LifesHype Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Alright, so I'm definitely into this girl (Girl A) that is a close friend of one of my friends (Girl B). Girl A moved out of her parents' place and now lives in the same household as Girl B and Girl B's mom. I met Girl A (the one I'm interested in) back in June at a club, and instantly there was a connection between us. Girl B text messaged me (apparently she used do and/or still does like me) asking if I was trying to get with Girl A, and I denied it because I felt like that was between me and her. Bottom line, Girl A has school to deal with and works on the weekends, so it's tough to see her - and whenever I do see her, because of her living situation, Girl B is always around and messes stuff up (probably due to jealousy). Since I met Girl A in June, we've only seen each other about 6 or 7 times, but each time that connection seems to spark again. We text very frequently (almost everyday). It was her birthday this past Saturday and she invited me to her party where I gave her a heart-shaped necklace when we were on her own. The connection was definitely there. However, she was drinking the night of her party and it seemed like the dudes were showing her a bunch of attention. Being the attention craver she is, it seemed like she would flirt back with the guys despite the fact that we have had this pretty strong relationship for the past 3 months. However, at the end of the party when I was trying to leave, she ran up behind me and wrapped her arms around me telling me not to. That turned into a 10-15 minute conversation between just the two of us (her telling me to text her when I got home to make sure I got home safe) before I eventually left. I texted her the next morning in regards to figuring out where we were and what was going to happen. I told her that I didn't want to be played and if she was going to go after another guy than I was going to stop trying because I don't want to be hurt. She already knows how much I like her. She responded telling me that she wasn't trying to play me and that she liked me as well. HOWEVER, at the end of that same text message, she stated "But I think you like me more than I like you." I told her I didn't want to be involved if I was shooting for something that wasn't going to happen and she went on to tell me that she just started a new school and had to focus. She then talked about how we rarely see each other and how she didn't want to have something that was over the phone AND didn't want to make it seem like she was blowing me off. I mentioned trying it out & how the time was there on my part for a relationship, and she came back and said she didn't know if she had time and didn't want to promise something she couldn't keep. I texted her later on (this went down last night) and thanked her for clearing everything up. She said "No problem I didn't want to hurt you or anything and thank you for the necklace. Its gorgeous. I wore it today :)" So I don't know where this is going. If she wasn't interested I'm not sure she'd be wearing the necklace since I'm sure she thinks about me when she takes it out of the heart-shaped case that it's in. She seems like the one for me (for now, at least), but I'm just not really sure what to do anymore. Part of me wants to completely disconnect from her and let her miss the attention that I give her and the connection that we have, but the other part of me wants to be there for her while trying not to seem to desperate or clingy. At first it was her texting me all the time to initiate conversations and now it seems to be the other way around (I think it was because I didn't seem as available to her as I do now). I think the fact that I shower her with compliments is actually working against me. Sorry for the long post. But can someone help? EDIT: I'm 17 and she just turned 16. And she calls me names like babe and baby, etc. and claims that there is no one else trying to pursue her. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifesHype Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 50 views and no responses? Help? Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 She responded telling me that she wasn't trying to play me and that she liked me as well. HOWEVER, at the end of that same text message, she stated "But I think you like me more than I like you." I told her I didn't want to be involved if I was shooting for something that wasn't going to happen and she went on to tell me that she just started a new school and had to focus. She then talked about how we rarely see each other and how she didn't want to have something that was over the phone AND didn't want to make it seem like she was blowing me off. Take it from a guy that has experience in "girl talk". These two comments, mean, "I like you because you're cool and make me laugh, I would love to have you be my BFF but no physical stuff and I want someone I deem more appropriate for me. But I don't want to be labeled a bitch by your friends so I'm going to try to keep your image of me positive by not telling you NO". There are other girls out there, and I'm sure A is a good girl, she's just not the one for you. I'm sure if you persevere you'll get something (make out? maybe even sex?) but in the end she will break your heart. find someone who wants to be with you like you want to be with her. Don't settle. My two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
silic0ntoad Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Agreed. You've been friend zoned. There is no escape, man. Disconnect, disconnect fast! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifesHype Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 So even if I completely disconnect and make myself too busy for her (or so she thinks), she wouldn't miss what we had and try to get my attention again? And to be honest, I wouldn't deem our relationship in the friend zone just yet - maybe through texts, but not when its actually me & her together. Maybe I'm wrong. Her friend (Girl B) asked if I was leading her on, and I told her I wasn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifesHype Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 And to add to that last post, I agree with her on not wanting to have a relationship that is just over the phone, but it's tough to see her due to her housing situation and how her friend always tags along. What should I do? I have plenty of time to see her, it's just tough to convince her friend's mom to take them out places - and it'd be even harder to just get her to come by herself. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Yeah, she might mean your friendship, but that's as far as it's going to go. she's not going to miss your friendship and suddenly realize she actually loves you. that only happens in movies and real life is no movie. Move on. Don't rationalize it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifesHype Posted September 24, 2009 Author Share Posted September 24, 2009 If it were truly just friendship I don't feel like she'd be wearing a heart-shaped necklace from a guy she didn't *at the very least* have some sort of feelings for. And like I said, the spark is definitely there - even her co-workers can see it. It's just that I don't get to see her enough to actually turn it into a consistent "relationship," and all we do is text until we actually get to see each other. And maybe I'm wrong, but when she said that she felt like I liked her more than she liked me, I interpreted it as if she likes me (hence her saying "I am not trying to play you! I like you!) but I'm either 1) making myself seem too readily available, 2) responding to her every text and/or acting too nice, or 3) showering her with too many compliments, all of which can be changed. I mentioned to her a few weeks ago that I went to a club with some friends of mine and these girls were trying to make their move on us. She got jealous and kept asking questions about if I gave out my number or if I'm still trying to talk to them, etc. And every time we see each other she asks if she can "see" my phone, and I can see that she goes through my text messages, probably to see if I'm talking to someone else. That doesn't look like just friendship to me, but what do I know. Link to post Share on other sites
rod_in_gtown Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 At this point I've said everything I need to say on the subject, you're now just trying to rationalize the "what if" and it's not healthy. I'm telling you, you're idealizing this into a fairy tale and there are not fairy tales in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
hurricanes1210 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 have you two kissed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifesHype Posted September 25, 2009 Author Share Posted September 25, 2009 Yes, on more than one occasion. Link to post Share on other sites
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