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I don't get asked out in person...


V.Vixen

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ever.

 

I am pretty, and I think that I have much more to offer beyond that.

 

I will admit that I might put off a "vibe" that prevents guys from approaching me. I just think it's a misunderstanding because of my shyness, but I NEVER get approached and asked out... just oogled or looked at.

 

This is why I do online dating, because I am able to get over the shyness and be open when I meet someone. I get a LOT of hits online because my pics are inviting and my profile is well written. When I tell those guys that I never get asked out they are shocked.

 

So, guys, what's your take on a situation like this? What can a shy girl do when she is nervous? I am not one of those people who talks to people I don't know in public a lot and I am trying so hard to change it. I just FREEZE and I am sure I don't look approachable. Maybe that's not it, and it's intimidation?

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I have no idea where she is!

 

Okay first step : ask her where she lives or set a date to meet her at a club or supermarket and then ask her out.

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ever.

 

I am pretty, and I think that I have much more to offer beyond that.

 

I will admit that I might put off a "vibe" that prevents guys from approaching me. I just think it's a misunderstanding because of my shyness, but I NEVER get approached and asked out... just oogled or looked at.

 

This is why I do online dating, because I am able to get over the shyness and be open when I meet someone. I get a LOT of hits online because my pics are inviting and my profile is well written. When I tell those guys that I never get asked out they are shocked.

 

So, guys, what's your take on a situation like this? What can a shy girl do when she is nervous? I am not one of those people who talks to people I don't know in public a lot and I am trying so hard to change it. I just FREEZE and I am sure I don't look approachable. Maybe that's not it, and it's intimidation?

 

 

I have always been the same way. I probably give off this vibe that is a bit standoffish because I was always so shy. I've had guys approach me, but can't recall that many times. It's easier to do the online thing. I really don't know what to do, unless you just make yourself become more outgoing.

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V.Vixen, smile.. A LOT. I was told by my friends that I have this unapproachable look on my face when I go to clubs so they asked me to smile more. So I did - a lot. Showed my teeth too. Few men came up to me and asked me..

 

if I were crazy.

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V.Vixen, smile.. A LOT. I was told by my friends that I have this unapproachable look on my face when I go to clubs so they asked me to smile more. So I did - a lot. Showed my teeth too. Few men came up to me and asked me..

 

if I were crazy.

 

:lmao: Yep. And eye contact, very important.

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I have a Q - it's related to the thread (I think).

 

Seeing that people do get hit on in clubs, do they really go up to someone when they are in a supermarket or does that only happen in the US?

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hmm I have the same issues.....hey where in NJ are u? I'm in East Brunswick. Ever feel that when you go out with friends that they just kind of push you to the side and no one is really interested in you?

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V.Vixen, smile.. A LOT. I was told by my friends that I have this unapproachable look on my face when I go to clubs so they asked me to smile more. So I did - a lot. Showed my teeth too. Few men came up to me and asked me..

 

if I were crazy.

 

yup, Lyssa's got it. Smiling makes a person not only more attractive but a lot more approachable.

 

You can also do the 3 second look. That involves looking at someone, making eye contact for 3 seconds and then giving a sweet smile.

 

You can learn it be practicing in the mirror, then going out and trying it on strangers. After a while you'll get over the fear.

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Guys are more likely to approach you if they think there's less of a chance of rejection. If you're very shy and are giving out a stand-offish vibe, that will put a lot of guys off. Smile, laugh, make eye contact, even say hi - generally try to indicate your interest to a guy and he's more likely to approach you. Or you could practice approaching the guys! This strategy rarely fails, especially if you're pretty - guys love being approached by a pretty girl, not least because it eliminates the prospect of rejection. It's easy - you just say "Hi, can I join you?", "Is this seat empty?" and introduce yourself and make smalltalk.

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Ok, I DO get appraoched when I am out with friends at the bar, and the alcohol certainly helps. I mean more in everyday life. I don't get approached at the grocery store or dunkin donuts.

 

Yes, that is me in the avator. This is me too:

on the right

 

again..

 

 

au natural. lol

 

 

 

I am in Morristown.

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Guys are more likely to approach you if they think there's less of a chance of rejection. If you're very shy and are giving out a stand-offish vibe, that will put a lot of guys off. Smile, laugh, make eye contact, even say hi - generally try to indicate your interest to a guy and he's more likely to approach you. Or you could practice approaching the guys! This strategy rarely fails, especially if you're pretty - guys love being approached by a pretty girl, not least because it eliminates the prospect of rejection. It's easy - you just say "Hi, can I join you?", "Is this seat empty?" and introduce yourself and make smalltalk.

 

 

gah... I get so nervous. I wouldn't be able to do it! lol

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And please don't laugh like a hyena and flip your hair endlessly...

 

 

Hahaha. never! That is not my style at all.

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Seriously who knows why u don't get asked out in person. Just don't worry about it. When I asked my gf out who is super hot, she told me I was the first person to ever just ask her out like that. She had met her previous bf online, and before that she had just dated friends from school who she had known before going on a date. I was the first guy to just walk up and ask her out with out first knowing her. So it probably doesn't happen that often

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I guess people talk about it like it happens all the time. I just don't think i have the personality for it. Once I know someone I am very outgoing, but I have a really hard time with people I don't know at all.

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You look pretty approachable to me. Very sweet girl. It takes time. Why don't you give a try this weekend. Smile a lot more and see how that goes.

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It's usually easiest and best to be in a situation where talking to someone is natural... rather than doing a cold approach. As others have said, I don't think random chitchat really leads to a lot of dates but it is good for boosting confidence if you want to become less shy.

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I have trouble with the chit chat thing altogether.

 

Tomorrow night I will be in Atlantic city and the alcohol will be flowing, so I can't even count that. I guarantee I will talk to men. I usually do when I have a couple drinks.

 

I am going to try the chit chat thing next time I am in the grocery store or something...even though it terrifies me. I get tongue tied and anxious. lol

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I am going to try the chit chat thing next time I am in the grocery store or something...even though it terrifies me. I get tongue tied and anxious. lol

 

Just don't ask anything about pickles though...

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Tip: Don't mention to men you might want to date that you never get asked out.

 

 

Tip: Sometimes really tasty and nutritionally valuable foodstuffs are on high shelves that you can't reach ;)

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