Example of a woman in early dating stage

[calizaggy]

I have read a few threads on here in which men ask if the woman is playing games, interested, not interested, if they should pursue, blow her off etc. I have had these same questions in the past myself.

 

So, I have a very good female friend that I have known for 10 years, and we tell each other everything. Recently she told me about her current dating situation.

 

She went out and met a guy, then later went on a date with him. They ended up having sex and spending 2 days together..She even met his family on Thanksgiving.

 

She calls to tell me this story, tells me she made a mistake, and has ZERO interest in this guy, and wants nothing to do with him. She rips him apart. She said she was just drunk, and did not have sex in a long time.

 

But for some reason, they go on date 2. At the end of the night she gives him the cold shoulder, and says goodbye. She tells me he was irritated by her dismissive behavior, and how this also turned her off. Once again, she went into a diatribe about all the things she hates about him.

 

Then during the same conversation, she breaks down and says "I am really attracted to this guy and I really like him, but I think he will hurt me. I hope i didn't ruin it". I call her on this and point out this is the opposite of what she has been telling me for the past week. She then goes into a rant about how men cheat,and how she doesn't have enough to offer.

 

So this guy is probably wondering why he was given the cold shoulder, curious as to what he might have said or did wrong, going over everything in his head, and wondering about what his next move should be. I feel sorry for him.

 

So there you have it.. Many women are so conflicted and confused themselves that they do not even know how they feel. Often times when men think they might be "playing games" they really are not, as they are just sort of "nutty" for lack of a better term.

Edited December 12, 2009 by calizaggy

[Leonard]

Women are victims to their own primal instincts and are attracted to power and alpha-male like attributes.

 

Even though a guy is the most ugly balding sickening person you've ever met, if he displays his alpha-male characteristics just right, he can get any woman in the bag.

 

It doesn't matter if the woman is well educated or an airhead, they all fall prey to their instincts. Women don't act on logic when choosing a partner, they act on their emotions. Certain men have this figured out and know how to manipulate this, and this is why women are sometimes seen dating and sleeping with unemployed alcoholics (who can play the game), while the reasonably successful nice guy (who are 'emotionally boring') gets rejected and left out.

 

Until women learn to resist these primitive urges, then they will always fall for the same trap again and again, and 'nice guys' will always be left wondering why women go for the balding biker gang member.

 

Hope this helps explain the facts

[torranceshipman]

Wow...not surprised she is single, then! I'm a female and she confuses me! Can't say she's a good example of what all females do. But who knows, maybe there's a lot of confused people out there...

[b52s]

I have read a few threads on here in which men ask if the woman is playing games, interested, not interested, if they should pursue, blow her off etc. I have had these same questions in the past myself.

 

So, I have a very good female friend that I have known for 10 years, and we tell each other everything. Recently she told me about her current dating situation.

 

She went out and met a guy, then later went on a date with him. They ended up having sex and spending 2 days together..She even met his family on Thanksgiving.

 

She calls to tell me this story, tells me she made a mistake, and has ZERO interest in this guy, and wants nothing to do with him. She rips him apart. She said she was just drunk, and did not have sex in a long time.

 

But for some reason, they go on date 2. At the end of the night she gives him the cold shoulder, and says goodbye. She tells me he was irritated by her dismissive behavior, and how this also turned her off. Once again, she went into a diatribe about all the things she hates about him.

 

Then during the same conversation, she breaks down and says "I am really attracted to this guy and I really like him, but I think he will hurt me. I hope i didn't ruin it". I call her on this and point out this is the opposite of what she has been telling me for the past week. She then goes into a rant about how men cheat,and how she doesn't have enough to offer.

 

So this guy is probably wondering why he was given the cold shoulder, curious as to what he might have said or did wrong, going over everything in his head, and wondering about what his next move should be. I feel sorry for him.

 

So there you have it.. Many women are so conflicted and confused themselves that they do not even know how they feel. Often times when men think they might be "playing games" they really are not, as they are just sort of "nutty" for lack of a better term.

 

She's a flake/wack job...nuff said. And plus they had sex too soon. I mean, meet the family on the first date? Come on man!

[SoulSearch_CO]

Damn. I would NOT say that is normal. She sounds like she needs meds. I feel bad for the poor bastard she's stringing along. He sounds like he might be a "nice guy" and he's going to end up torn to shreds by this chick and bitter about the entire female species. Great.

[alphamale]

Women are victims to their own primal instincts and are attracted to power and alpha-male like attributes.

indeed .

[sonicranger]

Damn. I would NOT say that is normal. She sounds like she needs meds. I feel bad for the poor bastard she's stringing along. He sounds like he might be a "nice guy" and he's going to end up torn to shreds by this chick and bitter about the entire female species. Great.

 

Agreed.

 

 

I will not tolerate any type of "games" or drama. I don't need Jerry Springer type crap in my life, if I wanted it I'm sure I could find it. I DO NOT want it and therefore only pursue women who clearly exhibit no such behavior.

 

Sounds so simple and easy doesn't it? Yet of course we all know that it isn't this easy.

[You'reasian]

I have read a few threads on here in which men ask if the woman is playing games, interested, not interested, if they should pursue, blow her off etc. I have had these same questions in the past myself.

 

So, I have a very good female friend that I have known for 10 years, and we tell each other everything. Recently she told me about her current dating situation.

 

She went out and met a guy, then later went on a date with him. They ended up having sex and spending 2 days together..She even met his family on Thanksgiving.

