Is being too clean, well groomed and what not a turn off?

[mogul]

I am the type of guy that is very meticulous about the clothes and shoes I wear, to hygiene, well groomed and what not. My question is if this is a turn off to many girls. Would you be bothered if your man was always well groomed, got manicures and pedicures, and eyebrow threading? Or if he spent a good amount on his wardrobe (all brands), briefcases, and luggage (louis vuitton)? Some have accused of being metro without getting to know me and assume I am one of the straight looking gays?

 

Although I am well kept, I am by no means a softy. I play sports, go to the gym and have a nice build, and can either have a nice romantic date or go grab a beer with the guys. I ask this because, for flings or women I meet at clubs/bars they seem to appreciate it and say its refreshing to have a clean and well kept guy for a change. When I am pursuing someone for the interest of dating or something more serious, they bring it up as a problem.

 

A big part of this has to do with my profession as I have to always present myself in the best light possible to clients and not a spect of dust in my car. Is this considered going over the top or weird for a guy to be like this?

 

Thanks for all the responses...

[boogieboy]

Only if you and your lady are getting ready to go out, and it takes you longer to get ready than she does. And if you are constantly grooming yourself in her presence. ANything you do that brings attention to your grooming while you are supposed to be with her. Youre supposed to be clean for a woman, and then thats it. You dont touch yourself after that.

 

What exactly do the women youre dating say when they bring it up? It had to be areaction to something you did.

[New Again]

I am the type of guy that is very meticulous about the clothes and shoes I wear, to hygiene, well groomed and what not. My question is if this is a turn off to many girls. Would you be bothered if your man was always well groomed, got manicures and pedicures, and eyebrow threading? Or if he spent a good amount on his wardrobe (all brands), briefcases, and luggage (louis vuitton)? Some have accused of being metro without getting to know me and assume I am one of the straight looking gays?

 

I have zero attraction to metro men. EW. I realize this is harsh, and that it's my personal preference (or lack thereof), but I don't have much respect for men who get manis/pedis, blow dry their hair, go tanning... I by no means assume that metro men are gay, however....I just find those habits to be extremely unattractive in men.

 

Good hygiene and being well dressed and neat is a different story. That's always a good thing. Obviously.

[2sure]

Regarding a groomed man. We all know there are things a man must have done professionally in a salon. But we dont want it to be so obvious that it brings even the thought of him in a salon into our heads. Manis and Pedis on a man should never ever be so shiny they look like they have clear nail polish on them like a woman's. The eyebrow threading? Do it if you must, but never say the words again even to yourself.

 

If a man is so very meticulous about himself, a woman might find it uncomfortable to wake up with him in the morning wondering if her breath is minty fresh and her legs baby smooth (not that this ever happens!). There would be no sense of comfortable intimacy.

[boogieboy]

If a man is so very meticulous about himself, a woman might find it uncomfortable to wake up with him in the morning wondering if her breath is minty fresh and her legs baby smooth (not that this ever happens!). There would be no sense of comfortable intimacy.

 

There ya go mogul. That might be what these women were thinking when they told you that your grooming would be a problem for them. It already made them self concious thinking that you will see their imperfections, no matter how you assure them that you arent going over them with a fine eye.

 

So if you have to keep doing it, then you have to find a woman who is just as meticulous as you.

[Agoraphobianebula]

Like someone mentioned before, a man who spends more time in front of a mirror than I do will be problematic and will most likely be a deal breaker for me.

 

Primping is kind of a girly thing. Paying that much attention to your hair and wardrobe screams high maintenance in a woman even, talk less of a man. There is nothing wrong with men looking good and well kept but you are supposed to look good without looking like you spent 20 hours getting ready.

 

I'm sorry, the fact that you even know who Louis Vuitton is as a guy will raise eyebrows. There is a way to be welll groomed and manly without piling on the designer clothes, threading your eyebrows:eek:, and waxing your car.

 

IMHO

Relax,

[betamanlet]

I am the type of guy that is very meticulous about the clothes and shoes I wear, to hygiene, well groomed and what not. My question is if this is a turn off to many girls. Would you be bothered if your man was always well groomed, got manicures and pedicures, and eyebrow threading? Or if he spent a good amount on his wardrobe (all brands), briefcases, and luggage (louis vuitton)? Some have accused of being metro without getting to know me and assume I am one of the straight looking gays?

 

Although I am well kept, I am by no means a softy. I play sports, go to the gym and have a nice build, and can either have a nice romantic date or go grab a beer with the guys. I ask this because, for flings or women I meet at clubs/bars they seem to appreciate it and say its refreshing to have a clean and well kept guy for a change. When I am pursuing someone for the interest of dating or something more serious, they bring it up as a problem.

 

A big part of this has to do with my profession as I have to always present myself in the best light possible to clients and not a spect of dust in my car. Is this considered going over the top or weird for a guy to be like this?

 

Thanks for all the responses...

