the more sex he gets the less he masturbates. For guys who have much higher sex drives than their partners porn can be a way for them to not be a gigantic bother to their partner.

 

Just because a guy looks at porn doesnt mean he isnt appreciative of the effort you make jerseyshorty.

[Crazy Magnet]

I think comments like these are just to score points w/ the guys. IRL, I don't know any woman who is totally fine with her SO looking at naked women on a regular basis; this type of stuff has so often destoryed marriages and relationships for this not to be the case.

 

I honestly have NEVER had an issue in my entire life with any boyfriend looking at porn. But then again, I honestly believe that my own personal body is better than anything he's going to view on the internet or in a movie. I would never bother to date a man who chose porn over me, I'd dump him before the relationship ever really got going.

 

OP I guess I am unclear as to what your question is. Perhaps you could rephrase, and I will answer again?

[TheBigQuestion]

I honestly have NEVER had an issue in my entire life with any boyfriend looking at porn. But then again, I honestly believe that my own personal body is better than anything he's going to view on the internet or in a movie. I would never bother to date a man who chose porn over me, I'd dump him before the relationship ever really got going.

 

OP I guess I am unclear as to what your question is. Perhaps you could rephrase, and I will answer again?

 

Honestly, this is a very healthy attitude for a woman to have regarding male porn-watching habits. There are some cases where porn can become a huge problem in a relationship (as in the guy starts blatantly refusing to have sex and goes to watch porn instead), but for the most part it really has no bearing on a relationship whatsoever. The exception is when the woman is exceptionally insecure with herself.

[boogieboy]

1.) But then again, I honestly believe that my own personal body is better than anything he's going to view on the internet or in a movie.

 

2.) I would never bother to date a man who chose porn over me, I'd dump him before the relationship ever really got going.

 

1.) Most women wont do personal work for this sort of self esteem (whether its true or not)

 

2.) Why cant all women think this way? Oh yeah, self esteem.

[TheBigQuestion]

In another thread the poster Chat Room Hero made this comment:

 

 

 

So here is my question. What is the point in trying to please a partner that can never be pleased, satisfied or appreciative of what you offer him? Alot of men request that their partners be more adventurous, dress up cutely, try new things. Even if we do these things, it would seem that that still would not be enough. It makes men seem like a bottomless vacuum there to suck any available titilation and unable to use any form of self control. I guess I don't understand what's the point in a woman even bothering to try, if the end result is the same if she does or doesn't. So many me ncomplain about their woman not giving enough sex. But even if she does, it doesn't seem like it would change the fact that no matter what you do, he is still going to want to watch, enjoy and think about other women. Why should a woman exert her energy into a man if this is the case?

 

I'd love to see what you guys think. Sincere repsonse. Because I don't really see what the pay off is if your a woman who doesn't try or does, and either way yields the same results. Not more loyatly or satisfaction with your partner but a bottomless indulgence in porn. How many guys fit the above description and are not happy with what they have at home no matter what their partner does?

 

Oh, and the reason a lot of people aren't answering your questions is because your statements and assumptions are fundamentally flawed.

 

Watching porn doesn't mean that a man is not appreciative of his significant other being sexually available and interested. Human beings are monogamous by culture, not by nature, so that explains why most men feel lust (however quick and transient) for other women even when in a relationship. Women get the same feelings as well, except it's not nearly as socially acceptable for them to use porn as an outlet for residual sex drive (though this is changing). Another thing that people forget is that porn is nearly always used as a masturbation aid; it's something done quickly and without some type of emotional attachment. Men have always masturbated more than women, even before the easy availability of porn.

 

What this really comes down to is a miscommunication issue. Almost every one of my friends and acquaintances throughout my life have used porn on a regular basis, and they rarely if ever complained that their women weren't willing to do some crazy thing they saw in a porn movie. Most of the time, when men complain about women being lackluster in bed, it usually results from the woman just laying there and taking it, being unimaginative, lacking energy, and so forth. All of which are reasonable criticisms and are not the fault of porn. Things can stagnate in the bedroom after a couple has been together for 2+ years just because its the same sorts of things being done over and over again. That's when the time comes to experiment. Once again, this has nothing to do with porn. It has to do with the fact that human beings crave novelty and variety, especially in an era where sexuality is no longer repressed.

