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In need of advice on abandoned boyfriend


Ireland

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[font=arial][/font][color=indigo][/color] :o

 

Hey everyone, this is my second time writing and I could use a little advise on this one:

 

I have been dating a new guy for almost six months now. Now I know that men don't open up like women do (in general) and I can deal with that.

 

The thing is, the guy I am dating was pretty much abandoned by his father and his mother passed away at a young age. He was raised by a family that took him in. As you could imagine, he is especially closed off. I mean he is in his late 20's and I am the longest relationship he has been in.

 

I am not a pushy girlfriend by any means, and I don't need a lot, I just want to know that I am important in some part of his life. I do not want to make him uncomfortable but I need a little more verbal affection or affirmation to make myself totally comfortable.

 

Any ideas on how to go about this???

Anything will be appreciated.

Thanks!

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Increase your level of verbal affection and possibly he will follow. Talk to him and let him know that you desire this. He may want to stay closed. He needs to be sure that he is safe with opening up to you. You need to make this obvious to him.

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Ok I can relate to this guy in that I don't open up to people. But I think that other guy has the right idea. You should let him know that you care, that you can be his "safe place" that he can trust you no matter what. This will take time. You should be ready to go for a long time with this. Things like this can often take a long time. I can't even tell my own mother that I love her. I have been in therapy for that for almost 5 years. So have some patience and it will all come in time. and it will be wonderful to know that you help that happen. :bunny:

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