How Forward Should You be?

[AJsHere]

So I am thinking about asking this girl out. I've had a crush on her for about a year now and never did anything about it. We've worked together on volunteer projects before and know each other through mutual friends.

 

She's your typical girl next door: sweet, homely, nice, cute, hasn't had too much experience in the dating world (I think)

 

I've been conversing with her over txt and email for a while, but I've taken it up a notch over the past week. I even proposed to meet up with her to talk about a new project I'm working on. She agreed and was excited to help out.

 

I also asked her to go somewhere this weekend but she said she was busy with her mom. My last txt message to her went unanswered last night!

 

I don't know if she doesn't like me or is oblivious to the fact that I like her, but I need some suggestions here. Please help

 

Do I just tell her I like you and want to get to know you better and ask her to a dinner??? Would that scare her a bit? How forward should I be in my actions.

 

BTW, I'm 26, she's 23.

[Vet]

So I am thinking about asking this girl out. I've had a crush on her for about a year now and never did anything about it. We've worked together on volunteer projects before and know each other through mutual friends.

 

She's your typical girl next door: sweet, homely, nice, cute, hasn't had too much experience in the dating world (I think)

 

I've been conversing with her over txt and email for a while, but I've taken it up a notch over the past week. I even proposed to meet up with her to talk about a new project I'm working on. She agreed and was excited to help out.

 

I also asked her to go somewhere this weekend but she said she was busy with her mom. My last txt message to her went unanswered last night!

 

I don't know if she doesn't like me or is oblivious to the fact that I like her, but I need some suggestions here. Please help

 

Do I just tell her I like you and want to get to know you better and ask her to a dinner??? Would that scare her a bit? How forward should I be in my actions.

 

BTW, I'm 26, she's 23.

 

Don't be forward with her; she doesn't need to know you've been carrying a torch for her for a year. "I like you and want to get to know you better" would be awkward, depending on your dynamic (it sounds like she's a work acquaintance and you don't know her very well). You've already got her to agree to help you with your project, so try being flirty with her when you guys work on it. Don't be overt, but make it clear that you're interested. I don't know what kind of project you're doing, but compliment her on how she's helping you, tell her how much you enjoyed hanging out doing the project, how you'd like to hang out in a less business-oriented setting, but remember: don't make it awkward.

[AJsHere]

Don't be forward with her; she doesn't need to know you've been carrying a torch for her for a year. "I like you and want to get to know you better" would be awkward, depending on your dynamic (it sounds like she's a work acquaintance and you don't know her very well). You've already got her to agree to help you with your project, so try being flirty with her when you guys work on it. Don't be overt, but make it clear that you're interested. I don't know what kind of project you're doing, but compliment her on how she's helping you, tell her how much you enjoyed hanging out doing the project, how you'd like to hang out in a less business-oriented setting, but remember: don't make it awkward.

 

What if the project doesn't have too much face-to-face interaction. We are setting up an event October, and a lot of it delegation and people just get their jobs done. I wouldn't be seeing her all too much.

[BCCA]

What if the project doesn't have too much face-to-face interaction. We are setting up an event October, and a lot of it delegation and people just get their jobs done. I wouldn't be seeing her all too much.

 

Im going to be honest, she probably knows youre interested, and doesnt seem interested herself. She said she was busy, but then didnt suggest a time when she wasnt. Rule #1 in asking someone out, anything but yes = no. She basically turned you down, sorry man.

 

Next, dont ask women out at work. Youre just asking for an awkward situation, and there are plenty of women that dont work at the same place as you do. Unless you are 100% positive you both have the same feelings, dont go there. Dude, she isnt interested.

 

Keep this in mind: when women like you, they make it EASY to ask them out. If they are busy, they offer alternatives. When neither of these things happen, they arent interested. Women ALWAYS leave the door slightly open so they dont feel guilty, but its usually pretty easy to see how interested they are.

[WTRanger]

She said she was busy, but then didnt suggest a time when she wasnt. Rule #1 in asking someone out, anything but yes = no. She basically turned you down, sorry man.

