Work, Hookups, & Confusion

[BlueHarvest]

So I've been hanging out with this girl for a little over a month now. Me and her both work at the same place. Problem is she's paranoid about any kind of perceptions people might have of her at work, so she explicity told me one night she didn't want to really pursue any sort of relationship (FwB or full blown) with me.

 

I said to her to think about it, that it was fine and so on and so forth.

 

Chatted, had lunch, etc etc at work. This last Friday I was texting back and forth with her...and she said she was just chilling at home with a beer watching TV. Asked her if she wanted company and she responded with "sure".

 

So I head on over. We chat, watch some TV, chat some more, order some pizza, have a few brews. Around Midnight to 1 AM we are getting a little more cozy ...and well long story short. I find out she ain't wearing any panties, end up messing around with her...and then she runs off, comes back with a dildo and says "I want you to do me with this..."

 

Ok, a little wierd but whatever...

 

I end up doing her with it a little but end up going down on her and making her climax with tongue and finger lol

 

Then afterwards she doesn't do ****. We aren't dating, she's made that obviously clear. I hint towards her going down on me and she starts talking about how she isn't comfortable with doing anything sexual to me because she hasn't been with a guy for a year (since her last boyfriend).

 

I kind of point out the fact that she just allowed me to go down on her, and that the whole barrier of not doing anything sexual was kind of already past...

 

Turns out she ends up bluntly (and I guess at least rather honestly saying "I guess it was just a selfish urge.") We end up discussing why things aren't mutual...(which you can imagine is a buzzkill in itself) and she starts talking about how she doensn't know why but she doesn't think we should do anything sexual again, but we should be friends, and that it probably stems from us working together which is why she is hesitant.

 

But this is the same bull**** she said last time I tried to make a move. Last time I was over at her place we ended up making out and me rubbing her through her clothing but her stopping it. This time it was me going down on her....despite the fact that she has said both times that she doesn't want our 'relationship' to go anywhere but friends it's done exactly that.

 

Now I'm fine with FWB but I'll be damned if I'm going to go down on her and then sit there at half-mast. I told her to think about the situation carefully and make sure she wasn't making a rash decision, then I left for the night.

 

Thoughts? I like the girl, to be honest I wouldn't mind dating her, we have alot in common which is what allowed us to hook up so fast in the first place, but I don't want to be used and I sure as hell don't want to be just friends because once it's solidified as just friends...it's hard to be anything else.

[Rylle]

Wow that sucks. Sounds like you already were used, and I don't see any chance of you two dating. Sounds like she's using you for sex, attention and validation and not giving anything in return. She might be hooking up with you occasionally, but she's also being very clear that she doesn't want to date you.

 

Frankly she sounds selfish and messed up.

[Lucky_One]

Obviously you didn't have a choice in leaving at half mast. She likes you ok, I guess, and you did what she needed at the time. But she doesn't want to date you, she was just horny, and she isn't turned on by the thought of being mutually intimate with you.

 

I'm sorry for you, but it's almost funny reading this. It is SUCH a role reversal! Usually it's a girl saying how this guy just wanted her to come around for a BJ but she thought that he really liked her and that if she gave him a BJ then he would want to be her BF - and she just blows and goes.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'm sorry for you, but it's almost funny reading this. It is SUCH a role reversal! Usually it's a girl saying how this guy just wanted her to come around for a BJ but she thought that he really liked her and that if she gave him a BJ then he would want to be her BF - and she just blows and goes.

 

Ain't that the truth?

 

She said no FWB, no relationship. I suppose it isn't hard to remind yourself of that the next time she decides to invite you over.

[BlueHarvest]

Gee folks, made me feel so much better /sarcasm

 

Yea...I suppose I need to keep that in mind next time. Still, her behavior patterns are odd.

[fawn]

This woman is using you, run and run fast! Hookups at work will lead to trouble down the road, real life does not work like TV shows.

[northstar1]

So I've been hanging out with this girl for a little over a month now. Me and her both work at the same place. Problem is she's paranoid about any kind of perceptions people might have of her at work, so she explicity told me one night she didn't want to really pursue any sort of relationship (FwB or full blown) with me.

 

I said to her to think about it, that it was fine and so on and so forth.