 

 

It depends if you are becoming unmasculin. I bite my finger nails , shave only once in a while, but I like to smell good, so my last girlfriend would complain that I smelled girly because I wore deodorant and used soap. Apparently she likes men to stink as it's more masculine to her..

[espec10001]

I used to be friends with a guy who was metro. Everyone thought he was gay even though he kept telling them he wasn't. It doesn't surprise me because a guy who is THAT concerned with fashion and feminine things does strike the gay chord often with men and women alike. Pedicures and manicures and eyebrow waxing on guys is kind of weird, thats what women do. Men aren't really supposed to look "pretty" unless they are gay.

[Trialbyfire]

While I understand the brow threading if you're a unibrow man, a bit of shagginess for men, can be quite attractive.

 

I'm also meticulous, when it comes to cleanliness, whether it's personal hygiene, home or car.

 

But I will admit a double standard. If a man spends more time in front of the mirror than I do, considering that women wear makeup and men don't, then it would be a bit too much for me.

 

My man is pretty meticulous too. But he's far from effeminate. There are days he can be downright grubby, from working out/sports or fixing something, whether it's around the home or his car. He always hops in the shower, once he's finished whatever he had to do.

 

So no, meticulous guys aren't unattractive to me, unless they're effeminate.

[betamanlet]

I used to be friends with a guy who was metro. Everyone thought he was gay even though he kept telling them he wasn't. It doesn't surprise me because a guy who is THAT concerned with fashion and feminine things does strike the gay chord often with men and women alike. Pedicures and manicures and eyebrow waxing on guys is kind of weird, thats what women do. Men aren't really supposed to look "pretty" unless they are gay.

While I know of some metrosexuals that actually get women, easily, one of the general rules with women is that anything that reminds them of themselves (insecuritity, low self esteem anything feminine) is repulsive to them.... But I know of some women who date metros who I think are gay, and they basically date them because they want men who are emotionally unavailable due to their low self esteem. so it's date gay guys or married guys.

[espec10001]

Yeah I'm not saying metro's don't get women, but to me it's just odd. I don't understand that mentality of being clean all the time. It just seems feminine to me.

[betamanlet]

Yeah I'm not saying metro's don't get women, but to me it's just odd. I don't understand that mentality of being clean all the time. It just seems feminine to me.

 

 

what's the definition of clean? If it's to have pedicures and manicures, ummm, that's nuts. But if it's to not small like testicles, then I don't see the problem with showering twice a day. I would take 2 showers a day, because I like the sound of running water, and I like feeling clean, and the sound of water eases my tinnitus, so it provides a medical benefit. Yet, that was unmanly of me, and I got dumped for it....

[GorillaTheater]

Would you be bothered if your man was always well groomed, got manicures and pedicures, and eyebrow threading?

 

what's the definition of clean? If it's to have pedicures and manicures, ummm, that's nuts. But if it's to not small like testicles, then I don't see the problem with showering twice a day.

 

Hahahahahahaha!

[GroupFitness]

While I know of some metrosexuals that actually get women, easily, one of the general rules with women is that anything that reminds them of themselves (insecuritity, low self esteem anything feminine) is repulsive to them.... But I know of some women who date metros who I think are gay, and they basically date them because they want men who are emotionally unavailable due to their low self esteem. so it's date gay guys or married guys.

 

 

Well, I don't think women have dibs on insecurity and low self esteem, those are *people* issues not gender based. I do think though that women don't want to date a slight less pretty version of themselves. A manicure and pedicure is not bad on a guy...if he gets it once every six months that is. Eyebrow threading and what not is another matter entirely, too meticulous. Designer clothing overload will earn you the title of "brand whore" and that is not a title even a woman wants to bear.

 

General grooming is attractive in a guy but if it gets to the point that he's discussing project runway with you, then maybe you got a problem

 

I once dated a guy who was far from effeminate but he was very particular about this clothes, shoes, accesories, etc. What I later learned is that it's because he was really insecure. He was the nerd/ugly guy in high school so he was making up for that as an adult by overcompensating. His closet was bigger than mine and he had more shoes than I do...and I like shoes. He wanted to appear as the "cool" Justin Timberlake clone, complete with hats and wrist bands...ugh!. but all it made him look was ridiculous, uncomfortable and his insecurity really shone though. Needless to say, our relationship didn't last very long. eew!

[phineas]

I don't even know what eybrow threading is.

[Lucky_One]

Louis Vuitton is over-priced, and I wouldn't pay that sort of money for anything that I trust to baggage handlers. These days, they are as likely to force you to gate check your carry-on as they are to offer no snacks.

 

Carry Tumi, if you want high quality, semi-status, and something dark that won't show stains.

 

Guys that spend more time getting ready than me would be a no-go. I have helped my XH wax his unibrow and shave the back of his neck so that he had a clean neckline, so I don't have an issue with that. And i have noticed a lot of older men getting pedis where I go - as much for circulation and help in cutting toenails than anything else, I think. Manis and pedis are ok, as long as you don't have shiny nails, as 2sure mentioned; men sometimes have GROSS man-feet, so a pedi can be a help.