Just because she's busy doesn't mean she's not interested and not every one follows that rule of counter-suggesting the time. It's a blanket statement and holds water, but has holes.

 

Next, dont ask women out at work. Youre just asking for an awkward situation, and there are plenty of women that dont work at the same place as you do.

Again, blanket statement. I know plenty of couples both dating and married who work at the same place. Yes, it takes more effort but if she's worth it you take the risk. Some people are comfortable with it, some aren't. As long as you can act civil, I know that's tough for some people, you can make it work. If she's not comfortable with this, then she'll tell you and at least you tried. You didn't rely on some arcane rule that may or may not apply.

 

 

Just ask her to dinner. Make it simple, don't pick the fanciest place you can think of. Don't make it vague like next week or next weekend. Make it solid, make it direct, be a man and leave ZERO room for loopholes. It's, "Do you want to get a bite to eat on X day at X time?" As BCCA says, anything other than a solid yes is a no.

 

Stop the the analyzing, assumptions, what-ifs, stop checking the angle of the moon, the air temperature, her body temperature, the maybes, the mights, and the have-nots, and just F'ing ask her! Directly, face to face. Don't puss out and do it over chat or text. Face to face leaves little wiggle room and you'll get the most honest answer.

 

You'll have your answer, a direct and solid answer.

[AJsHere]

Im going to be honest, she probably knows youre interested, and doesnt seem interested herself. She said she was busy, but then didnt suggest a time when she wasnt. Rule #1 in asking someone out, anything but yes = no. She basically turned you down, sorry man.

 

Next, dont ask women out at work. Youre just asking for an awkward situation, and there are plenty of women that dont work at the same place as you do. Unless you are 100% positive you both have the same feelings, dont go there. Dude, she isnt interested.

 

Keep this in mind: when women like you, they make it EASY to ask them out. If they are busy, they offer alternatives. When neither of these things happen, they arent interested. Women ALWAYS leave the door slightly open so they dont feel guilty, but its usually pretty easy to see how interested they are.

 

First, she isn't at work. This is a volunteer project I asked her to help me with. There are others involved. We've worked on other volunteer projects before in the past.

 

When I met to talk to her about the project, she was excited to come and hear about it. Even told me to txt her updates on a negotiate matter I was dealing with that was related to the project.

 

Also, when she said she was busy (family obligations), she did say maybe another Saturday when we're free. Sounds kind of ambiguous and maybe she's trying to be nice, but who knows.

 

At this point, it's a bit unclear, and other than liking her and wanting to date her, I'd like to at least get a better idea of what she's thinking. So by having a better idea of her disinterest, I can move on.

[Phateless]

So I am thinking about asking this girl out. I've had a crush on her for about a year now and never did anything about it. We've worked together on volunteer projects before and know each other through mutual friends.

 

She's your typical girl next door: sweet, homely, nice, cute, hasn't had too much experience in the dating world (I think)

 

I've been conversing with her over txt and email for a while, but I've taken it up a notch over the past week. I even proposed to meet up with her to talk about a new project I'm working on. She agreed and was excited to help out.

 

I also asked her to go somewhere this weekend but she said she was busy with her mom. My last txt message to her went unanswered last night!

 

I don't know if she doesn't like me or is oblivious to the fact that I like her, but I need some suggestions here. Please help

 

Do I just tell her I like you and want to get to know you better and ask her to a dinner??? Would that scare her a bit? How forward should I be in my actions.

 

BTW, I'm 26, she's 23.

 

A WHOLE YEAR?! That is way too long to like someone and never do anything about it.

 

Don't make it a big thing.

 

Ask her to hang out.

 

Hold her hand.

 

Kiss her at the end of the night.

 

Easy.

[AJsHere]

A WHOLE YEAR?! That is way too long to like someone and never do anything about it.

 

Don't make it a big thing.

 

Ask her to hang out.

 

Hold her hand.

 

Kiss her at the end of the night.

 

Easy.

 

Well I've known OF her for a year. We have barely had a on-going relationship where we see or do something together for weeks sometimes months at a time.

[WTRanger]

A WHOLE YEAR?! That is way too long to like someone and never do anything about it.

Easy.

