dwindrup Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 I really need help on this one... There is this guy at my gym that I have wanted badly for over a year now but never made a move because a good friend of mine told me his married...found out later it was not true...no ring ect. We would flirt, stare and smile but never talked to each other. A few weeks ago this chick from my gym started talking to him and ever since then I see them talking and found out they have started dating but not serious. Every day I think about it and cant get him out of my mind. Now I can't even look at him and when he looks at me I just look away. I don't know why this is effecting me so much and messing with my emotions. I am an attractive lady and can get alot of guys but then when the one guy I want I can't have because im to shy to go up to the ones i really want...its sooo frustrating to me. I need some advice. Should I get over it and move on? Continue to flirt and hope they break up? Be positive and meditate letting the universe create the situation how it should be? Ugh! or try and sabotosh it...its evil lol but i really want this guy, bad! Link to post Share on other sites
torranceshipman Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 If they're not serious and are just having a bit of fun then go for it! Just walk over and start up a conversation and go from there... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dwindrup Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 ya that is my problem...im terrified to, don't know what to say and...may start some drama. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 You have to talk to him, either you get him, or you dont and then you can stop thinking about him. Dont worry about what to talk about, just say hi...if youre afraid of rejection, then you can live the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you just said "Hi". Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 ya that is my problem...im terrified to, don't know what to say and...may start some drama. On the plus side some drama would liven up the thread. Stop being such a chick....oh wait... Hes a boy. Youre a girl. Im pretty sure its still acceptable for heterosexuals to approach one another in public. But I havent been keeping up on the law, so Im not really sure thats true. You may wish to consult a lawyer first Link to post Share on other sites
Author dwindrup Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 On the plus side some drama would liven up the thread. lol well I will definately keep ya updated then. Advise really does help alot.... i need to just suck it up don't I? I do need all the motivation and confidence I can get... I should pretend like this chick never even came in to the picture and keep flirting and build up the courage to just talk to him....if anything gives me experience. Link to post Share on other sites
jerseyboy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Whats the worst that will happen? Youll make his day? Anyway its a gym. Usually the less aggrressive women will just invite you out to coffee to discuss "fitness" advice. If he says no I cant, my gf wont appreciate it etc... " Oh what a considerate bf, I completely understand, shes a lucky girl" Done Works with me:) Now you owe me. Dont forget it And I dont mean in some vague/everyone says that sort of thing, but dont really mean it kind of way. But in a I not only hope to collect, but yes it will be personally embarassing and something youll likely have to hide even from your closest friends type of way, followed by expensive mental therapy Just so you know:o Link to post Share on other sites
Yukikazi Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Just go say something. "Continue to flirt and hope they break up" What flirting? you're not doing anything except mentally undressing him. And this would accomplish what? You already admitted you don't have the spine to talk to him.. how will him being single change that? He was single before and you didn't open your mouth.. are you saying that now the jealousy will calcify your backbone a bit and you'll go talk to him if they were to break up? As for letting the universe unfold as it may.. get used to disappointment.. the universe is a cruel and unfair place.. either run with the pack or get trampled. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 lol well I will definately keep ya updated then. Advise really does help alot.... i need to just suck it up don't I? I do need all the motivation and confidence I can get... I should pretend like this chick never even came in to the picture and keep flirting and build up the courage to just talk to him....if anything gives me experience. Thats right, you go up to him just to see what hes like, dont think past that. In his mind, youre just curious...so dont put pressure on yourself worrying about an end result. Take a deep breath, dont think, and just walk up to him and say hi. Just like jumping into a pool you KNOW is cold, you cant ease your way in, you cant think about it. Know what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dwindrup Posted November 20, 2009 Author Share Posted November 20, 2009 Thats right, you go up to him just to see what hes like, dont think past that. In his mind, youre just curious...so dont put pressure on yourself worrying about an end result. Take a deep breath, dont think, and just walk up to him and say hi. Just like jumping into a pool you KNOW is cold, you cant ease your way in, you cant think about it. Know what I mean? wow thanks. awesome advise! I needed to hear that...just gotta make sure that chick isn't around...ugh! shes always there when he is now. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 wow thanks. awesome advise! I needed to hear that...just gotta make sure that chick isn't around...ugh! shes always there when he is now. Heres what you do if she shows up.... You have NO idea what their relationship is...youre the innocent one. If he doesnt say "oh here comes my gf" as she walks up...or introduces you, you can keep flirting. If you are talking to him and she shows up, introduce yourself and bring her in the conversation. Theres no way out of that. But she cant hate you for being polite. After a while you excuse yourself - leave him wanting more. "Nice to meet you bitch, see ya round Jim!" If you havent established that you will contact each other by the time she shows up, then you will either have to wait for him to initiate it in front of her, OR you will have to wait for another opportunity when he's alone, and start the whole process all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dwindrup Posted November 20, 2009 Author Share Posted November 20, 2009 Your awesome boogieboy! Thank you! Its amazing how someones advice can change my whole outlook....good Karma comes your way! Link to post Share on other sites
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