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Ok fine, what do you want me to do?


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Most of the women on here keep saying it's my attitude and jaded women that is preventing girls from being attractive to me. Fine. I'll take your advice. But what exactly do you want me to do or change? At this point there is virtually nothing to improve.

 

I'm 27, going to be 28 in a few months.

Have a BS degree, finishing up masters by next year.

Have a job making around 80k

Have my own apartment, own car, both very nice.

I'm 5'7 and weigh 145 @ 10% body fat. My body and fitness level are maxed out.

I have lots of hobbies but all of them are male dominated.

 

So at this point, what can I do? Just walk around with a smile on my face and think happy thoughts and I'll have women attracted to me? Is that really what you guys are recommending to me?

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One thing I can teach you. NEVER ASK WOMEN FOR ADVICE ON DATING.

 

Why? Because different women (and they are all different) are attracted to different things.

 

Just keep an open mind and let go of the past. Be confident and be yourself. I can tell you if you and I had applications next to each other, you beat me in alot of aspects.

 

But I have had alot of vry succesful dates in the past few months. IDK what it is, but I just gave up and acted like it didn't even matter, like it wasn't important... and it definately has worked.

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Why is meeting women that are attracted to you priority?

 

It is attitude that matters. Maybe you should focus on feeling better in your own skin before you go out women hunting.

 

Like I said in your previous thread (whether you believe it or not) i'm dating a guy who is 5'7. I'm dating him because he carries himself well. Yes, I do know he is insecure about it, but he doesn't let that show.

 

It doesn't matter what your physical fitness is like, or what kind of apartment you have... if you can change your attitude about yourself, and others around you, you will have women flocking to you.

 

I see this happen all the time. Preferences can change if they meet someone that has all the other qualities they want. (For example, confidence).

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So at this point, what can I do?

get out of the house, go to singles events, meet chicks, take risks....basically put yourself out there man

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I can't speak for anyone else, but honestly the biggest difference between a man I'll notice and one I won't is the way he interacts with me. I like positive, friendly men, who smile and say hello. Even the homeless guy who tells me I'm pretty doesn't creep me out; I don't even care if he means it. It makes me feel good, in the moment.

 

So if we're in Starbucks and someone says hi and makes a little joke, that's a huge opening. And no matter what happens next, it's a start. If neither one of us says anything, the odds go to zero. So being friendly and approachable definitely creates more opportunity for something else.

 

That said, there are also plenty of situations and times in your life where it doesn't matter what you do; you're just not meeting anyone you're interested in, or they're not interested in you. It happens to everyone. Those are the times you either find other things to do that you enjoy, or you just roll with it, and know it will change eventually. I've been single for years at a time. Everything ebbs and flows.

 

Women have been told for years that men can smell "desperation" in the women they meet. I have no idea whether that's true, but I do think you can tell when someone is angry and bitter or open and optimistic.

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Most of the women on here keep saying it's my attitude and jaded women that is preventing girls from being attractive to me. Fine. I'll take your advice. But what exactly do you want me to do or change? At this point there is virtually nothing to improve.

 

I'm 27, going to be 28 in a few months.

Have a BS degree, finishing up masters by next year.

Have a job making around 80k

Have my own apartment, own car, both very nice.

I'm 5'7 and weigh 145 @ 10% body fat. My body and fitness level are maxed out.

I have lots of hobbies but all of them are male dominated.

 

So at this point, what can I do? Just walk around with a smile on my face and think happy thoughts and I'll have women attracted to me? Is that really what you guys are recommending to me?

 

It's not about your achievements at this point right now. It's about how you talk to them and how you act around them.

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Don't be like all the other guys talking and asking about the same old boring ****.. what do you do.. where do you live.. the boring mundane **** that noone wants to talk about.

 

Be different

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and.then.some

YES! Think happy thoughts. But, no, that's not all. It's a change of perspective. I don't mean just how you view women and dating, but everything.

 

Okay, so we know your weight, height, what you own, and... you've just described a lot of other people I pass on the street every day. And???

 

Is that all you look for in women? Weight, height, body fat, and ownership of certain things?

 

Character? integrity? Temperament? Ambitions? What's your personality like? What are your values? How about those of your ideal woman? You're not the piece of paper your received on graduation day anymore than you are your car.

 

Yes, those are great things to have. But who are you beyond that? You don't have to really tell me. I don't really care. :-) But this is something you need to know about yourself and who you really are, and thus what you actually need in a mate.

 

It's happy thoughts. It's understanding yourself. Being sure of yourself and who you are. Being sure of what you actually need and want in your life beyond a warm body.

 

I have a friend who is probably about your height and weight. At the time he had no car, didn't have his own place, but he had a fair job and was saving money. No degree either, btw. I love him dearly, but when the angels were passing out pretty faces they totally forgot about him. And yet, he never had a shortage of ladies after him. He actually managed to land a very pretty wife who, as far as I can tell, would be "ideal".