 

Some people wait longer, some people wait less. The fact is, he's doing something about it now. In the present time.

 

OP, just ask her out already.

[AJsHere]

Some people wait longer, some people wait less. The fact is, he's doing something about it now. In the present time.

 

OP, just ask her out already.

 

Any suggestions?

 

I'm kinda a dud when it comes to initiation and reading girls. After I get settled I'm totally fine........but I'm stuck at square one

[GorillaTheater]

Any suggestions?

 

I'm kinda a dud when it comes to initiation and reading girls. After I get settled I'm totally fine........but I'm stuck at square one

 

You've known her for a year, so what common interests do you have? Capitalize on that.

 

Dinner and a movie are kind of unimaginative, but a safe standby.

[caramel c]

Just do it. Do it, do it, do it. Ask her out. Do it soon!

[AJsHere]

She told me last week that she's free Monday, Wed and Friday nights. This is when we were trying to get a time to meet to discuss things.

 

If I ask to go out on Friday, she might already have plans and could say I'm busy again. If I ask on a Wed, she most likely won't have plans and if she says no or I'm busy, I think that is a good indicator of how she feels.

 

Asking to grab a bite after on work on a Wed, how does that look to you guys? It's like a mid-week date........hmmm ?

[caramel c]

She told me last week that she's free Monday, Wed and Friday nights. This is when we were trying to get a time to meet to discuss things.

 

If I ask to go out on Friday, she might already have plans and could say I'm busy again. If I ask on a Wed, she most likely won't have plans and if she says no or I'm busy, I think that is a good indicator of how she feels.

 

Asking to grab a bite after on work on a Wed, how does that look to you guys? It's like a mid-week date........hmmm ?

 

On Monday ask her out for Fri night. If she's busy then ask her when would be a good time. You'll know by her answer if she is interested. If she says she's not sure, she's not interested. If she offers another day right away, you have a date.

[WTRanger]

 

Just ask her to dinner. Make it simple, don't pick the fanciest place you can think of. Don't make it vague like next week or next weekend. Make it solid, make it direct, be a man and leave ZERO room for loopholes. It's, "Do you want to get a bite to eat on X day at X time?" As BCCA says, anything other than a solid yes is a no.

.

 

That's my suggestion, and I'm sticking to it. Several other posters have echoed this suggestion. It's simple, it's to the point, it's clear. Do it the next time you see her.

[Palmer253]

It's like a mid-week date........hmmm ?

 

I think mid-week dates are the way to go in the beginning. Don't cop out with something like dinner, or a movie. Just because it's Wednesday doesn't mean their aren't fun things to do. Ask her to go ice skating, or to go ride go-karts (well doing something that will mess up her appearance is never a good idea for a first date), maybe putt putt or bowling. If that goes well then you can go grab a bite to eat, then if that goes well finish that night off with a nice walk or something. Put some effort into thinking about where to go and what to do. You want her to think you're a fun and creative guy, she's 23; she wants/likes fun I promise you.

[Phateless]

Any suggestions?

 

I'm kinda a dud when it comes to initiation and reading girls. After I get settled I'm totally fine........but I'm stuck at square one

 

So hurry up and get out of square one, since you don't like it there.

 

Seriously, in all honesty you are putting yourself through all of this. Quit thinking about it and ask her to hang out.

 

GO GO GO GO!!!!

[SoulSearch_CO]

Dude, you are so overthinking this. Day of the week does not freaking matter. I felt like I was in a chick-flick when I read you say, "mid-week date...." Good grief. I had to sit and think back on what days the dates were on that I just went on with this guy I REALLY like. Let's see...Friday 1:30p (Oh noooooes...Surely he's friendzoned according to the movie "Just Friends"). Saturday, 5p-7p. Tuesday, 4:30p-7:30p. Who the hell cares? LOL Just ask her, already. Jeebus.

[Isolde]

I would wait a couple days to see if she responds, and then ask her out. With a big crush like this, it's always better to be proactive, either moving ahead or letting go depending upon her reaction.

[Confusedalways]

Very easy! A simple 'are you free for dinner X at Y time?'

 

You will never know if you don't ask