 

So to answer your questions: 99% of guys who get into an LTR with you will be more than happy if you have good sex with them and aren't afraid to try new things once in a blue moon, will not prefer porn to you, will not watch porn in place of having sex with you, and so forth. Men will rarely leave a woman for the SOLE reason that the sex isn't good, although I've read in many places that women do this far more frequently. Hmm...

[Awesome Username]

I see what you're saying, Jersey. You're not arguing over whether or not it's right or if a man should watch porn. You're asking that now that porn does exist and that pretty much every man on the planet is going to watch it even though it hurts their women's feelings, why those women should even dress up for their men. If most of the time visually, they're not their number one choice; AKA, why delude yourself into thinking you're the most special women in his eyes when the only thing that's keeping him from banging another porno woman is A. He can't get her and B. She doesn't share his morals...

 

I dress up cute because if I'm not the subject of my (hypothetically) boyfriend's fantasy while he's whackin' it, maybe I'm the subject of someone else who I saw that day. If he knows that it's likely that other men secretly want a turn, he's more likely to fight for me and not take me for granted as if he's the only man on the planet that is interested in a relationship.

 

In all honesty Jersey, my mind wanders and even when I'm in a relationship with a guy I love (and I would never cheat, I'm a firm believer in loyalty and monogamy), I still fantasize about other stuff and people once in a while. The best a man can do is get me to just think about him MOST of the time, and I likely expect that it's the same way for most men regarding myself. Sometimes I have to take a break from the norm and think about some whack-ass stuff or people to reaffirm my mental independence. I have a separate center in my brain for arousal and love - most of the time they merge, but sometimes they don't. It's just two different sides that sometimes clash with each other.

 

So why try? Well, only do what you're comfortable with and don't try too hard. Find a man who either doesn't watch porn, or who is excellent at hiding it. A man's attention and devotion is fine, but it certainly isn't everything and I think that having a sense of humor when it comes to mens' baser instincts is important. Men get aroused when the seat of a bus rattles against their balls. If they think about you most of the time when they're jerkin' it that's good enough for me, because I'm certainly thinking about a variety of stuff when it's the other way around. The man I'm dating is not going to be the subject of my fantasies 100 percent of the time. I would actually be deluding myself if I thought that it would actually be possible for me, but certainly he would be most of the time.

 

In conclusion, get what you an when you can and only try when there is a reason or a possible favorable outcome. If he's so addicted to porn that it makes you unable to even be intimate with him without wanting to crawl in a corner and feel like you're his second choice, kick him out. If you're not getting what you're putting into it, you're better off single.

[Alma Mobley]

I know this doesn't answer your "questions," but I don't know why any man would want to engage in a discussion with you about this. Look how you ask your questions and formulate your argument. You pathologize men's behavior and put them on the defensive. For example:

 

- If a man looks at porn while also being sexually satisfied with his partner, he is a "bottomless vacuum there to suck any available titillation and unable to use any form of self control."

 

- A woman probably shouldn't try to please her partner if he watches porn, even if it's only occasionally, because he has no "more loyalty or satisfaction with [his] partner but a bottomless indulgence in porn."

 

- Then you ask if the men here fit this description and "are not happy with what they have at home no matter what their partner does." So if he watches any porn, that automatically means that of course he is not happy with his partner.

 

- You accuse people of not answering your question(s) and then reiterate your point of view with, "What is the point of trying to be an engaging partner if men are not happy with what you offer them in the first place?"

 

The questions are rigged, and you know it. Of course your question isn't being answered because people are not accepting your premise embedded within the questions -- that porn watching means a man is not happy/loyal/satisfied/whatever with his partner.

 

If you really just wanted to ask a question, you would, e.g. "why do men still watch porn, even when in a sexually satisfying relationship?" Instead, you put men down within your questions. It doesn't sound like you are seeking honest answers, but using the pretext of curiosity to bash men who watch pornography.

[Trialbyfire]

Behind every cynic, there's a romantic.

 

I think this quote can be applied to you, Jersey Shortie. I'm also not certain that a man exists, who can live up to your fairy tale ideal and I don't mean that in a nasty or cutting way. No one can be everyone's "all" and living on a pedestal is a cold place to be.