Jump to content

Friend reporting to my ex


Sprig

Recommended Posts

About this time last year the girl I was dating broke up with me, I was really disappointed that it ended as I really liked this girl. It was sort of a bitter sweet break up for both of us as we both really liked each other. There just was I guess something missing for her. But she really honestly deeply cared about me.

 

The thing is my ex and I had sort of a mutual friend who I’ll call Kim. I confided in Kim quite a bit when I needed someone to talk to and get advice on the post relationship. Since she knew both of us, she was really helpful and offered good insight. Since the break up I have had coffee with Kim (just as friends) on few occasions. Before this we were just sort of Facebook friends. Kim originally asked me out for coffee since we live close to each other and have sort of simliar interests.

 

I was okay with this, but stressed a number of times that whatever was happening in my life, whatever I shared with her was not to be reported back to my ex.

 

I want zero contact with my ex and zero to do with her. I wouldn't feel comfortable being around her if I knew that some of what I say might up being told to my ex. I knew that my ex would want to know details of how I was doing, what I was up to, how I was cooping, if I was dating again, how my job is going etc.. (again, as she did care about me)

 

Just before Christmas I finally made contact with my ex after nearly a year, we sent a few e-mails back and forth and I finally suggest that maybe we get together for coffee. We meet for coffee and talked for about 2 hours and honestly I really enjoyed myself and I think my ex really enjoyed herself too. We both sort of gave each other updates on our lives and what we have been up to. A couple times throughout the conversation after telling her certain minor details of my life, (pet passes away, activities I was involved in, ) she mentioned that she already knew these things as Kim told her.

 

I am very disappointed in Kim. I thought I made it very clear that I didn’t want her to report back to my ex, but she did it anyway.

 

Friendship with my ex maybe a possibility and I know that if the fabric of this friendship is to hold I really can’t confront Kim about this. I don't think there is much I can do at this point.

 

Has anyone had to deal with this kind of stuff before? What did you do, or if you can offer any advice that would be great.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, my ex (when I was still together with her) never told her closest friend anything about our relationship. I always thought that girls would talk about that stuff with each other but my ex says that they wouldn't be interested. Though, I personally think my ex was just not that into me to be open to her closest friends and be excited about it. Some of them had to find out through me that we were dating, which was weird.

 

I spoke to her best friend quite often and confided in her a lot. She always swore confidentiality and I trust her. If she ever broke that trust, of course I would not confide in her again. Thing is, I know my ex won't be asking her about me because she is with another guy. I also don't think I'll be confiding in her much anymore since she always sticks up for my ex even when she is clearly in the wrong and being biased doesn't help me gain another perspective on things. Things are also pretty messy.

 

I agree with D-Lish.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah never do that again. If you need to confide in a girl, confide in your sister or some other girl who isn't friends with your ex. You can get yourself into serious trouble talking to your ex's friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Yeah, I hear what you guys are saying. When there was a first indication a few months ago info might being leaked I played my cards a lot closer to my chest so to speak. I didn't talk to Kim about anything important, ie How I was doing, If I was dating, what I was feeling, what I was thinking about being friends with the ex..etc

 

Since that time, I still haven't said too mnay things to Kim. But since we're Facebook friends and we did meet up for coffee once she still had info. Looks as though no info is the only way to go.

 

It's kind of sad really, that Kim couldn't keep her mouth shut. I don't know how much I can trust her anymore.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Did you meet Kim through your ex or were you friends with Kim on your own?

 

I knew her before meeting my ex, actually we were friends before she even met my ex. However as I said we just knew each other through Facebook and never met up.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...