going out for drinks

[4givrnt4gtr]

Ok i know how i feel about this but i want other people's opinions.

 

This friend I have (who i know for a fact doesnt make the best decisions to begin with) asked me to go out with her this coming friday. She wants us to go out to a bar, and "get drunk for 10 dollars"

 

This means sit in a bar and let guys buy us drinks.

 

Now...personally i think this is trashy and immature. We did it once a few years ago for giggles and i felt stupid. Granted we did get guys to buy us drinks but good lord was that dumb.

 

Anyway, on top of that I am in a relationship. Its a long distance relationship and i adore the man. Because of this i think its disrespectful to my boyfriend if i were to go with her or if i went, to accept free drinks from men. THis is my take.

Her take is that I am not married and we're not doing anything bad. That im not cheating on my bf and that its just for fun.

 

Regardless of what she says im not comfortable with that. But I want to know....am I right on my take (total disrespect to my boyfriend) or her (we're not doing anything bad)?

 

Would you guys (or girls) be upset if your SO goes out with friends and accept drinks from people?

[BCCA]

Just remember, you reap what you sew.

 

Youre basically misleading guys into thinking they have a chance with you to get free drinks. Youre pretending to be something your not, and then hoping that the fact that most guys are used to it happening is enough to let you get away with it.

 

First, it is disrespectful to your boyfriend. Youre putting yourself out there as an available woman to get free drinks, while I have the feeling you could buy your own. Its not so much that youre doing anything wrong, per say, but youre putting a vibe out there that I wouldnt want my gf doing. Your friend knows its wrong, too, thats why she added the 'youre not married' part.

 

Next, there are a lot of weirdos out there. Why do you want to give any of them a reason to get hung up on you? I know women think this is harmless, but as a guy who has paid for a few of those drinks, its not. Ive seen guys get angry and hostile over feeling duped, and all it takes is one guy who drank too much or whose life is really crappy to flip out.

 

If youre older than Id say 25, this is also extremely immature. Again, you get what you put out there; if you put out lies and use people...

 

I wouldnt go, or I would buy my own drinks. Otherwise, enjoy spending the evening fighting off weirdos and giving out fake numbers.

[Roxanna]

Really all that matters is how YOU feel about it.

 

But that aside, I believe going out and flirting with guys to get them to buy you drinks (besides being immature and disrespectful) is just asking for trouble when you're in an R.

[tanbark813]

Imagine your bf in your position (and, for the sake of argument, pretend men can get drinks bought for them as easily as women can). Then do whatever it is you would want him to do.

[4givrnt4gtr]

Oh good im not crazy and old fashioned

 

Yeah so bassically everything you guys said is what I thought as well. Actually the whole pissed off guy didnt occurred to me but thats a great point.

 

I actually told her that I wasnt comfortable going to bars and have random people buy me drinks. Its not very respectful to my boyfriend, I wouldnt want him to do that. Even to ourselves (do we really need to do that? Im not that needy for attention and Im not much of a user to begin with).

 

I asked her if we could do something else, even invite another friend and have a girls night out, with dinner and stuff that we pay ourselves.

 

Thanks for your responses. I wanted to know what most people would do in such situation

[4givrnt4gtr]

Why do you seem to be ignoring how you feel about it? You sound like you don't even like doing this; why succumb to pressure from your friend?

 

Oh no no i wasn't going to do it to begin with. But I wanted to know if thats something most people do and they are ok with.

 

Bassically i wanted to know if i was behaving normally or if Im old fashioned

[Soul Bear]

Just remember, you reap what you sew.

 

Youre basically misleading guys into thinking they have a chance with you to get free drinks. Youre pretending to be something your not, and then hoping that the fact that most guys are used to it happening is enough to let you get away with it.

 

First, it is disrespectful to your boyfriend. Youre putting yourself out there as an available woman to get free drinks, while I have the feeling you could buy your own. Its not so much that youre doing anything wrong, per say, but youre putting a vibe out there that I wouldnt want my gf doing. Your friend knows its wrong, too, thats why she added the 'youre not married' part.

