OverThinker Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 So my gf had invited me to go to see a friend of hers band, I couldn't go cause I was busy but I said I would come by after. She said that she would probably not still be there but her friend would. So I went after I was done and introduced myself to her friend (we had never met before). I found out that my gf had texted her friend that she couldn't make it. So this morning when I talked to my gf she got all upset that I went by and interduced myself without her there. She said that it was stalkerish that I would introduce myself to one of her friends without her around and that it is wierd that I could just pop up somewhere without being invited that she would have to worrie that I might just pop up. I didn't see any issue with what I did. So my question stands, Did I cross the line should I have not gone or should I just never show up somewhere I know she is without being invited? Any Help would be great Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I don't see how you did anything wrong. You're free to introduce yourself to whomever you please, whenever you please. She's not your mommy or your wife. You can do as you wish. I'm starting to smell "control freak." Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 She overreacted; you didn't do anything wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 She's the one with the problem. But, if you continue dating someone like this, then I am sure you will continue to buy MORE problems of this nature. She sounds insecure, immature, and controlling. What did she expect you to do? Ignore her friend and just walk out the door? And why didn't she text YOU that she wasn't going to be there? Link to post Share on other sites
frustrated&sad Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 As a woman, I can tell you that this does not bode well for you. Mixed messages are never a good sign, and it seems she has issues related to jealousy or fear that you might meet someone else if she's not around. From my point of view: if my ex had ever gone of out of his way to actually introduce himself to my friend and spend time with him or her, I would have been over the moon. I find it rare that partners want to get to know your friends without you around. In my book, I would have thought this was great! A positive sign that you were (1) going out of your way to be somewhere that I had initially invited you and (2) interested in getting to know my friends separately as individuals. I agree with Thaddeus. She sounds like she might have control issues, but she might not even be aware of them. You should tell her how you feel and reassure her that you she has nothing to worry about. After all, you had an invitation. Unless it was rescinded, an invitation is an invitation. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted July 19, 2009 Share Posted July 19, 2009 I agree with the other posters- this girl's reaction screams controlling, jealous, possessive Link to post Share on other sites
Author OverThinker Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 Thanks for the comformation That what I did was not wrong. She called me back last night and did appologize for getting so upset but she says it freaks her out that I would just introduce myself to her friends without her around and asked that I not do it again. I couldn't really get a why out her but she said she has never dated anyone who would do that. After we got off the phone i thought we ll I should have said "Then you've never dated anyone who really cares about you". Anyway thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 She called me back last night and did appologize for getting so upset but she says it freaks her out that I would just introduce myself to her friends without her around and asked that I not do it again. I hope you didn't agree to that, did you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author OverThinker Posted July 20, 2009 Author Share Posted July 20, 2009 I agreed to not introduce myself to one of her friends she had not yet introduced me to. Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I agreed to not introduce myself to one of her friends she had not yet introduced me to. Boo! Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I couldn't go cause I was busy but I said I would come by after. She said that she would probably not still be there but her friend would. So I went after I was done and introduced myself to her friend This is ridiculous for your girlfriend to get angry about. You know what I think happened? Your girlfriend expected that you wouldn't turn up because she said she was most likely not going to be there. However, you had already told her that you would probably come by later, which you did. Your girlfriend was not there. How rude and impolite would it have been of you to arrive there and ignore her friend? You would have got an angry response to that too I'll bet. Anyway, methinks that she's insecure and fretting that by not being there herself that maybe her friend might move in on you. Perhaps she has issues with her friend, maybe this girl has a history of stealing men she wants from her. You just don't know what is going on in your girlfriend's mind or what history she has with that particular friend. What is obvious is that it's some kind of insecurity on her part and she felt worried about not being there because she couldn't witness and control the interaction between you and her friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Boo! Agreed. Man up, my friend. You can introduce yourself to whomever you please, whenever you please. You do not need her permission to do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 I agreed to not introduce myself to one of her friends she had not yet introduced me to. I missed this. Control. Control freak. Did I not mention the word 'control' in my earlier post. BIG red flag, be very, very wary. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleGuyBigIssues Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Yeah that sounds like overreacting to me. She mentioned that she would have to be worried because you can just pop in on her friends right? Did you try asking her what she is so worried about then if you happen to meet one of her friends? Link to post Share on other sites
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