 

I do hate most men's shoes, though; talk about some effeminate styles... Pointy toes on a man is just wrong, unless you're an elf.

 

That said, I appreciate men who dress well - quality fabrics, well ironed cottons, great ties.

[ADF]

I suspect the "problem" women are having is one of two things:

 

1) They think you're shallow.

 

2) They think you're gay.

 

Both may be totally wrong, but that is what a lot of women think when they meet guys like you.

[betamanlet]

I suspect the "problem" women are having is one of two things:

 

1) They think you're shallow.

 

2) They think you're gay.

 

Both may be totally wrong, but that is what a lot of women think when they meet guys like you.

 

I dunno man, if a woman thinks you are gay, she'll think it's a challenge. My best friend in law school told his gf I was gay, so IMMEDIATELY she was all over me. Mucho alcohol was involved, she asked him if she could kiss me, he said yes, and then we wind up making out for 45 minutes and she tried to give me a BJ in the bathroom. I told her from the first second I wasn't gay, and she was like "you're so sexy", she would have but I finally sobered up enough to realize how wrong this was, and passed out.. I apologized to my friend and he said he would have killed me if i were anyone else.. And I live the most boring, celibate life, humanly possible, so if this happens to me, God knows what happens to normal people.

[Johnny M]

If a man is so very meticulous about himself, a woman might find it uncomfortable to wake up with him in the morning wondering if her breath is minty fresh and her legs baby smooth (not that this ever happens!). There would be no sense of comfortable intimacy.

If a man's grooming habits make the woman feel uncomfortable about her own body, I'd say the problem is not with the man's grooming habits

[BG1985]

Simply being gay won't make the woman view you as a challenge. It's only if she's attracted to you and you're gay, will it ever be a challenge.

[betamanlet]

Simply being gay won't make the woman view you as a challenge. It's only if she's attracted to you and you're gay, will it ever be a challenge.

 

She must have been attracted to me, though, I'm not positive if it was her, I was there when he met her, and other chicks, and it was with him that I was told "you're too short, but I like your friend".. Never struck out so many times in my life because my friend was 6'3 and I am 5'10. God bless his soul.

[mogul]

I suspect the "problem" women are having is one of two things:

 

1) They think you're shallow.

 

2) They think you're gay.

 

Both may be totally wrong, but that is what a lot of women think when they meet guys like you.

 

I do not come across as gay what so ever. At most, I have been referred to as being metro. I believe I am masculine, as does anyone that knows me. Also, as mentioned earlier I do not suffer from low self esteem. If anything, I have been accused of being too in to myself or cocky.

 

When I say I have an expansive wardrobe, well groomed and do all these things, the majority here seems to get me confused with a douche. I do not tan, my hair is not full of gel, nor do i wear sunglasses every where I go. I mean it in the sense that my attire is business professional and on off days I go for the urban/preppy look. I am just always clean, clothes always dry cleaned and neat, and myself well groomed.

 

I do not have problems meeting women. I have been complimented on it numerous times when out clubbing or by waitresses at restaurants. The problem is that when I seriously date someone for more than a week or two, the problem of me being so groomed and "metro" arises. I am confused because that is what initially they were attracted to and were happy with. I don't know if it is for this reason alone that prohibits me from finding a woman that is completely happy with the way I am in the long run.

[Johnny M]

I do not have problems meeting women. I have been complimented on it numerous times when out clubbing or by waitresses at restaurants. The problem is that when I seriously date someone for more than a week or two, the problem of me being so groomed and "metro" arises. I am confused because that is what initially they were attracted to and were happy with. I don't know if it is for this reason alone that prohibits me from finding a woman that is completely happy with the way I am in the long run.

I think it's their own insecurities coming through....they feel "unpretty" if the man looks more primped than they do.

[2sure]

OK - Ive got a question for you.

 

If a date has a single piece of lint on her jacket, you remove it for her right? Its almost affectionate and complimentary that you are looking at her closely and wish to stop that single piece of lint from marring an otherwise perfect picture.

 

But if she has Two pieces of lint...leave it, ignore it, stop seeing it. To remove the second piece makes her feel under close scrutiny , criticized, not measuring up.

 

I learned this lesson from my mother regarding men, but you see the point.

 

Which might you do? I spend a great deal of time in NYC where metro is one of the norms. Any style a man adapts for himself can be attractive as long as it suits him, he pulls it off, he is comfortable in it. But it would exhaust any woman after a couple of weeks to always be concerned that her polish never ever be chipped , or a hair out of place lest you notice.

 

We love when you notice it was worth the wait when we have taken care getting ready to go out. But we love more when you tell us you like us best when weve done nothing at all.

[Johnny M]

We love when you notice it was worth the wait when we have taken care getting ready to go out. But we love more when you tell us you like us best when weve done nothing at all.

So, in other words, you want us to lie to you...