 

He's a happy guy! He has a magnetic personality and doesn't waste his time and energy on trivial things and excess drama. He's all about progress and results. He sets a goal and does what he needs to obtain it. I actually witnessed his female screening process too, and was in the running without even knowing it. He didn't use a strong approach. He started out very casual and friendly... with... lots of female friends. It wasn't about who would accept him. It was about him weeding them all out to see who was worth going after. Notice the difference in mindset?

 

The one he chose had a no good boyfriend when he first met her, and she stayed in a maybe file with all the rest, till he saw that she just might be the one.

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The fact of the matter is yes you should feel good about yourself and not worry about females as the end all be all but the truth is having confidence and a good attitude will not make girls automatically attracted to you,theyres either physical attraction right away or theyres not u cant create it..

 

People are just trying to make u feel better buy feeding you fluff..

 

Thsi idea a women can look at you right away and say eww then later be sexually attracted to you because of your confidence is bs,theyre has to be physical/sexual chermsitry on some level or nothing will happen..A great personality wil lelad to the friend zone..

 

And to the women who said you shouldnt worry about finding women as your top priority i agree to a point but it gets lonely when years go by and it seems like nobody of the oppsoite sex is attracted to you and you have no effection and companionship form the opposite sex as you watch your friends in happy relationships..

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  1. Cut the crappy victim's attitude.
  2. Broaden your horizons, with interests in different areas. Become more of a Renaissance Man, rather than someone who can't talk about more than 5 topics.
  3. Relax.
  4. Grab a sense of humour. Better yet, get some wit.
  5. Socialize more. Talk to everyone and anyone. The more practice you have with social skills, the more friends you will make, so your entire life isn't focused on being self-centered.
  6. Instead of solely viewing life through a negative lens, learn to enjoy the simple things in life, like a warm summer's breeze or the way a pet tilts their adorable little head.

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I'm 27, going to be 28 in a few months.

Have a BS degree, finishing up masters by next year.

Have a job making around 80k

Have my own apartment, own car, both very nice.

I'm 5'7 and weigh 145 @ 10% body fat. My body and fitness level are maxed out.

 

 

 

That's your problem. :rolleyes:

 

You seem quite superficial, and your thinking pattern implies you believe you should have no problem finding a woman, because of your degree, the money you make, and your nice car. Oh, and that you have a lean body. Your mindset appears to be way off.

 

That's funny, because you keep b*tching about your life, but you have no clue where the problem starts.

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and.then.some
The fact of the matter is yes you should feel good about yourself and not worry about females as the end all be all but the truth is having confidence and a good attitude will not make girls automatically attracted to you,theyres either physical attraction right away or theyres not u cant create it..

 

People are just trying to make u feel better buy feeding you fluff..

 

Thsi idea a women can look at you right away and say eww then later be sexually attracted to you because of your confidence is bs,theyre has to be physical/sexual chermsitry on some level or nothing will happen..A great personality wil lelad to the friend zone..

 

And to the women who said you shouldnt worry about finding women as your top priority i agree to a point but it gets lonely when years go by and it seems like nobody of the oppsoite sex is attracted to you and you have no effection and companionship form the opposite sex as you watch your friends in happy relationships..

 

You say that as though you've never seen a mix-matched couple! It happens! That particular woman might not have said "eew" in the example I gave above. I can't say as I didn't know her then.

 

Not to imply that the OP is even an "eew" at all, but I can speak from personal experience, and yes, I have become attracted to guys of whom I previously thought "I don't think so". You may not want to accept it, but it really does happen.

 

There is a huge difference between a guy being something we wouldn't generally go for, and something about him being a complete turn off. If a woman in very serious about a man's teeth, she may never make an exception. It really depends.

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you are 5"7 but you can compensate it with good communication skills.

Anyway, if you want to get laid, keep in mind that emotional connection is the most important thing for girls. So, read/learn NLP and use it on girls.

It will do miracles.

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Age adjusted we are the same. Same inflation adjusted salary - you are 1 inch taller then me - I was a bit more bulked up then you at that age. Not steroidal but I weighed almost 160. And yes it helped :) women respond to height the most - but they DO also respond to the amount of physical power you project.

 

I was a techie and had a bit of a chip on my shoulder - deep sigh. I found a way to remove the chip - became more upbeat and fun to be around. NOT the nice guy syndrome. Women got one date to react ok to me. If they were just not that into me - I moved on. No big deal. If they seemed to be into me and it was mutual - I gave it a shot.

 

LOTS of women eliminated me before the first date based on height. So what. Lots decided after the first date they didn't like the whole package. Again so what. I kept working on me. I got good at being ME. One day I met someone I really clicked with physically and emotionally and we did the usual stuff. I think the taller guys got laid a lot more then me before marriage. I KNOW I get laid a lot more then the average married guy now. And I know the quality of sex is a lot better from what I read. Being tall wears off - being funny - smart - assertive - positive - does not. Oh yeah - I had to get good at all THAT stuff because I wasn't well - you know - TALL. My wife is 4 inches shorter - and has stayed fit/hot for me. So most of my neighbors are taller - with lessor sex lives and less fit wives. I actually like how this story turned out.

