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I don't think I'm too ... excited anymore about him


mortensorchid

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mortensorchid

So today I decided to take it by the reigns and give that guy from last weekend's Halloween party a ring. He had given me his cell, and I had given him mine last Sunday. I hadn't heard from him, it was now day three. So I decided to give him a ring, not a text because that's kind of a wimp way. I left a voice mail message "Hi it's me from the party last weekend, thought I would give you a ring and see how you were. Hope to talk to you soon."

 

Within an hour, he called back. He said he was standing on the curb waiting for a bus home. We had a fairly short chat, as I was expecting visitors over to my place. He ... Well, sounds like he has a lot of things stacked against him. I asked what he did, he said he works management at a grocery store near me. He didn't exactly say it (nor did I ask for that matter), but I had a feeling that he didn't have a car. He said that he was waiting for a bus today, but he usually gets rides from everyone to and from. He said he's going to a community college to eventually get his nursing degree, which I said was a good thing. And he has two children from a previous relationship, who are five and four. These situations have nothing to do with me, of course, but this seems like a lot to consider about a person.

 

We ended the conversation when I said that I was expecting some people over for dinner and I had to get things ready. He said "Give me a call when you feel like it, ok?" and I said "YOU give ME a call when you feel like it".

 

I'm not sure if he's interested, but I'm not sweating it much. Does he sound like a loser?

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littlewhiterose

I wouldn't say 'loser'. He definitely does sound like he has a lot going on but at the same time, he seems to have a plan. But if you're starting to not feel it, then you're just not feeling it. If you're on the fence, maybe give it another conversation?

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Well I have a bias against people who have children since I have no need or urge to ever have any of my own. With that said, he does have a job which is a plus. But he has two kids and no car, hmmm? Now if he had no kids and no car, that'd be different, but I'd think as a parent a car would be near essential in today's world unless he lives somewhere like NYC. Also he relies on people to take him to and from work, what is he a teenager?!?!? Even when I didn't have a car my first year in college, I caught the bus everyday to work (2 hours there and 2 hours back) without asking for people to take me. To me that shows responsibility, I'm sorry but I don't like to rely on others for things I can do on my own within reason. But in the end it's your decision.

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Just because he has children, a not-so-glamorous job, and no car does not make him a loser. You may decide that he's not someone you're interested in dating, and that's entirely your right, but I think it would be a little unfair to classify him as a loser based on those three criteria.

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Loser is a bit of a strong word. He just sounds like a guy who has different things occurring to him that you don't find ideal in a potential partner. It's understandable. The thing is, these things happen all the time. The initial attraction fades when you find out something about someone that you either find irksome or can't get over.

 

If you're no longer attracted to him, then don't correspond or talk with him anymore. But if he calls you and shows interest, it would be a good thing to just be straight forward with him and tell him you're not interested.

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littlewhiterose

Ooh! IF you're still kinda interested of course- What if the next time you speak with him, tell him that you are concerned that it seems he has a lot going on with him and see what he says?

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mortensorchid

Well, I realize that he doesn't have a very glamorous job and all. His kids? Well, they were there before I got there and it has nothing to do with me (at this moment). I wouldn't be opposed to seeing someone in this position, although I've never been in one as such.

 

Interest? I guess my question was if he seemed interested or not. Wasn't sure how to interpret his sign off.

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