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Do my text messages sound needy?


MarieMarie

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Ok, here's the quick story. I've been dating a guy for 4 months (me: late twenties, him mid-thirties). He's very busy (works about 60+ hours a week, has his son every other weekend), but we generally see each other once during the week and then every Saturday when his son isn't with him. I REALLY wish we could spend more time together, but haven't quite had the courage to voice it. Here's the text convo where I'm worried I sound needy and pathetic:

 

Him: Hey missy, wanna get together Sunday night?

Me: Hmmm...you already have a hot date lined up for Saturday?

Him: Haven't seen <male friend's name> in a month. We can get together Saturday night if you don't mind a bit later :)

Me: Na, just giving you a hard time. Sunday works ok. See you then.

 

and then like 10 min later...

 

Me: I would love to spend the night tonight if you're up for it? Sometimes i wish we could see each other a little more often, but i know you're busy.

 

Haven't heard back yet, but it's only been about 10 min.

 

Thoughts? Do i seem totally needy? I also admitted last Wednesday to feeling completely intimidated by his ex - who is this hot model type. I guess I've just turned into a basket of insecurities this week. Would appreciate any advice.

 

Thanks!

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JustLooking123

Maybe you should voice your concerns about the relationship in person. Those types of things shouldn't be "discussed" via text message. Are you two exclusive?

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boundaryproblem

He asked about Sunday. Just talk about Sunday.

 

 

If you want Mon-Fri and Sat and Sun. Ask in person. Plus it sort of felt like you were pumping him for info. I'm surprised he gave it.

 

Matters of the heart are difficult - just do your best. Asking to see him in 10mins - bad.

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  • Author

ugh, i am just a pathetic, needy basket case. i really don't feel capable of having a relationship - i just ruin them.

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Sorry, yeah you do seem a bit needy. But relax, all is not lost. If you keep worrying about it, you're going to want to send another text to try to fix this last one. And that will just make things worse. Then you'll worry about that one and want to send another to fix it... Avalanche.

 

As long as you don't start texting like crazy, he may find it flattering that you're so eager to see him. Just stay calm and stay positive.

 

Stop thinking like this about yourself or he will too:

 

ugh, i am just a pathetic, needy basket case. i really don't feel capable of having a relationship - i just ruin them.

 

Focus on the fact that he wants to see you on Sun. That's good. Just be patient.

Edited by crazy_grl
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I think you are being way too hard on yourself. I don't think it seems needy, you just want to spend more time with him and voiced it in a way that I think if just fine. Maybe he can't tonight and doesn't know how to tell you - so that's why there is a bit of delay.

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  • Author

Ok, I heard back from him and i'm going to stay over tonight but I'm worried i'll just make things worse by apologizing for my insecurity. I swear the rest of the 4 months I've behaved normally, but this week has been so rough - I had a family funeral and my property taxes are due and i have pms...I guess I'll just try to shut up and focus on spending time with him.

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All is well. Relax and don't forget to tell him how happy you are to see him. You'll shoot yourself in the foot if you keep worrying. Have a good time!

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This is funny ... I'm starting to see someone and he has his son this weekend.

I saw him yesterday and he has texted me today - just light banter back and forth. He wanted me to stay over at his place last night and I said I couldn't

Then he called me later last night and asked to come see me on Sunday night.

No word since about noon or so today ... I'm alone so I'm just going to do my thing and get out of the house tomorrow. He's probably tending to his son - which is a good thing. If he doesn't call me later on then so be it .. not going to hunt him down.

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SoulSearch_CO

LOL...this thread is a great example of a few things - miscommunication by text, and BE PATIENT. haha Don't overthink things, ladies (I do it, too). This thread is a great reminder. :bunny:

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I agree with Soul Search....I am highly guilty of this myself; escpecially with my current "guy" situation.

Be patient and for gods sake...dont overthink things, it will make you go insane. Try focusing on some other activities with friends and do things for yourself which will make you appear less needy and make you happier, feel better!

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I thought your texting just sounded teasing; my BF and I joke a lot via text. it cheers us up if we are having stressful days.

 

I also thought the follow-up text was straight-forward and honest. You got the hoped for response, so it all was fine.

 

It can be hard to bring up sensitive topics with a new guy - I think you did fine.

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