 

She calls to tell me this story, tells me she made a mistake, and has ZERO interest in this guy, and wants nothing to do with him. She rips him apart. She said she was just drunk, and did not have sex in a long time.

 

But for some reason, they go on date 2. At the end of the night she gives him the cold shoulder, and says goodbye. She tells me he was irritated by her dismissive behavior, and how this also turned her off. Once again, she went into a diatribe about all the things she hates about him.

 

Then during the same conversation, she breaks down and says "I am really attracted to this guy and I really like him, but I think he will hurt me. I hope i didn't ruin it". I call her on this and point out this is the opposite of what she has been telling me for the past week. She then goes into a rant about how men cheat,and how she doesn't have enough to offer.

 

So this guy is probably wondering why he was given the cold shoulder, curious as to what he might have said or did wrong, going over everything in his head, and wondering about what his next move should be. I feel sorry for him.

 

So there you have it.. Many women are so conflicted and confused themselves that they do not even know how they feel. Often times when men think they might be "playing games" they really are not, as they are just sort of "nutty" for lack of a better term.

 

Sounds like they spent more than just 2 nights together.

 

Deep down she really likes this guy but is finding ways to hate him.

Why? Because first she said he cheated, but then says that she likes him but is afraid of getting hurt.

 

I've noticed when women go through rough spells, all their lady friends come in and tag-team rip the guy to shreads - well, alot of them. We guys actually sit around, pat each other on the back, drink a beer and do stuff to keep our buddy's mind occupied. Why such a difference?

 

The couple should go through a couples class. Learn what it means to commit etc.

[monkey00]

Wow it sounds to me like this women has a lot of emotional baggage. At the end of the day it's all about the hormones.

 

If I didn't live with a female roommate this year, I would never have realized how irrational and emotional they can be. One minute they can be sweet and kind, the next minute bitchy, and then start arguments with you out of the blue. Especially if they had a bad/lousy day or something went wrong, if you're the first person they see...you could end up a victim of their frustration.

 

But it sounds to me like your friend does have rational reasons to be 'nutty', albeit irrational actions that are hard to reverse when set in motion.

[ADF]

Frankly, your friend sounds like a basket case. The guy is well rid of her.

[D-Lish]

Even though a guy is the most ugly balding sickening person you've ever met, if he displays his alpha-male characteristics just right, he can get any woman in the bag.

 

It doesn't matter if the woman is well educated or an airhead, they all fall prey to their instincts. Women don't act on logic when choosing a partner, they act on their emotions. Certain men have this figured out and know how to manipulate this, and this is why women are sometimes seen dating and sleeping with unemployed alcoholics (who can play the game), while the reasonably successful nice guy (who are 'emotionally boring') gets rejected and left out.

 

Hope this helps explain the facts

 

If the facts are that you're on crack... yes it does help explain things.

 

---------------------------------

 

The girl is obviously insecure. She likes him, and the more she likes him, the more she envisions how much it will hurt when it ends. She's resisting her positive feelings to avoid an end result (pain). It is really as simple as that. She hasn't had a relationship work out yet obviously, so she doesn't have happy ending references, only painful ones.

 

It's a trust issue, trusting herself, trusting him, trusting fate.

 

It's unfortunate that she is working through it with defense mechanisms instead of just admitting she is scared. We all get a little scared when we meet someone we like a lot- we just don't all act crazy on the outside.

 

Perhaps your friend isn't as insightful as she should be- which is why she is acting out instead of being more introspective and keeping her behaviour in check. If you care to, maybe you can help her with that.

[Mary3]

indeed .

 

I am not attracted to power. I am attracted to a warm , loving man with a good heart

[calizaggy]

If the facts are that you're on crack... yes it does help explain things.

 

---------------------------------

 

It's a trust issue, trusting herself, trusting him, trusting fate.

 

It's unfortunate that she is working through it with defense mechanisms instead of just admitting she is scared. We all get a little scared when we meet someone we like a lot- we just don't all act crazy on the outside.

 

QUOTE]

 

 

So, how does a guy proceed? It seems she was emotional because she thought she lost him. But when she was with him, she treated him like dirt.. She really does like him, but exhibits the exact opposite.

 

Often times we read "If a girl blows you off, acts flaky, she isn't you.. move on" But ironically often times those are the same signs that she is VERY into you. I have found this woman's behavior to be fairly common.

 

I think guys have a problem deciphering what her behavior means.. Should they play games back? Express interest and scare her more? Be aloof like you do not care? And yes, giving up is an option, but then you meet another woman and the same things happen again..

[Pink Cupcakes]

Yeah, she jumped in the sack with him too soon. However, she's not telling you the real truth. He got cold after they hit the hay, and she was into him and he....not so into her. She told her story to save her dignity and make it look like he was really into her.

[D-Lish]

So, how does a guy proceed? It seems she was emotional because she thought she lost him. But when she was with him, she treated him like dirt.. She really does like him, but exhibits the exact opposite.

 

Often times we read "If a girl blows you off, acts flaky, she isn't you.. move on" But ironically often times those are the same signs that she is VERY into you. I have found this woman's behavior to be fairly common.

 

I think guys have a problem deciphering what her behavior means.. Should they play games back? Express interest and scare her more? Be aloof like you do not care? And yes, giving up is an option, but then you meet another woman and the same things happen again.

 

 

No, he shouldn't play games back- someone needs to confront her and give her a good shake.