JL911 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Well we had it out tonight...It ended with her telling me she cared so much for me and the reason shes been so distant is because ever since our trip shes fallen deeply for me and is having problems figuring things out... Her career path is one which may require her to move away at some point...possibly to another country...She has in the back of her mind having to choose a career or love...Its nothing immediatly effecting things, and nothing is actually for certain just yet or set in stone... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JL911 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Is this something I should worry about...She graduates with a masters in 2011? I mean who knows where we will be in another year....She keeps telling me she overthinks things and I guess maybe she sees me as someone shed like to stay with and doesnt want to have to choose... Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 So i'm assuming that she's in her early 20's? It's perfectly normal for her to be thinking that way. I think that you both have a problem with living in the moment. Just take a deep breath and enjoy each day you spend together. I know that sounds cheesy as hell but it's the only way to a healthy relationship. Sure, she has goals and you have goals. I'm worried that you may be with someone who is not at the same level your are when it comes to what you want in a relationship. She's dealt with losers and you've been through the fire. It seems like you are looking for a long term relationship while she is looking towards her future career. When my EX and I broke up one of the first girls I went out with was a 22 year old. I was just about 28 and my ex was 31. Now I had just come out of a broken engagement and this girl was on break from college. She was gorgeous but I came on waaaaay to strong too fast (not one of my finer moments) because of two reasons: 1) I was trying to pick up where I left off which my ex. 2) I was dealing with someone who was almost 10 years younger than my EX and had much different expectations out of their life at that point. Looking back, it was probably better that things worked out the way that they did with the young girl because it didn't look like she knew what she wanted out of life, let alone be in a meaningful relationship. Yes, you should keep this in the back of your mind that she is thinking about going abroad. But take things one day at a time and realize that it's not always about getting to that final destination, but enjoying the ride. You have to stop over-analyzing, it's going to eat you up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JL911 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Dusty, She brought it up...Shes terrified of me for the reasons above...Shes dealt with the losers and boom in pops ol JL with his morals, good looks, charm, and his too good to be true persona... I have literally thrown a monkey wrench into this girls works, because her life goals have been to be this and go here and there, and at the same time she dont want to let go of me anytime soon according to her...I can see her confusion... I countered her objections with the above things you stated...Lets not get too far ahead of ourselves and enjoy what we have now, but apparently I am that much different and man I must be deep inside her head for her to be looking ahead years in advance... Im 26. Ive got time... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 When will the 3 month mark pass? Link to post Share on other sites
DustySaltus Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 When will the 3 month mark pass? It seems like it is getting pretty deep. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 'deep' is when people of a certain psychology bolt. Hope the OP is accepting of that, if it happens. It's not about him. Meantime, enjoy Link to post Share on other sites
Author JL911 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Yea im prepared for the worst...Seems shes right on the edge of fallin head over heels or running for the hills. I realize there is only so much I can control....Mainly I only control me and what I do. I know what type of person I am and what I bring to the table...If she "bolts" it certainly has nothing to do with me...It would be rather disappointing, but what more am I able to do??...Id probaly take a nice break from dating, and just move on... I can lead a horse to water, but I cannot make it drink... Link to post Share on other sites
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