 

On our first date you know what really "did it" for my wife. The way I handled a hiccup that happened because I had to work late. I told her plan A was hosed and I always had a plan B - and she really liked that. It helped that plan B was a good plan eh? Still I hope you get my point.

 

But you have to meet lots of women at your height - because despite all your other good qualities - a high percent will eliminate you based on your height. But you can put yourself in the right situation - and the odds will help you if you meet many females as long as your anger/negativity does not drive them away....

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the women on here keep saying it's my attitude and jaded women that is preventing girls from being attractive to me. Fine. I'll take your advice. But what exactly do you want me to do or change? At this point there is virtually nothing to improve.

 

I'm 27, going to be 28 in a few months.

Have a BS degree, finishing up masters by next year.

Have a job making around 80k

Have my own apartment, own car, both very nice.

I'm 5'7 and weigh 145 @ 10% body fat. My body and fitness level are maxed out.

I have lots of hobbies but all of them are male dominated.

 

So at this point, what can I do? Just walk around with a smile on my face and think happy thoughts and I'll have women attracted to me? Is that really what you guys are recommending to me?

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One thing I can teach you. NEVER ASK WOMEN FOR ADVICE ON DATING.

This the best advice you're going to get in this thread. Do not, under any circumstances, take a woman's advice on dating at face value.

 

The way it works with women, they say theywant one thing, think they want something else, and subconsciously want something else entirely. For example, women say that they want a stable, dependable "nice guy". What they think they want is a romantic, sensitive, knight-in-shining-armor type they know from books and stupid chick flicks. What they actually want is a "bad boy" who would add a measure of excitement and drama to their average, boring lives.

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To add to the above post, the secret to success with women, on a fundamental level, is to become an interesting and exciting person. Attractive women have lots of guys hitting on them, stalking them, showering them with gift and compliments, and practically begging them for affection. And while on some level, hot women enjoy this attention from men (and even more importantly, the jealousy of 'lesser' females), it is also quite annoying having to constantly deal with all these losers. It may be hard to imagine yourself in their shoes, but if you were accosted by women everywhere you went, you'd also develop a bitchy prima donna attitude in no time.

 

And while it may be pathetic that so many men are acting this way and ruining it for the rest of us, that's life and there's nothing you can do about it. What you can do is figure out a way to stand out from this gray, amorphous crowd of ass kissers and offer women something that the average ass kissing beta male cannot: an escape from their boring, mundane reality.

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What you can do is figure out a way to stand out from this gray, amorphous crowd of ass kissers and offer women something that the average ass kissing beta male cannot: an escape from their boring, mundane reality.

 

Why would you even want to be with someone who was living in a bored, mundane reality?

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There is nothing wrong with you, but smiles help :)

 

I mean, who would you rather approach? A girl at the bar with a straight face, constantly looking at her martini glass? Or the happy girl who is all laughs and smiles and is having a good time?

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thegreatmoose
To add to the above post, the secret to success with women, on a fundamental level, is to become an interesting and exciting person.

This is NOT incompatible with being nice. Someone can be nice and interesting and exciting.

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Left in a Lurch
One thing I can teach you. NEVER ASK WOMEN FOR ADVICE ON DATING.

 

This is true and it's not disrespecting women, but any advice I have gotten has been terrible.

 

They'll tell you to keep trying to get a girl that you'll later find out told them they have no interest in you.

 

They'll tell you to do things that make you look like a wuss, or things that may be romantic in a movie, but in reality it makes you look kinda gay.

 

Most women want to date men, not a woman with a dick, but advice they give you will make your boobs grow two sizes if you take it.

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Why would you even want to be with someone who was living in a bored, mundane reality?

Because that describes about 95% of population. Most of our lives consists of things we do because we have to do them: going to school, working, etc. Even people who "love" their jobs can't wait for the weekend abd would happily quit the moment they won the lottery. And when we are not working, we are still preoccupied with various worries: stressing out over finances, feeling insecure about something, dealing with various personal problems, etc.

 

And even people who are gorgeous, popular, and have no financial concerns (and very small portion of the population) get caught up in the routine. Traveling the world and partying non-stop gets old pretty fast. Do you think Paris Hilton finds her lifestyle particularly exciting? I doubt it.

 

The bottom line is that, regardless of socio-economic status, very few people lead exciting lives. That's why "adventurous" men are so popular both with their male friends and with women.

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Stop making women a priority and stop caring what they think. The less you care about them the more they care about you.

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I mean, who would you rather approach? A girl at the bar with a straight face, constantly looking at her martini glass? Or the happy girl who is all laughs and smiles and is having a good time?

The one with the the bigger tits :D

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