 

Chatted, had lunch, etc etc at work. This last Friday I was texting back and forth with her...and she said she was just chilling at home with a beer watching TV. Asked her if she wanted company and she responded with "sure".

 

So I head on over. We chat, watch some TV, chat some more, order some pizza, have a few brews. Around Midnight to 1 AM we are getting a little more cozy ...and well long story short. I find out she ain't wearing any panties, end up messing around with her...and then she runs off, comes back with a dildo and says "I want you to do me with this..."

 

Ok, a little wierd but whatever...

 

I end up doing her with it a little but end up going down on her and making her climax with tongue and finger lol

 

Then afterwards she doesn't do ****. We aren't dating, she's made that obviously clear. I hint towards her going down on me and she starts talking about how she isn't comfortable with doing anything sexual to me because she hasn't been with a guy for a year (since her last boyfriend).

 

I kind of point out the fact that she just allowed me to go down on her, and that the whole barrier of not doing anything sexual was kind of already past...

 

Turns out she ends up bluntly (and I guess at least rather honestly saying "I guess it was just a selfish urge.") We end up discussing why things aren't mutual...(which you can imagine is a buzzkill in itself) and she starts talking about how she doensn't know why but she doesn't think we should do anything sexual again, but we should be friends, and that it probably stems from us working together which is why she is hesitant.

 

But this is the same bull**** she said last time I tried to make a move. Last time I was over at her place we ended up making out and me rubbing her through her clothing but her stopping it. This time it was me going down on her....despite the fact that she has said both times that she doesn't want our 'relationship' to go anywhere but friends it's done exactly that.

 

Now I'm fine with FWB but I'll be damned if I'm going to go down on her and then sit there at half-mast. I told her to think about the situation carefully and make sure she wasn't making a rash decision, then I left for the night.

 

Thoughts? I like the girl, to be honest I wouldn't mind dating her, we have alot in common which is what allowed us to hook up so fast in the first place, but I don't want to be used and I sure as hell don't want to be just friends because once it's solidified as just friends...it's hard to be anything else.

 

Well, if she setting a pattern (what she wants on her schedule etc), then you can either keep going along with it and maybe she'll start reciprocating, or you leave her to her games and keep things on a purely work/friend level.

You've already expressed your concerns and she doesn't seem receptive.

 

Personally, I'd back off and just be courteous to her, but stop indulging her when she feels like it. Let her come to to plate.

[BobSacamento]

Don't you ever watch porn? You never finish off a girl before your finished.

 

Practice this for next time: "Ok now your turn"

[Hkizzle]

She likes the attention, but you obviously have nothing interesting to offer her. Time to move on.

[BlueHarvest]

Don't you ever watch porn? You never finish off a girl before your finished.

 

Practice this for next time: "Ok now your turn"

 

lol...Life ain't a porn movie. But I preciate the advice ...I think...she's wierd though, but who isn't amiright? Saw her in passing multiple times and she proceeded to wave, smile everytime and say hi twice when passing by...Even though it isn't necessary to greet someone more then once. Seemed like she was over-compensating for her 'tude on Friday. Whatever. Gonna give her a few days to sweat it out.

[SoulSearch_CO]

OMFG...I had a hard time reading much further after you got her off and she pulls the "I'm not comfortable doing anything sexual" line. :eek: WHY are you still interested in this girl? She freaking used you, dude. Have some self-respect. If you keep seeing her, she'll know you are there to be used. Wow. Just wow. This is BS. Don't put up with it. I wouldn't see her again if I were you.

[BlueHarvest]

OMFG...I had a hard time reading much further after you got her off and she pulls the "I'm not comfortable doing anything sexual" line. :eek: WHY are you still interested in this girl? She freaking used you, dude. Have some self-respect. If you keep seeing her, she'll know you are there to be used. Wow. Just wow. This is BS. Don't put up with it. I wouldn't see her again if I were you.

 

I dunno why I'm still interested. That whole wanting what you can't have I guess? And partly cause she's pretty cool ...other then the whole using thing. Got some mutual interested and what not. Guess I always compare the good and the bad and then try to figure out if the good is worth putting up with the bad, in any relationship (friends, FWB, GF, etc).