 

Next, there are a lot of weirdos out there. Why do you want to give any of them a reason to get hung up on you? I know women think this is harmless, but as a guy who has paid for a few of those drinks, its not. Ive seen guys get angry and hostile over feeling duped, and all it takes is one guy who drank too much or whose life is really crappy to flip out.

 

If youre older than Id say 25, this is also extremely immature. Again, you get what you put out there; if you put out lies and use people...

 

I wouldnt go, or I would buy my own drinks. Otherwise, enjoy spending the evening fighting off weirdos and giving out fake numbers.

 

Spot on:cool:

[MikeJones]

Ok i know how i feel about this but i want other people's opinions.

 

This friend I have (who i know for a fact doesnt make the best decisions to begin with) asked me to go out with her this coming friday. She wants us to go out to a bar, and "get drunk for 10 dollars"

 

This means sit in a bar and let guys buy us drinks.

 

Now...personally i think this is trashy and immature. We did it once a few years ago for giggles and i felt stupid. Granted we did get guys to buy us drinks but good lord was that dumb.

 

Anyway, on top of that I am in a relationship. Its a long distance relationship and i adore the man. Because of this i think its disrespectful to my boyfriend if i were to go with her or if i went, to accept free drinks from men. THis is my take.

Her take is that I am not married and we're not doing anything bad. That im not cheating on my bf and that its just for fun.

 

Regardless of what she says im not comfortable with that. But I want to know....am I right on my take (total disrespect to my boyfriend) or her (we're not doing anything bad)?

 

Would you guys (or girls) be upset if your SO goes out with friends and accept drinks from people?

 

I respect that you adore your guy and that you wouldn't want to jepordize your relationship or your feelings for him. Props to that. With that said, millions of women have and do go out to get drunk and have stupid guys like me buy them drinks. That's how this cruel world is. There is nothing to feel bad about having guys buy you drinks. We understand that you spend lots of money on clothes, shoes, makeup, and take forever to get ready (and yes it drives a lot of BFs crazy), so buying a drink is the least we can do.

 

There's no problem playing wing woman to your gal pal and accepting a drink or two either. If a guy buys you a drink and you start to talk to him. Tactfully hint that you have a bf or make reference to him. We'll get the message (hopefully) and yeah we might be cursing your name under our breath, but at least you made it known they aren't going to get any from you.

 

If you feel guilty about going to a bar with your GF, make it known to your BF ahead of time that you are going for drinks with your GF. You might have to assure him (depending on his self security level) that nothing is going to happen (because it's not, right?). Call him during the night to check up on him, don't wait for him to call you. And be sure to call him the next morning to reassure him you didn't go home with someone LOL.

[SoulSearch_CO]

I sure wouldn't do it if I were attached. It wouldn't even matter to me if he was "okay" with it, or not. I have zero interest in that kind of stuff when I'm in a relationship. Without being asked, when I really am feeling something for somebody, any and all appearances of me looking for somebody else get cut off. I think it's a respectful thing to do and shouldn't HAVE to be requested.

[tanbark813]

I respect that you adore your guy and that you wouldn't want to jepordize your relationship or your feelings for him. Props to that. With that said, millions of women have and do go out to get drunk and have stupid guys like me buy them drinks. That's how this cruel world is. There is nothing to feel bad about having guys buy you drinks. We understand that you spend lots of money on clothes, shoes, makeup, and take forever to get ready (and yes it drives a lot of BFs crazy), so buying a drink is the least we can do.

 

There's no problem playing wing woman to your gal pal and accepting a drink or two either. If a guy buys you a drink and you start to talk to him. Tactfully hint that you have a bf or make reference to him. We'll get the message (hopefully) and yeah we might be cursing your name under our breath, but at least you made it known they aren't going to get any from you.

 

If you feel guilty about going to a bar with your GF, make it known to your BF ahead of time that you are going for drinks with your GF. You might have to assure him (depending on his self security level) that nothing is going to happen (because it's not, right?). Call him during the night to check up on him, don't wait for him to call you. And be sure to call him the next morning to reassure him you didn't go home with someone LOL.

 

There's no way MikeJones is a man. This was posted by a woman.